About slimilicious : Just a bored eighteen year old, here to read about other people's shitty lives in order to make myself feel better about my own.
slimilicious's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
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You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.
slimilicious's favorite FMLs
Today, I realized that whenever I use emoticons, I tend to make the same face in real life. My coworkers gleefully showed me various pictures with my tongue out, face scrunched up, and so on, while staring at my phone. They've already made their way around the office. FML
by dawn / 07/21/2012 at 12:24pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work
Today, I was at the laundromat when a huge, tattoo-covered man wearing nothing but denim booty shorts and a wife-beater sat down beside me. He stared at me for a while, before telling me all about how I reminded him of his "first prison bitch." FML
by Anonymous / 05/18/2012 at 10:35pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by nickthetank / 12/31/2011 at 4:21am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 10/01/2011 at 2:48am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health
by Username / 08/14/2011 at 1:44pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, while in a public restroom I could hear a guy having his way with his hand. He was quoting verses from the bible. I was in a cubicle and he was at the urinal. I was too frightened to leave. This went on for a very long time. FML
by biblewanker / 12/17/2010 at 11:05am / Australia / Intimacy
Today, I took a girl I like to the movies. Everything went great until I went in to kiss her. She didn't object, but my mother, who apparently followed me to the theater and was now pulling me away by my shirt while saying, "We're leaving!" certainly did. FML
by Jake / 09/28/2010 at 1:35pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love
Today, I was in the car with my 16 year old daughter. There was a guy on a fast looking motorcycle next to me at the stop light. I yelled to him to "get it up!" so that he would do a wheelie. Just before the light turned green he yelled back, "You're too old for me, but I'll get it up for her!" FML
by Anonymous / 02/05/2010 at 1:18am / United States (California) / Transportation
Today, while at work at a maternity and baby clothes store, I was supposed to send out an email about our "Beat the Clock" sale. After it was sent to over 500 people, I realized that I'd misspelled the subject line. It read, "Beat the Cock Sale." FML
by Oops / 01/14/2010 at 10:55am / United States (Georgia) / Work
by iheartvodka / 11/07/2009 at 1:55am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/04/2009 at 4:42pm / United States (South Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by whatthef / 11/02/2009 at 1:06pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend asked me out to dinner, which we never do. While at the restaurant he gets down on his knees, looks me in the eyes, and pulls out a little box. He opens it and inside is a note that says 'We're Done.' He then leaves me at the restaurant with the bill and the $2.00 box. FML
by Anonymous / 10/08/2009 at 3:04pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love
Today, my family took me to a wig store saying I wouldn't feel so insecure about being bald because of my chemo treatments. When I told them I accepted myself and didn't want a wig, they came out and told me THEY couldn't accept it. My own family is embarrassed of me over something I can't control. FML
by Betrayed / 07/31/2009 at 5:35am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, I came home and found out that my new roommate, who smokes half a pack of cigarettes a day and drinks heavily 5 nights a week, had smashed my $300 bong because "weed is a horrible and deadly drug that will kill you slowly." FML
by expen_dable / 07/06/2009 at 1:55am / United States (New Hampshire) / Miscellaneous
- Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex at his house. When we got there, he checked his mail… Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He was about to make me come so I lifted my arm above my… Today, my boyfriend questioned why I always put my shirts in the dryer right before wearing them. I…