Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

skyeyez9

Offline (the 06/28/2015 at 12:14am) | Search for a member

skyeyez9

12Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 16383
  • Number of comments : 4253
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 15 posted

About skyeyez9 : I like to go snowboarding, skiing, reading, swimming, hiking. Crocheting (amigurumi), recreational shooting, and play xbox
Gamer tag is Sparrow1978.

skyeyez9's page activity

Visits<b>paigexox0</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 3:11am<b>hullarms</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 1:00am<b>raven83</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 12:41pm<b>private_browsing</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 1:33am<b>Kamorka</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 10:29pm<b>Nicky816</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 8:59pm<b>liquifiednate</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 6:40pm<b>Aquamarine9</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 1:09pm<b>IamAngryCoffee</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 4:17am<b>heyimgeorge</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 12:59am<b>UserOfTheMind</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 6:32pm<b>Kidjazzin</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 3:59pm<b>illegalbeagle69</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 1:18am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 7:29am<b>duhitisme</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 12:31am<b>bchin1220</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 7:24pm<b>melons</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 7:10pm<b>jsb1426</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 5:00am

Fucked!<b>Chanti</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 2:16am<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 1:48am<b>WaltzingPhantom</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 4:48pm<b>D_Word_Head</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 5:43am<b>dakatabg</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 8:50pm<b>minecraftguy333</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 3:04am<b>watermelon15</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 12:00am<b>OhWhoCares</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 5:39am<b>mypineapple</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 8:03am<b>normal_shy_kid</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 1:02am<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 6:39pm

skyeyez9's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of skyeyez9's badges

skyeyez9's favorite FMLs

Today, while I was working out, I was listening to music with my earbuds in. The Pokémon theme started playing and I begun singing along. It wasn't too long after that I remembered I was in a crowded gym on a military base. FML

#20940589
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37477) - you deserved it (10676)

On 10/31/2013 at 7:18pm - misc - by GymBattle (man) - United States

Today, I reminded my husband that I was on my period, so he wouldn't try to fool around with me. A few hours later, his goldfish-like memory kicked in and he stuck his hand down my pants while we were going to bed. I was wearing a maxi pad. FML

#20935542
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53754) - you deserved it (5369)

On 10/27/2013 at 11:26am - intimacy - by SharkWeek (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I invited my boyfriend over to meet my new puppy. My dog decided to take a dump on his lap. He is now not talking to me because he thinks I trained my dog to do that. FML

#20934961
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38799) - you deserved it (4140)

On 10/26/2013 at 9:23pm - animals - by Puppy problems - United States (Vermont)

Today, my son came home for the fifth time saying he didn't get the job, wondering what he did wrong. I looked at his resumé; under special skills was, "Keeping it real." Apparently he saw it in a movie and thought it would work. FML

#20928390
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41370) - you deserved it (5070)

On 10/21/2013 at 12:18am - kids - by Wheredigowrong - United States (Iowa)

Today, a few of my friends arranged for us to go skinny-dipping with the guy I really like. It went really well, until a turd surfaced before our eyes. After we scrambled out of the pool in panic, my crush called us all freaks and left. FML

#20927673
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40999) - you deserved it (5507)

On 10/20/2013 at 3:56pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my brother sent me an image by Skype, saying I really had to see it. I figured it was some kind of stupid joke, but I tried to look anyway. It wouldn't open. Turns out he thought he could just rename the ".exe" on a virus to ".jpg" and it would still run. My brother's a cretin. FML

#20926554
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38749) - you deserved it (3649)

On 10/19/2013 at 4:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after recently complaining that the reality show "The Great Norway Adventure" portrays us as a country of nationalistic rednecks, I saw my drunk dad chasing my uncle on a tractor while bellowing the national anthem at the top of his lungs. FML

#20926483
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43769) - you deserved it (4785)

On 10/19/2013 at 3:37pm - misc - by overly nationalistic redneck (woman) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I found out my handwriting is so bad that people think I write in Arabic. FML

#20922701
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43533) - you deserved it (9716)

On 10/16/2013 at 1:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I started to come to during dental surgery. I clearly heard someone behind me say "Shit! Get this fucker back under!" then another person mentioning they'd have to kill me to avoid "another lawsuit", followed by laughter and the blackness of sleep. FML

#20909921
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59208) - you deserved it (3546)

On 10/06/2013 at 5:49pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband yelled from upstairs, "Babe! BABE, COME QUICK!" Terrified that something might have happened to our newborn daughter, I rushed up, only to find out he just wanted to show me that he'd learned how to spin a top on the tip of his penis without it falling. FML

#20908628
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50509) - you deserved it (6819)

On 10/05/2013 at 5:28pm - intimacy - by -____- (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, in a fit of jealousy over my recent muscle growth, my brother told our mom that I've only been going to the gym so I could smoke weed with my friends. She believed him and grounded me. FML

#20899473
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41834) - you deserved it (2676)

On 09/28/2013 at 5:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I found out this girl I had sex with lied to me. They weren't razor burn bumps. And I now have them. FML

#20898893
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58745) - you deserved it (37523)

On 09/28/2013 at 7:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I went to a really important job interview. During it, I accidentally let out a burp, came down with nervous hiccups, and when I tried to quietly ease out some painful gas that was building up, it came out as a massive, rancid fart. I'll definitely be unemployed for a while yet. FML

#20898243
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42342) - you deserved it (9594)

On 09/27/2013 at 5:33pm - work - by ;_;" (woman) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)

Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML

#20898150
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51361) - you deserved it (6690)

On 09/27/2013 at 4:00pm - kids - by SerenityJ (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my ex-wife put my number on Craigslist as a gay fashion designer needing a one night stand. I only found out when I got a text from an unknown number asking me when was the last time I "ate a black anaconda". FML

#20894419
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53020) - you deserved it (5076)

On 09/24/2013 at 2:12pm - intimacy - by Craigslist is Evil. - United States (Tennessee)



FML's blog

  • Angie's illustrated FML
  • Here we go again. This week I'm talking to you live from the Paris Japan Expo. I'm dressed up as Bernard from the Sailor Moon series, and I almost got kicked out because my katana wasn't the…

Friday 3 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: