skyqween

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skyqween

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 7 December 1990 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3819
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About skyqween : I'm in highschool, go to school a lot... Uh, lurk more than I post, yada yada

skyqween's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

skyqween's favorite FMLs

Today, my company filed for bankruptcy, but the reorganize kind where it still functions. There are no funds to give out paychecks any time soon. They won't fire me. If I voluntarily quit, I cannot file for unemployment. I'm now an unpaid intern. FML

by Anonymous / 05/22/2009 at 2:39pm / United States (Illinois) / Work

Today, as I was closing my car door, I realized I had left the keys in the ignition. Not wanting to lock myself out, I reached to stop the door from closing. Not only did I scream when the door slammed on my hand, but in my furious pain, I leaned on the door, locking my keys inside. FML

by Ouch / 05/22/2009 at 11:16am / United States (North Dakota) / Transportation

Today, I was running outside. On the last mile I am along side some fields. While running along the side of the road I glanced down and saw a snake. I was so startled I jumped left in front of a car screaming like a girl. The snake was dead. FML

by Anonymous / 05/22/2009 at 10:08am / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, I went dirtbiking. While I was going down a hill, I spun out of control and flipped over my handle bars. I now have a sprained arm, multiple bruises and a crescent-shaped gash on my neck that looks like I was bitten. People are asking if my boyfriend and I were being frisky last night. FML

by crash / 05/22/2009 at 12:39am / United States / Health

Today, while cleaning out a closet with my mother, I found a wish list from when I was five. On that list, I wished my parents would divorce. Not only did that seriously hurt my mom, but now she thinks I'm the devil because my wish came true. FML

by Anonymous / 05/21/2009 at 10:45pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at work at an office store. I was instructed to put together several tape-free cardboard boxes. I then realized that I can disassemble and reassemble a computer with my eyes closed and one hand behind my back, but I was outsmarted by a cardboard box. FML

by StellarSapience / 05/21/2009 at 9:18pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, after a night of drinking, I woke up with some chips in my bed. I thought it was funny so I went to tell my roommate. Her response was, "That's so funny! It's a typical night out for the two of us. I wake up the next morning with a boy in my bed and you wake up with food in yours." FML

by screwed / 05/21/2009 at 8:18pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death", otherwise known as my dildo. FML

by a / 05/21/2009 at 3:18pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Intimacy

Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death", otherwise known as my dildo. FML

by a / 05/21/2009 at 3:18pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Intimacy

Today, I was looking over some old notes from high school when I came across a list of things I wanted to accomplish by the time I'm 25. I haven't accomplished a single one. I'm 26. FML

by Anonymous / 05/21/2009 at 1:16pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up early to take my dog for a walk. I wore spandex shorts. I stopped to talk to several people I know and passed a group of hot construction workers who checked me out. I just got home and realized I have the biggest cameltoe I've ever seen in my life. FML

by Anonymous / 05/21/2009 at 12:41pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, my parents bought me a wine glass with "Who needs a man?" painted all over it. Cute, until after dinner my mom looked me in the eyes and asked with complete sincerity, "Kara, are you gay?" My parents tried to get me to come out. I'm straight. FML

by pa / 05/21/2009 at 9:06am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, we went out to dinner to a family restaurant, and I was wearing a skirt since it's so warm out. My 4 year old scooted under the table to sit next to his brother. When he popped up on the other side, he exclaimed, "Mommy! You forgot to put on your underwears!" People were staring. FML

by whoopsiedoodle / 05/21/2009 at 8:45am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I spent 3 hours making a birthday card for my boyfriend, delicately cutting each letter out of printed coloured paper. He used it as a coffee coaster. FML

by astraboy / 05/21/2009 at 5:11am / Australia (Queensland) / Love

Today, after a few drinks my dad decided to tell me the story of how I was born. He wanted a baby girl after my brother, and mum didn't want any more children. So he tricked her by giving her the wrong pill. That should explain a lot. FML

by verycre8tive / 05/21/2009 at 3:31am / Romania (Bucuresti) / Miscellaneous