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sleepy_jaz

Offline (the 01/29/2015 at 5:55am) | Search for a member

sleepy_jaz

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  • Number of visits : 1171
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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sleepy_jaz's FML badges

42

You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of sleepy_jaz's badges

sleepy_jaz's favorite FMLs

Today, I was getting a haircut. During the haircut, the barber cut her hand. She hesitated for a minute then continued to run her hands through and cut my hair with her bloody fingers. FML

Today, my husband came home, drunk and with lipstick smeared on his face. When I confronted him about it, he just slurred, "Ah don't worry babe, it ain't mine." FML

#21343515
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29644) - you deserved it (2271)

On 01/24/2015 at 3:26pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, at dinner, my downstair's neighbors described how they can listen to most of my movements, including the buzz of my phone when I text late at night. I think all of us knew it is not my phone that vibrates at that time. FML

#21343273
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27677) - you deserved it (4383)

On 01/24/2015 at 2:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized my job working with food is getting to me. While having sex with my boyfriend, I fell asleep. He asked me what I was doing, and apparently I sleep-talked, saying "I'm chopping lettuce". FML

#21343098
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28721) - you deserved it (3592)

On 01/23/2015 at 8:29pm - intimacy - by xoragebaby - United States

Today, I let out a monstrous fart at the gym. They said it didn't even sound human. FML

#21341250
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26829) - you deserved it (6009)

On 01/20/2015 at 9:41pm - misc - by highschoolsucks - United States

Today, I found out my boyfriend dresses in my underwear and tights, takes suggestive shots of his ass and legs, and uses them to trick people into thinking he's a girl so they buy him stuff in his online games. FML

#21340885
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32089) - you deserved it (3387)

On 01/20/2015 at 10:08am - misc - by mybfthecrossdresser (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I lost a sewing needle in the carpet. No worries, my big toe found it. FML

#21340022
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29887) - you deserved it (3638)

On 01/19/2015 at 1:34am - misc - by momac86 - United States

Today, my wife wanted me to take her to a new restaurant in town. When I looked it up and saw their prices, I almost had a heart attack. When I said it was too expensive, she snapped "Maybe you'd like to look up 'Lorena Bobbitt' next?!" We went to the restaurant. FML

#21338935
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28068) - you deserved it (5711)

On 01/17/2015 at 1:49pm - love - by wounded pride, intact cock (man) - United States

Today, a kid looked at me, screamed, then ran away yelling "Chewbacca!" FML

#21338512
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27245) - you deserved it (3127)

On 01/16/2015 at 8:59pm - kids - by DrLight - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I accidentally spilled a big glass of water on the table, where I had some papers, my cellphone, and a box of donuts. With lightning reflexes, my sister heroically jumped forward and saved the donuts. FML

#21338246
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25982) - you deserved it (8567)

On 01/16/2015 at 12:09pm - misc - by phones - United States

Today, I had lunch with my parents. I'm an Asian guy who married a Puerto Rican woman and we just had a boy. My dad looks at my son, then looks at me and says, "You ruined the bloodline." FML

Today, I was walking with a female friend when suddenly, my ex-girlfriend comes running down the street and says, "So, you're cheating on me with this slut, huh?!" We've been separated for a decade now. FML

#21336664
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35220) - you deserved it (2461)

On 01/13/2015 at 10:05pm - love - by RipeFlame - United States (Florida)

Today, a council worker showed up on my doorstep for the final pool installation inspection, which was scheduled 10 years ago. FML

#21336247
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29542) - you deserved it (1987)

On 01/13/2015 at 3:28am - misc - by livingstonjamie - Australia (Victoria)

Today, a girl from class screamed at me in public for hugging the guy she likes. She threatened to take me out if I didn't "back off". That guy is my boyfriend. FML

#21333251
112 comments

Today, my father was playing with my son and his toy animals. He picked one up and said, "What is this? Some kind of African horse?" It was a zebra. FML



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