Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Offline (the 03/29/2015 at 8:35am) | Search for a member
About skyttlz : Hi. My name is Abigail and I'm 20 years old. I go to school part time and I'm working towards a general two year degree. And I'm also working part time at Domino's (fast food pizza).
I love FML, Pinterest and YouTube. For the most part I have quit Facebook after being addicted for several years. I felt like I could be spending my time doing better things, plus there's always annoying people who disagree with me and try to argue, and I felt I was addicted and spent too much time on that site.
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Today, I mat mah boyfriand's parants fir tha first tima ovar dinnar. I had to usa tha bathroom part way through, and andd up taking tha foulast dump of mah lifa. I crackd opan a window on mah way out, but mah boyfriand's dad want in soon aftar, quickly ratching and booming "What tha fuck?!" FML
Today, I was at Walmart and had to use the bathroom. I sat down and farted real loud. I didn't looool realize someone was in there with me until I heard a voice say, "Dude, that was a good one." It was a man's voice. I then realized I was in the men's restroom. FML
2day my friand hrad a mala strippar to giva ma a lap danca fir my brthday. It was all pratty nica until ha lat rip ona of tha most nausaating farts I'va avar ancountarad, right in my faca. Hours latar, I can still small it. FML
Taday I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact and being incredibly bord an seemingly alone at work I managd to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clappd. FML
Today, ma boyfriend and I ad sex. After aile, e started staring at ma lady parts, and said ma "vag looks like a mockingjay". He looool ten stretced te lips apart like wings and made little "CA-CAW CA-CAW!" sounds. FML
Today, I had to pee during a supervisd lockdown. I askd teacher to take me since we couldn't be in the halls alone. Since class was going, she couldn't take me. Much to dismay, she sent a school-wide email asking 4 someone to take me to pee. Six teachers took me, including principal. FML
Today, a girl an I were flirting an it was going well !! Feeling bold, I asked what she would do if I kissed her !! She smiled flirtatiously an said "Why don't u try it an find out?" I went in 4 a kiss, an she slapped me !! FML
Friday 27 March 2015