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sleaves

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sleaves

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1475
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About sleaves : I don't like people.

sleaves's page activity

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sleaves's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of sleaves's badges

sleaves's favorite FMLs

Today, I was on the phone bragging to a friend about losing my virginity last night. When I went downstairs, my 6 year old sister was digging through my purse. She explained that she had overheard my conversation and wanted to help me find my virginity. My mom was in the kitchen with us. FML

#4505034
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35281) - you deserved it (79241)

On 08/13/2009 at 4:57pm - kids - by bubbalicious (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my friends had ditched me for a party I hadn't been invited to so I was sitting home alone. The only other thing in my house was the mosquito I nicknamed Fred. I liked to watch Fred fly around and try to suck my blood. 20 minutes later, I found Fred's dead body. I was actually sad. FML

#4158002
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57638) - you deserved it (17274)

On 07/30/2009 at 10:43am - animals - by dumbo (man) - United States (Virginia) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, I took my daughter to the lake. She told me she had to go to the bathroom and I whispered to her "just pee in the lake, it's fine, but go in a little deeper." She went in the lake and turned to me to yell "MOM, IS THIS DEEP ENOUGH FOR ME TO PEE?" FML

#3804490
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12677) - you deserved it (58873)

On 07/16/2009 at 3:04pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got a parking ticket for $150. It seems it was issued by my husband, who apparently can't remember license plate numbers. FML

#3668962
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43436) - you deserved it (29851)

On 07/11/2009 at 3:22pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I come home to find my nephew holding pieces of my new $3,500 Sony Video Camera. He told me he threw it out the window because it was a portal for aliens. FML

#3527232
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48877) - you deserved it (3855)

On 07/06/2009 at 2:41pm - misc - by AidenFromSweden (man) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, my mom put some bubblewrap on my desk because she thought I would have fun with it. I'm 18. It was awesome. FML

#3229865
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71322) - you deserved it (41743)

On 06/26/2009 at 2:13am - misc - by Jeweler (man) - United States (California)

Today, while at football practice, my teammates and I were on water break. At the bus barn next to the field, a good-looking girl was washing a bus. Some of the guys started to yell pick-up lines at her from 50 yards away, and pretty soon I chime in. She turns around. It was my younger sister. FML

#3194809
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14172) - you deserved it (67172)

On 06/25/2009 at 1:02am - misc - by nail714 (man) - United States

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

#2532710
1185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (89015) - you deserved it (234509)

On 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm - animals - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I decided to tell my mother what I thought about religion. I've been raised catholic. I told her I was converting to Wicca, to which she sort of nodded and walked away. I went into my room to study with my earbuds in, music loud. I walked out to see a cross nailed above my door. FML

#2202679
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37720) - you deserved it (32030)

On 05/23/2009 at 1:50am - misc - by Sigh (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up to a hand rubbing my very erect penis, and a woman's peppermint breath in my ear. "Mom?" I called out instinctively, recalling how she always smells like peppermint. The hand stopped rubbing, and I turned to face my very disgusted looking girlfriend of three years. FML

#2005903
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29037) - you deserved it (86322)

On 05/17/2009 at 2:42am - intimacy - by Ohshit (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my 3-year-old said, "Mommy, I can share my teddy grahams with you." I said, "Thanks, honey, you're so sweet." And I ate a few. When I popped the last one in my mouth, I said, "Oh no, all gone!" She said, "That's okay, I have more." Then pulled the next handful out of her underwear. FML

#1918683
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58670) - you deserved it (6965)

On 05/13/2009 at 9:45pm - kids - by chelserusera (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was taking a bath and needed shampoo. I leaned on the soap holder to get some and it came off the wall. Huge ants started pouring out running up the walls, down the walls, EVERYWHERE. I ran out of the bathroom screaming, completely naked. FML

#1862791
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77669) - you deserved it (6102)

On 05/12/2009 at 12:19am - misc - by Karmas3itch - United States (Ohio)

Today, I performed in my school play. Right before my big solo, I noticed a few girls changing backstage and I became aroused. The play was Jesus Christ Superstar, and I was playing Jesus. All I was wearing was a little cloth, so the whole audience saw Jesus get hard during the crucifixion. FML

#981592
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (95849) - you deserved it (39143)

On 04/14/2009 at 11:27pm - intimacy - by jizzlemonster13 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

#960425
709 comments

I agree, your life sucks (743999) - you deserved it (56838)

On 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by meteorbabe0101 (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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