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sleaves

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sleaves

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1462
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About sleaves : I don't like people.

sleaves's page activity

Visits<b>iPixiee</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 6:02pm<b>plurplepenguin</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 12:00am<b>BunchieRules</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 6:39pm<b>kaffeeine</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 3:30am<b>alanamarieg</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 5:31pm<b>broohaha</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 11:57pm<b>phoneaddict13</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 4:35pm<b>metalhead4740</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 7:22pm<b>A_Dead_Fish32</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 1:48pm<b>diesel_power</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 7:26pm<b>Tobiaspe</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 2:11pm<b>Sweet_Visions</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 9:48am<b>aliceanon</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 11:31pm<b>GreenBeast</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 1:41pm<b>pinkshirtbadman</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 11:07am<b>inner_peace</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 11:22pm<b>Sjus</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 10:08pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 02/20/2014 at 4:23pm

sleaves's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of sleaves's badges

sleaves's favorite FMLs

Today, I found a limp head of celery in the fridge. I thought it looked like the squid alien baby from Men in Black. After nursing it for a couple of hours, giving it food, and rocking it to sleep, my parents found me. Then I realised it was just celery. Too bad it took that long for my meds to kick in. FML

#20151986
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19906) - you deserved it (6407)

On 11/07/2012 at 12:11am - misc - by Squid (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I saw a folder on my son's PC named "PussyPictures". I sat him down for a talk, only to be told they contained pictures of the James Bond character Pussy Galore, for his essay about sexism in movies. He's now mocking me for "having a dirty mind". FML

#20135671
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9943) - you deserved it (35041)

On 10/27/2012 at 3:28pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I walked into the kitchen at 5 am, to have my 7 and 9 year olds throw a bucket of water on me. To their surprise and horror, I didn't melt. FML

#20116347
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24999) - you deserved it (3309)

On 10/14/2012 at 10:57am - kids - by Nickki - United States

Today, I was babysitting a six year old girl, when I saw a huge spider on the wall. I screamed and told her to stay back. Instead, she walked up to the spider, squished it, and told me to stop being such a baby. FML

#20095198
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10123) - you deserved it (26946)

On 09/30/2012 at 1:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, while I was at work, a coworker began ranting about his theory that the government is going to create a disease that sterilises everyone, and use the antidote to control the population. I was just trying to take a crap in the stall next to him. FML

#20048023
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17273) - you deserved it (1533)

On 08/29/2012 at 3:19pm - work - by Pooping - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I saw a large spider carry away the body of a dead spider in the bathroom. In my anthropology class, we learned one of the first signs of civilization is caring for the dead. First, they become civilized, and next, they take over. I will never sleep again. FML

Today, I discovered that when my professor had said "For every A there will be an F," he was deadly serious. I earned a 94% mark, which in this class is known as a D. FML

#19684129
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26858) - you deserved it (1955)

On 05/26/2012 at 3:34pm - misc - by dany - United States (Ohio)

Today, I realized that all the times I checked behind the shower curtain before peeing didn't prepare me for what to do if someone was actually there. FML

#19616275
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30576) - you deserved it (3584)

On 05/13/2012 at 11:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my turtle, who had a little portion of the garden all to herself, died. My 5-year-old nephew wanted to "be like Mario" by jumping on her. FML

#19576176
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38122) - you deserved it (2485) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/05/2012 at 6:06am - kids - by Grindyloo -

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

#19463606
588 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14249) - you deserved it (56274) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, I was cleaning the windows at work and a guy walked in so I opened the door for him. After I opened the door, he stood there with his eyes closed and his arms open. I thought he wanted a hug so I hugged him. Apparently he wanted me to spray him with Windex. FML

#19409952
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20595) - you deserved it (2926)

On 04/05/2012 at 12:13am - work - by Kait - United States

Today, I invited a few of my co-workers over to play video games. Within an hour, my wife had gotten drunk, grabbed my controller, told me to "get back in the kitchen", and described to everyone in blood-chilling detail how she took her first boyfriend's virginity. FML

#18591891
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28922) - you deserved it (3442)

On 12/23/2011 at 7:26pm - misc - by ThinZ (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my landlord came to my apartment because of complaints from my neighbors, saying that animals are not allowed inside. Turns out my roommate makes cat-noises when she's bored. My landlord still doesn't believe me. FML

#18501899
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27825) - you deserved it (2132)

On 12/13/2011 at 8:57am - misc - by Anonymous - Norway (Sogn og Fjordane)

Today, I got into a car accident. The other party left the scene immediately after without exchanging insurance information. Deer can be so rude. FML

#18267814
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27088) - you deserved it (7987)

On 11/16/2011 at 9:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I got into a car accident. The other party left the scene immediately after without exchanging insurance information. Deer can be so rude. FML

#18267814
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27088) - you deserved it (7987)

On 11/16/2011 at 9:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)



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