About slayertack : Video games, metal and snowboarding.
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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
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You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
slayertack's favorite FMLs
by shyshy96679 / 06/20/2011 at 6:42pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/13/2011 at 9:08pm / United States (Colorado) / Health
by Username / 04/21/2011 at 2:30pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I painted a kids room at my new nanny job while the dad "helped" by staring at my ass and telling me how hard it is to position your "junk" correctly when wearing a speedo. First day on the job. FML
by Anonymous / 04/20/2011 at 9:39pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
Today, I was running late for school because I had a huge stomach ache. To save on time, I took a taxi. When the taxi driver hit a bump, I lost control of my bowels and shit myself. Not only do I have to wash my underwear in the sink at school now, but I had to pay the driver extra to remove the smell from his car. FML
by Username / 01/27/2011 at 12:40pm / Romania (Ilfov) / Miscellaneous
Today, while giving a brief presentation at work, I blanked out on what I was going to say. I tried to make a joke and tell them I'd had a brain fart, but all I managed to say was "I farted". Well, at least they all laughed. FML
Today, after doing a graveyard shift at work, I took the bus home. I fell asleep on the way and woke up 25 miles away from my bus stop. I took another bus heading back and couldn't stay awake. I then woke up where I started from. FML
by Around / 05/23/2010 at 3:29am / United States (Florida) / Work
Today, I was on a stationary bike at the gym. I got into a conversation with a very attractive female gym-friend. I felt something cool "down below". I looked down and saw one of my testicles had sneaked out of a hole in my shorts, I quickly looked up only to see her staring at the same thing. FML
by fatguyinalittlecoat / 12/08/2009 at 2:09pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
Today, at work we were gathered to be told some bad news. One of our colleagues would be taking indefinite leave because his wife had dropped their newborn baby. I accidentally laughed at the image. FML
by R / 10/28/2009 at 6:29pm / United Kingdom (Belfast) / Work
Today, I heard my dad screaming in the hallway. Thinking he was having a heart attack I ran to the hall without looking where I was going. I slipped and slid towards my dad in what turned out to be a mass quantity of diarrhea from one of my two dogs. He was screaming because he stepped in it. FML
by poopEVERYWHERE / 09/18/2009 at 10:27am / United States (Illinois) / Animals
Today, my mom drove me to football practice. On the way she told me that she thought I was gay and that my friend was my lover. After 15 agonizing minutes of this, we get to my practice only to be greeted by my shirtless friend wearing a pink bandana saying "Man, you hit me hard last night." FML
by Anonymous / 08/10/2009 at 3:10am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it I decided to whisper in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I hear behind me, "I am." FML
by unbelievable208 / 08/05/2009 at 1:28am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
Today, I passed a homeless person asking for change. When I politely apologized and told him I had none, he yelled angrily "who comes to this city without money?" I replied "apparently, you do." Wrong answer. He followed me, now screaming. FML
by re2K5 / 07/25/2009 at 12:39pm / Korea Republic of (Kyongsang-bukto) / Money
Today, I caught some perverts sitting in a car in front of my house, spying on my neighbors. When they refused to leave, I grabbed a baseball bat and they sped off in a hurry. Later, those same perverts came back to arrest my neighbors for drug trafficking. I had threatened cops. FML
by DaveAlmighty / 07/02/2009 at 3:22am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I was talking about Star Wars with some of my friends. When they started talking about how… Today, I'm sick. This wouldn't be such a problem if I wasn't leaving for college in three days, and… Today, it has been a week since I moved into my new house. Turns out that the previous owner of the…