Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

skyttlz

Offline (4 hours ago) | Search for a member

skyttlz

34Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 26 August 1994 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 16302
  • Number of comments : 846
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 52 posted

About skyttlz : Hi. My name is Abigail and I'm 21 years old. I'm working part time at Domino's (fast food pizza), looking for a new job because I've been there almost 2 years and it's not what I want to do for life.

I love FML, Pinterest and YouTube. For the most part I have quit Facebook after being addicted for several years. I felt like I could be spending my time doing better things, plus there's always annoying people who disagree with me and try to argue, and I felt I was addicted and spent too much time on that site.

skyttlz's page activity

Visits<b>phoneaddict13</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 3:47pm<b>ARetardedSeal</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 6:36pm<b>914smv</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 10:51am<b>Princess_Eevee9</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 11:18pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 11:53am<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 6:16am<b>Sayeret_Matkal</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 10:57pm<b>ughlifesuck</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 3:02pm<b>helloimclaudia</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 3:17pm<b>FyeahPoet</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 2:49pm<b>GeorgiaBea</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 8:35pm<b>nicolai44</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 2:26pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 12/04/2015 at 12:36pm<b>O0hdear</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 5:05pm<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 10:01pm<b>Dynamite73</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 1:21pm<b>kemosabe4201</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 10:31pm<b>chrisbeaudoin</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 2:46pm

Fucked!<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 5:53pm<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 12:16pm<b>kyle_s_97</b> - the 11/12/2015 at 5:08pm<b>delfino1604</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 4:25pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 11:51pm<b>pokysmalls</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 9:03pm<b>keiNan</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 2:20am<b>dk1991</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 3:14pm<b>Mitchellbassists</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 1:37pm<b>patwo8</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 5:07am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 3:37pm<b>One_Way</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 5:25am<b>Mukuro</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 7:29pm<b>khoov19</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 1:20pm<b>knightofdarkness</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 5:17am<b>Steve95401</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 3:44am<b>therouni</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 8:23am<b>ThatllDoDonkey</b> - the 02/01/2015 at 3:13am

skyttlz's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of skyttlz's badges

skyttlz's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad gave me a promise ring on my one year anniversary with my boyfriend and made me swear I would wait til marriage. Four hours later he walked in on us having sex in my bedroom. FML

#400298
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52136) - you deserved it (258829)

On 03/16/2009 at 10:19pm - intimacy - by thiswouldhappen. - United States (Florida)

Today, I had a meeting with my super-hot TA. When I got to her office, she complimented me for being early, to which I thoughtfully replied "oh I usually come early." She laughed. FML

#379796
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56600) - you deserved it (33225)

On 03/16/2009 at 1:40pm - misc - by SmoothTalker (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was filling out paperwork with my new doctor. During the questionnaire, she asked if I was sexually active. I said yes. She then asked, "What do you do?" I told her I normally did vaginal, but sometimes anal. She blushed and started to laugh. She was asking where I worked. FML

Today, I was sitting in math class when I glanced over to the other side of the room and the hottest girl in the school is over there. I could see her thong so I instantly got a boner. About a minute later my teacher calls me up to the board to do a problem. I wore basketball shorts that day. FML

#333787
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81515) - you deserved it (41774)

On 03/15/2009 at 12:45am - intimacy - by 12incher (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I yelled at my spouse in front of 20 guests for not coming to blow out his birthday cake candles. Turns out he was in the other room, quietly changing his disabled friend's diaper. FML

#319539
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21331) - you deserved it (206739)

On 03/14/2009 at 11:16am - love - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I needed money to go to the movie. I asked my mom if I could reach in her purse and grab a few bucks. When I opened up her purse her phone started to vibrate. I yelled over to my mom that her phone was ringing. She said the phone was next to her. I looked in the purse. It was a vibrator. FML

#308282
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69286) - you deserved it (5095)

On 03/13/2009 at 7:04pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend because I saw him with another woman. I confronted both of them in screaming rage "What the fuck? Are you cheating on me with this ugly slut?" They were in shock. Turns out it was his cousin visiting from New Jersey, he was gonna introduce us at dinner. FML

#300498
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23272) - you deserved it (205177)

On 03/13/2009 at 9:18am - love - by nowthatsfcked (woman) - Canada

Today, my best friend set me up on a blind date with someone he said was very hot. I'm not exactly what you call fit, so I haven't been dating lately. As soon as I got to the restaurant, I spotted the girl. She looked me up and down, said, "You have GOT to be kidding me" and left. FML

#290842
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68828) - you deserved it (7349)

On 03/12/2009 at 8:38pm - love - by tomtomcutiepoof (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me. I was getting undressed to get into the shower. My cat looked at me after I'd undressed and then threw up all over the rug. FML

#287682
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (146744) - you deserved it (22136)

On 03/12/2009 at 6:08pm - animals - by Noname (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I fell asleep in the car on a 10+ hour trip with my family as soon as we got on the highway. When I woke up an hour later, I realized I'd had a wet dream. I had to sit next to my grandma with semen all over my thighs and boxers for the rest of the trip. FML

#278978
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77647) - you deserved it (11383)

On 03/11/2009 at 8:30pm - misc - by MoneyMike (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was masturbating into a sock when I felt something on my cock. I quickly ripped the sock off and threw it on the floor... and watched a huge spider come scurrying out. I just inadvertently fucked a spider. FML

#278783
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55997) - you deserved it (104013)

On 03/11/2009 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by SpiderMan (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, the cute boy in my biology class I had been crushing on invited me over to study for a huge test. Once I got to his house, I really had to use the bathroom. I ended ending up taking a huge dump and clogging up his toilet. He had to come plunge it for me. FML

#261901
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75273) - you deserved it (23579)

On 03/10/2009 at 4:42pm - love - by musicaddict (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was sitting in Science class and to my surprise I felt my pants suddenly becoming warm and wet. I looked behind me to see that 4 boys from my class had inserted a small funnel into my exposed buttcrack and where pouring the melted butter from the experiment into that area. FML

#260451
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (95453) - you deserved it (29112)

On 03/10/2009 at 1:13pm - misc - by Sarah - United Kingdom (Bolton)

Today, it was my birthday. My girlfriend bought me a Nickelback CD. FML

#259596
389 comments

I agree, your life sucks (89600) - you deserved it (28608)

On 03/10/2009 at 8:46am - misc - by deez_nutz (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, these kids in my math class told me to ask this girl if I could lick her clit. I basically yelled 'what's a clit'? Everyone looked at me. I'm a senior in high school, no one has yet to explain it to me. I had to google it when i got home. FML

#254280
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38493) - you deserved it (81620)

On 03/09/2009 at 7:29pm - intimacy - by danmarino (man) - United States (Rhode Island)



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: