Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

slimblack

Offline (15 hours ago) | Search for a member

slimblack

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 17 April 2000 (14 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 190
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 24 posted

About slimblack : I'm 14, single Pringle, love animals!
Feel free to message me. I love to meet new people. I love music, drawing, painting, and anything artistic. I love to sing and play my trumpet, guitar, and drums. I'm a tomboy but I do have a girly side. I do gymnastics and I swim. I don't like any beverages other than water and red kool aid. 2 older brothers, mom and dad. Going into 9th grade. Freshman. If you want to know anything else just message me. :*

slimblack's page activity

Visits<b>hare</b> - 2 hours ago<b>killer0689</b> - 14 hours ago<b>Kenna515</b> - 24 hours ago<b>senor_octubre</b> - 24 hours ago<b>iHiccupBS</b> - yesterday at 2:26am<b>danbobwoods</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 11:42pm<b>itzjstnx</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 3:32pm<b>12goldfish69</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 7:25pm<b>Kyle1dc</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 12:02am<b>mein_blut69</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 10:56am<b>cba7</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 9:12am<b>Cacksonic</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 5:32am<b>Jeeper4Life</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 7:22pm<b>aron1991</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 3:30am<b>Way2Fast8</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 12:33am<b>kidinkbaby</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 3:14pm<b>ex_omer</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 5:07am<b>petrolhead</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 1:05am

slimblack's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of slimblack's badges

slimblack's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to a baseball game with my girlfriend's dad. I got a boner when they sang the anthem, because that's what I sing in my head when having sex with his daughter so I last longer. FML

#21240482
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40527) - you deserved it (14914)

On 08/18/2014 at 12:39pm - intimacy - by embarrassed - United States (New York)

Today, a few minutes after giving birth to our fourth child, my wife pulled me close and whispered, "I love you, but if you ever put me through that again I'll rip your balls off." Everyone laughed. FML

#21239517
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40976) - you deserved it (13256)

On 08/17/2014 at 2:15am - kids - by you ripped them off ages ago (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, it's my birthday. When I asked my mom if we were gonna do anything special for my birthday. She said, "don't lie to me. It's not your birthday." FML

#21238688
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42819) - you deserved it (2892)

On 08/16/2014 at 1:09am - misc - by bad birthdays - United States (California)

Today, it was a hot day and a woman walking in front of me collapsed. I helped her up, and I called an ambulance while she laid down. While we waited, two teenage girls walked past and I heard one say to the other, "I love how this city just lets people tan wherever". FML

#21237053
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37867) - you deserved it (2554)

On 08/13/2014 at 11:02pm - kids - by Anonymous - New Zealand

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

#21235845
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37308) - you deserved it (22870)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by not a dick-man (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, since I work at a doughnut shop, I came home smelling like fry oil and had bits of sugar on me. My boyfriend told me he loves having sex with me right after I get off work. He said its like having sex with a hot doughnut. FML

#21230044
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43643) - you deserved it (6817)

On 08/05/2014 at 12:48pm - intimacy - by donutsex (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my cat tried to jump up to the window, and missed. This would have been hilarious if I had not been sleeping under that same window, and then caught him with my face. FML

#21225823
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36320) - you deserved it (4055)

On 07/31/2014 at 1:28pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I hugged my dad. Since I don't hug him very much, he was confused. When I pulled away from him, smiling, he slapped me, saying the smiling and the hug made it look like I was "up to something." FML

Today, I woke up to an old lady right outside my open window, saying "Hello in there! Are you sleepy?" I was so startled that I answered her. She screamed. Turns out she's my neighbour's elderly mother, didn't know I was in there, and was talking to my cat. FML

#21201617
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40942) - you deserved it (4034)

On 07/07/2014 at 11:59am - animals - by ADanceWithDavos (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I got called a cunt at work by a customer. What could I have said that could have caused them to say that? "Have a great day." FML

#21201129
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38684) - you deserved it (3524)

On 07/06/2014 at 11:39pm - work - by notoneatall - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend said that he doesn't have to marry me because we coincidentally have the same last name. FML

#21200981
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43901) - you deserved it (4964)

On 07/06/2014 at 9:27pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to see the school counselor to schedule my classes for school. She asked me if I knew how to speak English. My parents are Chinese and I don't even know how to speak Chinese. I've lived in America my whole life. Plus, I even spoke to her in English to ask about classes. FML

#21200980
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44277) - you deserved it (3454)

On 07/06/2014 at 9:27pm - work - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I called my mother crying, telling her how my husband has apparently been cheating on me for months. To my surprise, she didn't interrupt me or cut me off the whole time. Only when she didn't respond, did I realize she'd hung up a half an hour ago. FML

#21200725
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48444) - you deserved it (5329)

On 07/06/2014 at 4:27pm - misc - by ILOVELEDZEPPELIN - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my girlfriend was feeling down because she has put on some weight. I tried to make her feel better by showing her I can still pick her up. I can, and I was even able to hide the fact that I shat myself doing it. I'm so romantic. FML

#21200680
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51983) - you deserved it (7803)

On 07/06/2014 at 3:28pm - love - by oh shit (man) - United States (Illinois)



FML's blog

  • AD_e's Illustrated FML
  • Hi gang ! It's Friday once more and time for us to go on a magical mystery tour around the brain of yet another illustrator. This week, things have happened around the world that were so depressing, I don't…

Monday 18 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: