About slimilicious : Just a bored eighteen year old, here to read about other people's shitty lives in order to make myself feel better about my own.
slimilicious's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
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You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
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slimilicious's favorite FMLs
Today, a little girl standing next to me on the train suddenly hugged me. I thought maybe she was sad or I reminded her of someone, and hugged her back. Then she smiled, squeezed my lovehandles, and said "Honk, honk!" FML
by squeezable / 06/19/2009 at 1:48pm / United States (New York) / Transportation
Today, I was reading through a local wedding mag's advice page. A mother-in-law to be was writing about how to handle wanting her son to break off his engagement. I thought, "Wow. That must suck. I'm glad I like my mother-in-law to be." And then I saw her name. FML
by Anonymous / 06/04/2009 at 7:11am / United States / Love
Today, I was at the gynecologist and he was performing a routine check-up. He was a new doctor and I was just slightly uncomfortable with him. About mid-check-up, as he felt around my uterus, he said in a cartoonish voice, "Oh, it's so squishy up here." The doctor turned me into a sock puppet. FML
by Anonymous / 04/20/2009 at 1:55pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health
Today, I learned I made the dean's honor list for my college for the first time since attending. I asked my dad if he was proud of me, to which he replied, "when you're as successful as your brother, I'll be proud." My brother is a Chippendale's dancer. FML
by GracelandDave / 03/19/2009 at 3:10am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I was at work on a smoke break. I work at a truck stop, and it was around 2am. This old man… Today, I placed a Bible app next to an app I use for porn, in the hope that it will encourage me to… Today, my girlfriend said she would give my penis a name: Gonzales. I asked why she wanted to name…