sleaves

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Offline (the 05/12/2016 at 2:58am)

sleaves

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2391
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About sleaves : I don't like people.

sleaves's page activity

Visits<b>Tripartita</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 2:08pm<b>iPixiee</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 6:02pm<b>plurplepenguin</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 12:00am<b>BunchieRules</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 6:39pm<b>kaffeeine</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 3:30am<b>alanamarieg</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 5:31pm<b>broohaha</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 11:57pm<b>phoneaddict13</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 4:35pm<b>metalhead4740</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 7:22pm<b>A_Dead_Fish32</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 1:48pm<b>diesel_power</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 7:26pm<b>Sweet_Visions</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 9:48am<b>aliceanon</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 11:31pm<b>GreenBeast</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 1:41pm<b>pinkshirtbadman</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 11:07am<b>inner_peace</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 11:22pm<b>Sjus</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 10:08pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 02/20/2014 at 4:23pm

Fucked!<b>Tripartita</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 8:09pm

sleaves's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of sleaves's badges

sleaves's favorite FMLs

Today, I gave birth to my daughter in a hospital corridor. The nurse who took me to my room afterward tried to comfort me by saying there've been worse incidents; she said that two years ago, a lady gave birth in the parking lot. That was me too. FML

by laprochainefoisjerestealamaison / 02/25/2013 at 2:47pm / France (Languedoc-Roussillon) / Health

Today, I started at my new job. The woman who I'll be working right next to 40 hours a week introduced herself with, "I know what your name is. I know what you're planning, and I've been sent to destroy you." FML

by ari / 02/18/2013 at 5:15pm / United States / Work

Today, my father gave me his blessing to be married on one condition: that I keep my maiden name when I marry. My fiancé thought it would be "epic". My last name will be hyphenated to Cobb-Webb. FML

by MsCobb / 02/16/2013 at 10:27am / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, I was walking down the street in the dark, and the woman in front of me kept looking back nervously. I jokingly assured her that I wasn't a mugger. She then took out a knife and mugged me. FML

by Anonymous / 02/13/2013 at 7:00pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Money

Today, I woke up on my boyfriend's bedroom floor. When I asked him why I was there, he said I'd gotten too hot, so he rolled me off his bed. I have the flu and a fever. FML

by Anonymous / 12/25/2012 at 11:56pm / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, I woke up to find my best friend lying down and unresponsive. Frightened, I tapped on the glass. He got scared and started swimming again. My best friend is a fish. FML

by Anonymous / 12/10/2012 at 5:40pm / Sweden (Vastmanlands Lan) / Animals

Today, I was visiting my daughter, whose husband was still asleep at noon. I made a point of stomping around on the hardwood floor and speaking loudly to wake his lazy ass up. Turns out he's now working a 14-hour graveyard shift, and it has no negative effect on his shoe-throwing skills. FML

by mom / 12/06/2012 at 2:23pm / Netherlands (Utrecht) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found a limp head of celery in the fridge. I thought it looked like the squid alien baby from Men in Black. After nursing it for a couple of hours, giving it food, and rocking it to sleep, my parents found me. Then I realised it was just celery. Too bad it took that long for my meds to kick in. FML

by Squid / 11/07/2012 at 12:11am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw a folder on my son's PC named "PussyPictures". I sat him down for a talk, only to be told they contained pictures of the James Bond character Pussy Galore, for his essay about sexism in movies. He's now mocking me for "having a dirty mind". FML

by Anonymous / 10/27/2012 at 3:28pm / Germany (Bayern) / Kids

Today, I walked into the kitchen at 5 am, to have my 7 and 9 year olds throw a bucket of water on me. To their surprise and horror, I didn't melt. FML

by Nickki / 10/14/2012 at 10:57am / United States / Kids

Today, I was babysitting a six year old girl, when I saw a huge spider on the wall. I screamed and told her to stay back. Instead, she walked up to the spider, squished it, and told me to stop being such a baby. FML

by Anonymous / 09/30/2012 at 1:57pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Kids

Today, while I was at work, a coworker began ranting about his theory that the government is going to create a disease that sterilises everyone, and use the antidote to control the population. I was just trying to take a crap in the stall next to him. FML

by Pooping / 08/29/2012 at 3:19pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Work

Today, I saw a large spider carry away the body of a dead spider in the bathroom. In my anthropology class, we learned one of the first signs of civilization is caring for the dead. First, they become civilized, and next, they take over. I will never sleep again. FML

by BloodFaerie / 06/30/2012 at 2:49am / United States (Georgia) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I discovered that when my professor had said "For every A there will be an F," he was deadly serious. I earned a 94% mark, which in this class is known as a D. FML

by dany / 05/26/2012 at 3:34pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that all the times I checked behind the shower curtain before peeing didn't prepare me for what to do if someone was actually there. FML

by Anonymous / 05/13/2012 at 11:12am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous