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About skylitxrock : I'm not exciting.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was in a tour group going through a cave and our guide stopped, turned off the lights, and told us to be quiet so we could feel absolute silence. I farted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22557) - you deserved it (43429)
On 04/22/2009 at 3:10pm - misc - by fartmaster (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I saw a dime on the ground. When I bent down to pick it up, my $80 dollar pants ripped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26518) - you deserved it (45634)
On 04/11/2009 at 2:10am - misc - by ripped (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, brand new cocktail dress: $300. Matching peep toe heels: $100. Getting my hair done at the salon: $80. Treating myself to a mani/pedi: $50. When finally meeting the guy I have been chatting online with for 2 months, I find out hes my cousin: priceless. FML
I agree, your life sucks (122450) - you deserved it (40941)
On 04/10/2009 at 2:42pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was fooling around with someone I had met at a club, in my room. It got really heated, and I was really getting into this guy, until he lifts up my leg and asks "Can I lick your leg?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (47830) - you deserved it (16920)
On 04/10/2009 at 5:43am - intimacy - by cherry (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML
I agree, your life sucks (157420) - you deserved it (18690)
On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was on a cruise and fell asleep next to the pool. I had an intense dream that I had fallen off into the ocean. I rolled off my sun chair into the water and woke up screaming uncontrollably, I thought I was in the ocean. I was in the kiddy pool. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45287) - you deserved it (9301)
On 03/21/2009 at 8:06pm - misc - by nick (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (37638) - you deserved it (431087)
On 03/21/2009 at 12:46am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML
I agree, your life sucks (255636) - you deserved it (35247)
On 03/20/2009 at 12:15am - kids - by ScoobieDoo (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I decided to have sex for the first time with my boyfriend. It was his first time too. While in bed, he blankly stopped and stood up and got out a piece of paper from his pockets. Turns out, he had written instructions on what to do while in bed, and forgot what he had to do next. FML
I agree, your life sucks (99608) - you deserved it (8813)
On 03/19/2009 at 7:31pm - intimacy - by ufhdafuhds (woman) - Egypt (Al Qahirah)
Today, I was nude modeling for the first time for a life art class. The only criteria for the class was that I not move at all while being observed. After a few seconds I noticed a really hot girl drawing me. I got a hard on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64617) - you deserved it (21528)
On 03/18/2009 at 4:37pm - intimacy - by Opplyst11 - United States (Georgia)
Today, at the dinner table my parents were talking to my younger sister about her new boyfriend and how they should be taking it slow. My sister then pointed out that that's not what I do. My dad said, "Believe me I know- your sister's easier to get into than community college." FML
I agree, your life sucks (57323) - you deserved it (20184)
On 03/13/2009 at 4:54pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my friends and I were drinking boba. On the side of the cup it said "Please drink carefully to avoid choking on the Boba". I started to laugh at the ridiculousness of the label, and choked on the boba in a coughing fit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9694) - you deserved it (51963)
On 03/13/2009 at 12:24am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me. I was getting undressed to get into the shower. My cat looked at me after I'd undressed and then threw up all over the rug. FML
I agree, your life sucks (99557) - you deserved it (13465)
On 03/12/2009 at 6:08pm - animals - by Noname (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35965) - you deserved it (225426)
On 03/12/2009 at 5:30am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)
Today, I was eating lunch naked at my home watching porn on the big screen. I heard the garage door opening meaning my roommate was coming home. In my haste to get dressed, I fell back in the barstool I was sitting in and knocked myself out. I woke up still naked and with lettuce all over me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18534) - you deserved it (61026)
On 03/11/2009 at 8:26pm - intimacy - by HansonLUVR (man) - United States (Florida)
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