Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

skyttlz

Search for a member

skyttlz
  • Town/Country : Up In Space, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7396
  • Number of comments : 795
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 50 posted

About skyttlz : Howdy. I'm 19 and I love FML! I read them almost every day, and I especially love reading the comments. Other than that I'm just a typical 19 year old. I'm an introvert so I find enjoyment in just hanging out in my room and finding something to do in my room. "I rarely get bored alone, I often get bored in crowds." I work part time at a pizza place and eventually I would like to be a chiropractor or physical therapist.

skyttlz's last visitors

CamuTheFirstHipsterPerSueTwo513IAmMe204Thorvald22WizzleMan17HeRoxKicksm22100Jazzy9999

skyttlz's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

See all of skyttlz's badges

skyttlz's favorite FMLs

Today, I was looking after my parents house and their wiener dog, and fell asleep on the couch. The dog climbed onto my shoulders and rested behind my head like a doggie neck pillow. All was great until she farted right in my left ear. FML

#5060
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16728) - you deserved it (6212)

On 02/01/2009 at 11:31pm - animals - by Noname - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was standing on a desk at work to run wiring in a suspended ceiling, since we have no ladder. My phone rang, I rushed to answer it, tripping and smashing my leg. It was my boss, calling to tell me he was bringing over a ladder. FML

#4954
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14285) - you deserved it (2447)

On 02/01/2009 at 7:11pm - work - by fonsui - United States (New York)

Today, my cat, who is very 'don't-ever-touch-me', jumped up next to me as if she wanted to be stroked. In reality, she wanted to share a hellish fart. I need a new cat. FML

#4464
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14663) - you deserved it (3717)

On 02/01/2009 at 3:55am - animals - by pretty princess - United States (Georgia)

Today, my little sister and I were reading a book together and out of nowhere, she said "I love you". My heart melted and I told her that I love her too. Then she told me that she was talking to her stuffed animal, not me. FML

#4425
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29037) - you deserved it (2405)

On 01/31/2009 at 11:29pm - kids - by Noname - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend snuck up behind me to cover my eyes and play "guess who." The second her hands touched my face, I grabbed her, twisted her wrists, and kneed her to the floor out of instinct. FML

#4288
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10226) - you deserved it (18863)

On 01/31/2009 at 6:14pm - misc - by joe - United States (California)

Today, I went to the doctor to talk about my depression and low self-esteem. He told me that I shouldn't think of myself as a fat pig for being overweight. I don't think that and I'm NOT overweight. FML

#3462
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20490) - you deserved it (2613)

On 01/29/2009 at 5:46pm - health - by Coley - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and accidentally called her Brad (one of my roomates name) when I came. Now her and her friends think i'm gay and my roomate Brad moved out. FML

#3435
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34500) - you deserved it (27577)

On 01/29/2009 at 4:44pm - intimacy - by GavinHosler - United States (Michigan)

Today, a guy sitting next to me in class asked me for a pen. I accidentally handed him a tampon instead. FML

#3375
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19608) - you deserved it (5653)

On 01/29/2009 at 12:55pm - misc - by iFail - United States (California)

Today, my nephew asked me how babies are made. I thought he'd had this chat with his mom, but I went in to it again. After a 20 minute 'discussion', he says "So what about the good stuff - get to the blowjobs and the lesbians." He's 11. FML

#3221
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23298) - you deserved it (2362)

On 01/28/2009 at 9:31pm - intimacy - by epistaxis - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I went to the gym to try to get into shape. I pulled a muscle taking my sweater off in the locker room. FML

#3193
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23121) - you deserved it (5374)

On 01/28/2009 at 7:30pm - misc - by j4y - Canada (Alberta)

Today, the girl who I have had a crush on for 2 years snuck up from behind me and gave me a hug. I farted very loud at the same exact time. FML

#3168
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27751) - you deserved it (3932)

On 01/28/2009 at 6:02pm - love - by john - United States (Kansas)

Today, I heard my mom moan in the other room. FML

#2727
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22456) - you deserved it (2218)

On 01/26/2009 at 6:44pm - misc - by glittercat - United States (Missouri)

Today, my dad learned how to use the parental controls. I now have an 11 o'clock curfew. I am 17. FML

#2670
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14984) - you deserved it (5026)

On 01/26/2009 at 12:38pm - misc - by dangyo - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got caught stealing lollies. I am 25. FML

#2620
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6053) - you deserved it (48905)

On 01/26/2009 at 8:28am - misc - by Timmy - Sent from mobile version

Today, I crapped in my pants and had to wait an hour of commuting till I could clean it up. What a sight and smell it was on the subway. Thank God I had sunglasses to wear. FML

#2443
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8487) - you deserved it (22223)

On 01/24/2009 at 1:56pm - love - by screwed - Chile (Region Metropolitana)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: