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sleepy_jaz

Offline (the 09/12/2014 at 4:50am) | Search for a member

sleepy_jaz

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  • Number of visits : 884
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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sleepy_jaz's FML badges

42

You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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sleepy_jaz's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend went shopping at Victoria's Secret with me. While she was in the fitting room, her parents walked by and saw me. They don't approve of the store, so I panicked and told them I was considering becoming a woman. FML

#21255419
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38670) - you deserved it (10679)

On 09/09/2014 at 11:16pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my sister told me the reason why she went with me to a gay pride parade a few months ago was because she thought it would inspire me to come out. FML

Today, I woke up to find a huge zit directly between my two eyebrows. My friends have started calling me "The North Star." FML

#21253662
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33898) - you deserved it (3213)

On 09/07/2014 at 11:55am - health - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my daughter's teacher called me, very concerned, because my child told the whole class she's not virgin anymore. The word is "vegan", honey. FML

#21253313
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37166) - you deserved it (3392)

On 09/06/2014 at 9:57pm - kids - by healthfreak - United States (Georgia)

Today, I tried to pull the old "bucket of water above the door" prank on my brother, but the bucket didn't fall when he opened the door. He noticed it, took it down, then pinned me to the floor and waterboarded me with the ice-cold water. FML

#21252533
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15358) - you deserved it (34955)

On 09/05/2014 at 5:37pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vasterbottens Lan)

Today, I asked out the girl I really like. She turned me down, saying that she's a lesbian. That'd be fine, if I were a guy. FML

#21252521
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39231) - you deserved it (3618)

On 09/05/2014 at 5:11pm - love - by apparentlybutch (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, while my orthodontist was working on my teeth, she made the comment, "Wow! It looks like a murder scene in there!" FML

#21250795
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31915) - you deserved it (4738)

On 09/02/2014 at 9:35pm - health - by Gee... Thanks (man) -

Today, my sister introduced me to her new, deaf boyfriend. She proudly proclaimed that she was trying to learn sign language for his sake, so he wouldn't have to read her lips. I'm also deaf and have been trying to get her to do the same for me for 20 goddamn years. FML

#21250726
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47832) - you deserved it (2444)

On 09/02/2014 at 7:38pm - misc - by SadAndDeaf -

Today, while finally about to make love with my long term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML

#21249014
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42146) - you deserved it (4398)

On 08/31/2014 at 11:14am - intimacy - by anon - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw a customer wandering around, looking confused. I went over and kindly asked if I could help him find anything. He said no, but that he'd help me find the teeth he'd knock out of my mouth if I didn't get lost. FML

#21248418
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34171) - you deserved it (2724)

On 08/30/2014 at 11:14am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, it's been a few months since my grandfather passed away. Now all of his porn subscriptions are getting forwarded to my address. FML

#21246620
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35803) - you deserved it (2782)

On 08/27/2014 at 6:03pm - misc - by dr.mantistobagon (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. All I can remember is crying to my mom because I thought spoons were taking over the world. FML

Today, as I got out the shower, my mom walked in to give me a towel, then quickly covered her eyes and said, "Woah, I almost saw your penis. Good things it's ridiculously small." I had friends over, and I'm pretty sure I'll hear about this for at least the next month. FML

Today, it's my fourth day of my trip to the USA. I've actually started keeping count of the number of times people get confused because I was born in South Africa and yet am not black. Current count: 9. FML

#21245756
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40991) - you deserved it (3498)

On 08/26/2014 at 12:22pm - misc - by WTF, guys? - United States (California)

Today, some random bloke introduced himself at a bar by asking to fuck me. I got tongue-tied trying to say both "fuck off" and "please go away". I ended up telling him to "Please fuck away." FML

#21242424
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37462) - you deserved it (6735)

On 08/21/2014 at 12:36pm - misc - by royallymessedup -



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  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

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