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sleepy_jaz

Offline (the 04/17/2015 at 8:14am) | Search for a member

sleepy_jaz

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 1375
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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sleepy_jaz's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

42

You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of sleepy_jaz's badges

sleepy_jaz's favorite FMLs

Today, my roommate wants to kick me out because I can't afford to pay my share of the rent this month. I couldn't afford to, because I had to pay for repairs to my car after my roommate got drunk, stole my keys, and crashed it into a street light. FML

#21394027
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32283) - you deserved it (2404)

On 04/15/2015 at 10:32am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, my 13-year-old sister told me that she wants to get pregnant soon to stop her periods for a while. I can't believe we're related. FML

#21393492
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28823) - you deserved it (2342)

On 04/14/2015 at 11:49am - health - by TheGoodSister - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, my family checked into a hotel for spring break. The first thing my brother did was steal all the bars of soap and bottles of shampoo. He's now guarding them, and hissing at anyone that tries to take them. I just want to take a shower. FML

#21392089
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25825) - you deserved it (2485)

On 04/11/2015 at 11:05pm - kids - by ShampooThief - United States

Today, I was asked to prom by the same guy who "accidentally" cut off a chunk of my hair in class and with whom I haven't had a conversation in my life. When I politely declined he said, "You'll regret this". FML

#21392030
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29377) - you deserved it (2281)

On 04/11/2015 at 9:53pm - misc - by scared4myhair - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out that my family and friends all laugh and compare me to Spongebob behind my back. Why? Because I'm 37 and still can't pass my driver's test. FML

#21391668
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27113) - you deserved it (15975)

On 04/11/2015 at 3:56am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after getting a pay raise at work after 15 years and pulling a loan for a new house, I went back to work from a two-week paid vacation to find out that I had been fired two weeks ago for "no call, no show". My manager claims he doesn't recall ever signing a paper for my paid vacation. FML

Today, I bought a garden gnome to spice up my lawn. Tonight, someone threw it right through my living room window. Not only will the repairs cost a ton, my neighbor keeps saying stupid shit to me, like "You must be shattered" and "Looks like you ain't got a window gnome... more." FML

#21391420
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26030) - you deserved it (2841)

On 04/10/2015 at 6:17pm - misc - by dickhead (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he's prepared to commit to marriage, but only if I buy my own ring and tell everyone he surprised me with it. FML

#21391357
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27967) - you deserved it (3042)

On 04/10/2015 at 4:19pm - love - by undanya__four (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, my roommate's noisiest cat passed away. My previously-silent cat has decided that someone has to fill the void, and has been running around the apartment howling ever since. FML

#21391230
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26423) - you deserved it (3060)

On 04/10/2015 at 11:20am - animals - by Crazy cat lady - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend repeatedly whispering in my ear, "You want to give me a blowjob". Yes, he actually thought it would work. FML

#21389410
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26956) - you deserved it (3319)

On 04/07/2015 at 5:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found my first bra and tried it on. It still fits. FML

#21388113
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30832) - you deserved it (3266)

On 04/05/2015 at 3:18pm - misc - by Itsbeen8years (woman) - Slovakia (Bratislava)

Today, as I was walking to work, a cyclist shot out of nowhere and slammed into me. I hit the ground hard and lay there in agony. The guy quickly dusted himself off, said "Sorry man. It's a vicious cycle." then chuckled at his own stupid pun and cycled away. FML

#21387543
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31311) - you deserved it (2492)

On 04/04/2015 at 1:32pm - health - by fuck right off (man) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)

Today, while at the zoo with my boyfriend, he pointed at the howling gorillas and shouted over to me: "Hah! That's what you sound like in bed!" FML

#21387442
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28106) - you deserved it (3647)

On 04/04/2015 at 8:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I visited my girlfriend's apartment for the first time. I guess she forgot to do some spring cleaning before I showed up, because I saw my laptop on her couch. The same laptop that was stolen from my house along with several other valuables last week. FML

#21387302
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33977) - you deserved it (2337)

On 04/04/2015 at 12:04am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I found out I wasn't invited to the annual family reunion. The reason? Everyone thinks I'm "creepy" because I'm the only adult who will go out and play with the kids. FML

#21387157
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28822) - you deserved it (2116)

On 04/03/2015 at 7:00pm - misc - by big_bail (man) - United States (California)



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