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skyttlz

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skyttlz
  • Town/Country : Up In Space, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7399
  • Number of comments : 795
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 50 posted

About skyttlz : Howdy. I'm 19 and I love FML! I read them almost every day, and I especially love reading the comments. Other than that I'm just a typical 19 year old. I'm an introvert so I find enjoyment in just hanging out in my room and finding something to do in my room. "I rarely get bored alone, I often get bored in crowds." I work part time at a pizza place and eventually I would like to be a chiropractor or physical therapist.

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skyttlz's FML badges

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Judgmental

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skyttlz's favorite FMLs

Today, my parents staged an intervention because I ate a year's supply of noodles in 2 weeks. FML

Today, I was going so slow in traffic that my GPS asked me if I wanted to switch to pedestrian mode. FML

#20801861
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39338) - you deserved it (7203)

On 07/24/2013 at 9:31pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had to pull one of those toy stretchy hands out of my dog's butthole. It slapped me in the face when I finally got it out. FML

#20787584
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54790) - you deserved it (6482)

On 07/17/2013 at 12:48am - animals - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I had my driver's test in rural Maine. I hit a cow. FML

#20777070
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45840) - you deserved it (12852)

On 07/12/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, my five-year-old daughter called the police to report her stolen nose. FML

#20769088
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48957) - you deserved it (8617)

On 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm - kids - by nosestealer (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I Googled "How to act like an adult." I'm 37. FML

#20765003
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21640) - you deserved it (45763)

On 07/05/2013 at 11:16am - misc - by forever young (woman) - United States

Today, I had a job interview. All was going well until the interviewer asked me, "So, why should we hire you?" Without thinking, I blurted out, "Because, I'm awesome!" Don't think I'll be getting that one. FML

Today, I had to remove a glass bottle, complete with an ineffective pullstring, from a patient's rectum. He claimed that he'd accidentally sat on it, and later threatened to sue me for every penny if I breathed a word of it to anyone. Oops, looks like I just did. FML

#20752893
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47745) - you deserved it (5504)

On 06/28/2013 at 5:59pm - work - by DocKreso (man) - Croatia (Splitsko-Dalmatinska)

Today, someone came into the store I work at, laughed at my name on my name-tag, and left without even buying anything. FML

#20747987
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33624) - you deserved it (3111)

On 06/26/2013 at 5:07am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my 16-year-old son broke two of his fingers playing with Play-Doh. FML

#20735100
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42046) - you deserved it (4061)

On 06/19/2013 at 12:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my fiancé threatened to leave me for "bleeding too damn much." FML

#20726995
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42385) - you deserved it (3961)

On 06/15/2013 at 4:57am - love - by bloody - United States

Today, my uncle drove to my house in his tractor, beer in one hand, and a radio strapped to the dash blasting country music at unimaginable volume. Neither of us live on a farm. Half the neighborhood stood angrily glaring at us until we went inside. FML

#20684256
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33992) - you deserved it (3698)

On 05/24/2013 at 6:48pm - misc - by unwilling redneck - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate in the backseat of his car, when a police car pulled up behind us. My mom later told me that intimacy was fine, just not in a car. We were in the car because she told me that intimacy was fine, just not in her house. FML

#20677651
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47470) - you deserved it (10679)

On 05/21/2013 at 12:09pm - intimacy - by backseatbusted (woman) - United States

Today, I finally started exercising. I'm a rather obese person and I'm super pumped up to finally get off my lazy butt and lose some weight. Locking myself in my room, I first started with a very simple exercise: jumping jacks. I farted each time I jumped. I jumped 10 times. FML

#20640437
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43066) - you deserved it (10544)

On 05/04/2013 at 4:11am - health - by thatonesilentkidinclass (man) - Philippines (Batangas)

Today, I walked in on my 12-year-old daughter lying on her bed, repeatedly opening and closing her legs. I asked her what she was doing, and she replied, "Trying to queef. I saw it online." FML

#20605608
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52164) - you deserved it (6577)

On 04/19/2013 at 6:04pm - kids - by reyoflight (man) - Brazil (Rio de Janeiro)



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