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sleeplessjimmy

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sleeplessjimmy

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  • Number of visits : 319
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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sleeplessjimmy's page activity

Visits<b>mrusso95</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 8:36am<b>the_untouchables</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 6:51pm<b>Thursdayxo</b> - the 10/26/2013 at 7:50pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 10/01/2013 at 4:38am<b>Claytonioo</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 11:45pm<b>bitchwhore</b> - the 08/05/2013 at 2:57pm<b>xanewdawnx</b> - the 07/31/2013 at 1:48pm

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sleeplessjimmy's favorite FMLs

Today, my mum and I were referred to as "ladies". I'm happy for her, since she always complains about looking masculine. However, I would still like to be called a gentleman, seeing as how I am one. FML

#21000124
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40134) - you deserved it (3226)

On 12/21/2013 at 11:58am - misc - by FML (man) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I woke up to a loud crashing in the middle of the night. I went to investigate, but found nothing amiss. Nothing except an axe firmly wedged in my front door, that is. It's safe to say that I have no clue who did it, and that I needed a fresh pair of underwear. FML

#20999316
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43241) - you deserved it (2549)

On 12/20/2013 at 4:05pm - misc - by nopissleft (man) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, with my name sounding vaguely like 'Turkey' and being in the phonebook for business purposes, people keep calling, offering to stuff me for Thanksgiving. FML

#20973255
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36565) - you deserved it (3217)

On 11/28/2013 at 1:26am - animals - by NotTellingYouMyName (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my debate partner repeatedly said "You mad, bro?" to the opposing team in our college debate class. That debate was worth a considerable portion of our grade. FML

#20959913
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40571) - you deserved it (2891)

On 11/16/2013 at 3:18pm - misc - by gonnafail (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my debate partner repeatedly said "You mad, bro?" to the opposing team in our college debate class. That debate was worth a considerable portion of our grade. FML

#20959913
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40571) - you deserved it (2891)

On 11/16/2013 at 3:18pm - misc - by gonnafail (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my friends and I were exchanging stories with one another. I barely got a few sentences in before they started mocking and viciously insulting me for saying "swaggered", claiming it comes from the slang term "swag", and that they never thought I was a "dumbass hipster". Really now? FML

#20582400
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32972) - you deserved it (6833)

On 04/09/2013 at 5:04pm - misc - by nice education you've got there (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. FML

#20558527
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31288) - you deserved it (5897)

On 03/24/2013 at 8:23pm - misc - by Anna L. - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend cuffed my legs to the bed. After the sex we discovered one of the cuffs wouldn't open. After an hour of trying to pry them open, I had to waddle with him to the fire station to have them removed in front of 4 amused firefighters. FML

#19576314
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21631) - you deserved it (7819)

On 05/05/2012 at 8:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, I woke up next to my boss naked. We are both women and she is married. Work should be interesting tomorrow. FML

#17839569
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20505) - you deserved it (44503)

On 09/26/2011 at 2:20pm - intimacy - by BigBananaLover - United States (California)

Today, I wrote a mental note: don't tell a couple of nuns that you used black magic to fix their computer. Then don't tell the story to your boss just as the nuns walk back in again. Then don't say "speak of the devil" to them. FML

#14647834
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10054) - you deserved it (33416)

On 01/20/2011 at 5:55am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my ex decided he wanted to start calling me "Pup." I jokingly said "Please! Call me anything but that! Sausage face even! Just anything but that!" Later, we went bowling with a large group of friends. He put my name in the board as "Sausage Face." Everyone agreed it will be my new name. FML

#6312971
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7283) - you deserved it (37993)

On 11/15/2009 at 1:46pm - misc - by firefliiez (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I were on the phone. He started talking dirty, and saying how horny he was, etc. So I decided to play along and said "I want you to picture me naked, baby." All of a sudden I heard a huge sigh. He responded, "Ew, that just killed it." FML

#3925036
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62288) - you deserved it (11487)

On 07/21/2009 at 6:42am - intimacy - by picturemenakedbaby (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I caught some perverts sitting in a car in front of my house, spying on my neighbors. When they refused to leave, I grabbed a baseball bat and they sped off in a hurry. Later, those same perverts came back to arrest my neighbors for drug trafficking. I had threatened cops. FML

#3419869
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47463) - you deserved it (10725)

On 07/02/2009 at 3:22am - misc - by DaveAlmighty (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at a family get together with distant relatives. My grandma made a point to say how all of the grandkids brought their boyfriends or girlfriends. She looks at me, then turns to everyone and says "But not our Becky! She is more interested in her cats right now than finding a man." FML

#1738552
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48082) - you deserved it (6100)

On 05/07/2009 at 11:38pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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