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Today, my girlfriend hummed the Jeopardy theme while I was trying to undo her bra. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23280) - you deserved it (17421)
On 01/15/2012 at 7:52am - intimacy - by joeshmoe - United States (Washington)
Today, I stayed up until 4 am. I was waiting for both my cats to fall asleep, so I could play Santa and stuff their stockings in secret. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14073) - you deserved it (44629)
On 12/25/2011 at 6:39am - animals - by Anonymoose (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)
Today, my mom gave me my boyfriend's boxers that she'd washed after finding them in my camping bag. The boxers had "Big Banana" written all over them, along with pictures of bananas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7959) - you deserved it (20233)
On 12/09/2011 at 11:26am - love - by LinaLinaYeah (woman) - Canada
Today, I got into a car accident. The other party left the scene immediately after without exchanging insurance information. Deer can be so rude. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21120) - you deserved it (5857)
On 11/16/2011 at 9:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, a neighbor came by while I was cooking. She asked for some of my cheese, so I gave her a big slice and told her I only had cheddar. She angrily refused to accept the slice, and made her way to my fridge. She then yelled at me for not having an assortment of cheeses. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26079) - you deserved it (2167)
On 11/15/2011 at 3:40am - misc - by SetoAyumi - United States (California)
Today, I learned that all of the anonymous Valentine's gifts I received throughout high school were sent out of pity by my sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24235) - you deserved it (2266)
On 10/31/2011 at 2:45am - misc - by Mister_Triangle - United States
Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29918) - you deserved it (22081)
On 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I met my new dentist. His teeth are worse than mine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19732) - you deserved it (1832)
On 09/29/2011 at 1:20pm - health - by Vxale (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my professor snapped and told me that I know nothing, that everything I've ever learned is wrong, and that all of my former teachers should be shot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21682) - you deserved it (3376)
On 09/22/2011 at 2:36pm - misc - by failure (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I approached my daughter and told her she needs to clean her room. Her response was, "Thank you Captain Obvious." She's 4. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21505) - you deserved it (7078)
On 09/05/2011 at 1:04pm - kids - by kidswithnomanners (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my neighbor declared his love for me via "the medium of interpretative dance." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21216) - you deserved it (2484)
On 09/02/2011 at 2:54am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I had to take my dog to the vet for him to be put to sleep. I could feel the cold, hard shaft of irony slide its way up my ass and slowly fuck me senseless with every step I took on this beautiful National Dog Day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25405) - you deserved it (4085)
On 08/26/2011 at 1:49pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I got my tongue pierced, then went to a pet store. A clerk came up to ask if I needed help. I showed him I already had some fish, and said, "No thanks." He must have thought I was "special," as he bent down and in a baby voice, said "You got fishy? FISHY FISHY FISHY!" while poking the bag. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19166) - you deserved it (8248)
On 08/17/2011 at 4:13am - misc - by aprilfools22 - United States (California)
Today, I was eating Star Wars gummy candies and I bit R2-D2 in half. My girlfriend looked at it and said "Oh look, now he's R1-D1". It was super cute, but I couldn't help thinking, "That's not how the numbering system works for droids." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10659) - you deserved it (35895)
On 06/14/2011 at 6:04am - misc - by techiefIve (man) - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend hid my car keys and decided that she wouldn't give them back until I succeeded in giving her an orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13604) - you deserved it (58576)
On 04/08/2011 at 1:24am - intimacy - by failure -
Monday 17 June 2013
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