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sleaves

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sleaves

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 886
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About sleaves : I don't like people.

sleaves's page activity

Visits<b>iPixiee</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 6:02pm<b>plurplepenguin</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 12:00am<b>BunchieRules</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 6:39pm<b>kaffeeine</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 3:30am<b>alanamarieg</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 5:31pm<b>broohaha</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 11:57pm<b>phoneaddict13</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 4:35pm<b>metalhead4740</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 7:22pm<b>A_Dead_Fish32</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 1:48pm<b>diesel_power</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 7:26pm<b>Tobiaspe</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 2:11pm<b>Sweet_Visions</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 9:48am<b>aliceanon</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 11:31pm<b>GreenBeast</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 1:41pm<b>pinkshirtbadman</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 11:07am<b>inner_peace</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 11:22pm<b>Sjus</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 10:08pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 02/20/2014 at 4:23pm

sleaves's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of sleaves's badges

sleaves's favorite FMLs

Today, I was visiting my daughter, whose husband was still asleep at noon. I made a point of stomping around on the hardwood floor and speaking loudly to wake his lazy ass up. Turns out he's now working a 14-hour graveyard shift, and it has no negative effect on his shoe-throwing skills. FML

#20193830
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5490) - you deserved it (75988)

On 12/06/2012 at 2:23pm - misc - by mom (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I found a limp head of celery in the fridge. I thought it looked like the squid alien baby from Men in Black. After nursing it for a couple of hours, giving it food, and rocking it to sleep, my parents found me. Then I realised it was just celery. Too bad it took that long for my meds to kick in. FML

#20151986
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19729) - you deserved it (6389)

On 11/07/2012 at 12:11am - misc - by Squid (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I saw a folder on my son's PC named "PussyPictures". I sat him down for a talk, only to be told they contained pictures of the James Bond character Pussy Galore, for his essay about sexism in movies. He's now mocking me for "having a dirty mind". FML

#20135671
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9067) - you deserved it (32962)

On 10/27/2012 at 3:28pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, while walking on a nearly empty street, my friend dared me to slap a tall muscular chick on the butt and run away. I went and did it, but before I even had a chance to turn and run, she grabbed me, bent me over her knee and spanked me until I cried. My friend filmed it. FML

#20130842
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7023) - you deserved it (46807)

On 10/24/2012 at 1:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, for the second time, I met the man I'm having an arranged marriage with in 3 months. I'd previously met him last night, while he was mugging me. FML

#20120711
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38529) - you deserved it (2827)

On 10/17/2012 at 6:15am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I walked into the kitchen at 5 am, to have my 7 and 9 year olds throw a bucket of water on me. To their surprise and horror, I didn't melt. FML

#20116347
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22770) - you deserved it (3070)

On 10/14/2012 at 10:57am - kids - by Nickki - United States

Today, I was babysitting a six year old girl, when I saw a huge spider on the wall. I screamed and told her to stay back. Instead, she walked up to the spider, squished it, and told me to stop being such a baby. FML

#20095198
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10048) - you deserved it (26797)

On 09/30/2012 at 1:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, a guy I've been seeing for a while sent me a link to a porn site, with the message, "Holy fuck, isn't this your mom?!" Thinking he was joking around, I clicked the link just to see what sick shit he wanted to show me. It was my mom. FML

#20079475
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59621) - you deserved it (3065)

On 09/19/2012 at 4:41pm - intimacy - by identitychangeplease - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, while I was at work, a coworker began ranting about his theory that the government is going to create a disease that sterilises everyone, and use the antidote to control the population. I was just trying to take a crap in the stall next to him. FML

#20048023
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17140) - you deserved it (1525)

On 08/29/2012 at 3:19pm - work - by Pooping - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, everyone found out about the strange but intense fetish I have for women physically lifting me. It all came out when my friend, a female bodybuilder, decided to grab and pick me up for a laugh. I came in my pants, in front of about twenty people. FML

#19983416
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38414) - you deserved it (8195)

On 07/25/2012 at 12:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend's mother introduced me as his "friend". We've been together for 10 years. FML

#19947212
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27076) - you deserved it (2832)

On 07/16/2012 at 8:58pm - love - by lurna301 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I saw a large spider carry away the body of a dead spider in the bathroom. In my anthropology class, we learned one of the first signs of civilization is caring for the dead. First, they become civilized, and next, they take over. I will never sleep again. FML

Today, I walked in on my mother stroking my cat and murmuring, "Don't worry, kitty. One day, you and I... we will rule." FML

#19734981
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27109) - you deserved it (2842)

On 06/04/2012 at 8:54pm - animals - by Scared (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I discovered that when my professor had said "For every A there will be an F," he was deadly serious. I earned a 94% mark, which in this class is known as a D. FML

#19684129
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24241) - you deserved it (1758)

On 05/26/2012 at 3:34pm - misc - by dany - United States (Ohio)

Today, I realized that all the times I checked behind the shower curtain before peeing didn't prepare me for what to do if someone was actually there. FML

#19616275
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30367) - you deserved it (3570)

On 05/13/2012 at 11:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)



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