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sleepy_jaz

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sleepy_jaz

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sleepy_jaz's FML badges

42

You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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sleepy_jaz's favorite FMLs

Today, on our third date, my date tried to get me drunk and kept trying to touch me up. When I said he was moving too fast, he sighed and soon left. Just minutes later, he posted on Facebook saying "Just got friendzoned -_-". One of his friends commented: "I hate bitches, man." FML

#21303774
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4395) - you deserved it (432)

On 11/22/2014 at 8:44am - love - by drop dead single (woman) - United States

Today, I noticed my fish was still hungry after feeding him earlier. I figured "ehh a little bit more won't kill him". I was wrong. FML

#21303699
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12314) - you deserved it (3271)

On 11/22/2014 at 2:22am - animals - by liishax3 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the doctor's with my pregnant sister, only to find out she still weighs less than me. FML

#21303583
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12881) - you deserved it (2984)

On 11/21/2014 at 10:26pm - health - by alli67 -

Today, I learned that if life gives you lemons, your sister is going to squeeze them over your face while you take a nap on the couch. FML

#21303546
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14423) - you deserved it (992)

On 11/21/2014 at 9:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my supervisor was watching a video of his son. I heard a voice in the background and asked if it was Elmo. It was his wife. FML

#21302177
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27325) - you deserved it (4581)

On 11/19/2014 at 3:56pm - work - by bookworm - United States (Texas)

Today, I met my sister's fiancé. I would have been happier for her if he hadn't been mine a month ago when I introduced them. FML

#21301904
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33715) - you deserved it (2410)

On 11/19/2014 at 3:27am - love - by MissAggravared - United States (Idaho)

Today, my older brother thinks typing out a Wikipedia article for an essay is not plagiarism, because he didn't "copy and paste" it. He's in college. FML

#21300403
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27106) - you deserved it (1956)

On 11/16/2014 at 10:46pm - misc - by areyouserious (man) - United States (California)

Today, my wife slapped me for touching her boobs during sex. FML

#21296872
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43379) - you deserved it (4681)

On 11/11/2014 at 10:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend pretended to be reading braille while touching my chest acne. FML

#21295903
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34335) - you deserved it (5523)

On 11/10/2014 at 12:01am - intimacy - by annababyyyy - United States (Maryland)

Today, I excitedly told my mom that I'm pregnant with my second child. She shot back, "You know what's a REAL achievement? Jacking your dad off in church last week without anyone noticing. Aim higher." I really didn't need to know that. FML

#21294899
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39165) - you deserved it (3396)

On 11/08/2014 at 6:02pm - kids - by jennabee97 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I swapped out my maternity gown for a regular old t-shirt. My visiting mother-in-law called me a fatass and said I need to lose weight. I'd given birth just 40 hours earlier. FML

Today, I was getting everything ready for mine and my husband's first wedding anniversary. Flowers, check. Crisp new bed sheets, check. Silk underwear, check. Crippling cramps and an early period, check. FML

#21294602
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41877) - you deserved it (3082)

On 11/08/2014 at 9:09am - intimacy - by betterthanhodor - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, I spent over $2,000 on a big flatscreen TV. My dad insisted I let him mount it on the wall instead of paying someone to do it. All seemed fine, until the TV came loose and smashed onto the floor. My dad refuses to accept responsibility, and says I should've had a professional install it instead. FML

#21293581
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39607) - you deserved it (6413)

On 11/06/2014 at 6:37pm - money - by Anonymou$ (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, a character in the video game I was playing called my character a slut. My boyfriend ripped the controller from my hands, shot him dead, then fired the rest of my ammo into his corpse while yelling "FUCK YOU, BUDDY!" Good to know I'm dating a total lunatic. FML

#21293465
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32804) - you deserved it (6395)

On 11/06/2014 at 3:15pm - love - by notsofriendly (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend kept jiggling my fat rolls while we were cuddling. I was annoyed, and I told him he could at least go for my boobs instead. He instantly replied, "But these are bigger..." FML

#21293369
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34236) - you deserved it (7548)

On 11/06/2014 at 12:14pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)



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