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sleepy_jaz

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sleepy_jaz
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 358
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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sleepy_jaz's FML badges

42

You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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sleepy_jaz's favorite FMLs

Today, I lied to the cashier at my local store, saying that I was "nominated to buy the candy for the party" when in actuality I went home and gorged on it alone. FML

#21116013
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20338) - you deserved it (6193)

On 04/18/2014 at 1:37am - misc - by Fatass - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my ex-husband came to pick up our two kids for his weekend with them. Seeing his new girlfriend was in the car, and desperate for conversation, I asked her name. My kids unhesitatingly blurted out, "Mom". FML

#21115862
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29883) - you deserved it (2577)

On 04/17/2014 at 10:31pm - kids - by mommy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, it's my birthday. The only people who wished me a happy birthday were the ones who saw the "birthday boy" poster my sister plastered around school, which included a photo of me as a kid dressed up as a girl. FML

#21114561
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32397) - you deserved it (2881)

On 04/16/2014 at 1:24pm - misc - by birthdaygirl - United States (California)

Today, I was eating an apple in class. When I went to take a big bite, my teeth went right through the apple, causing me to scrape the apple right up my face. My nose then started to bleed. I'm now known as the girl who punched herself in the face with an apple. FML

#21114169
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31825) - you deserved it (5502)

On 04/15/2014 at 10:48pm - health - by Nose bleed - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my professor ran half a mile in the pouring rain just to return my cell phone, which I had left behind in lecture. Shocked and embarrassed, I exclaimed, "You shouldn't have!" "Damn right," he responded, "I'm 64 years old." FML

#21113974
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31272) - you deserved it (8799)

On 04/15/2014 at 7:18pm - work - by sad but true. - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I realized that the only female who shows any sexual interest in me at all is my 70-year-old neighbor. FML

#21113897
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32114) - you deserved it (3178)

On 04/15/2014 at 5:55pm - love - by gerontofuck (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend stayed over at my place for the first time. I left him in the bedroom for a couple of minutes while I used the toilet, and when I came back, he was holding my vibrator. He angrily asked me, "What the hell is this? You know this is cheating, right?" FML

#21113687
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38558) - you deserved it (5343)

On 04/15/2014 at 12:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my house was robbed. My two 70-pound German Shepherds obeyed me when I told them to attack. They also obeyed the robber when he said, "Sit". FML

#21113538
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42161) - you deserved it (3682)

On 04/15/2014 at 8:08am - animals - by stupiddog (man) - United States (California)

Today, while I was waiting for the bus, I was whistling. I saw a cute girl running and I looked at my phone so it didn't seem too awkward. I was still whistling as she passed by so it sounded like I whistled at her. She ran back to slap me. FML

#21113376
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32628) - you deserved it (5481)

On 04/15/2014 at 12:24am - misc - by heycutie - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was looking at the map on my phone whilst walking down a street. I heard the sound of a bike behind me so I moved to let the cyclist past. He snatched the phone out of my hand and sped off. FML

#21113059
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32570) - you deserved it (4015)

On 04/14/2014 at 7:43pm - misc - by stupidcunt (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, my boyfriend turned down a job that would have more than doubled his income because he didn't want to upset his current boss by quitting. FML

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!" I couldn't finish. FML

#21112870
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39983) - you deserved it (4654)

On 04/14/2014 at 4:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I wanted to prove to my dad that I can drive, so that he'd let me use his car in future. Let's just say I helped him remove the fence that he was planning to repair. FML

#21112820
61 comments

Today, I had to convince my 3-year-old son that there were monsters in the house just so he would lie in bed and cuddle me. FML

#21112742
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29037) - you deserved it (20812)

On 04/14/2014 at 12:57pm - kids - by tinytiny1124 (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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