Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

skyeyez9

Search for a member

skyeyez9

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 11822
  • Number of comments : 4121
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 15 posted

About skyeyez9 : I like to go snowboarding, skiing, reading, swimming, hiking. Crocheting (amigurumi), recreational shooting, and play xbox
Gamer tag is Sparrow1978.

skyeyez9's page activity

Visits<b>kelsorg</b> - yesterday at 1:08am<b>BellaMuerte666</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 7:04pm<b>Malicejane</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 6:03pm<b>TdotMaria</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 11:59am<b>Miss_Brii</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 4:04am<b>savery</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 2:13pm<b>1tsmenoah</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 1:42pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 12:47pm<b>PB_Crocodile</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 2:20am<b>Nicky816</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 5:16pm<b>Wump</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 3:32pm<b>billionair11</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 4:28pm<b>MsJewelable</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 1:14am<b>DylanHasClass</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 11:11pm<b>JesusFreak227</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 4:33pm<b>DeathScythe24</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 12:03pm<b>wvni</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 10:44pm<b>RollerCoasterLif</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 4:37pm

skyeyez9's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of skyeyez9's badges

skyeyez9's favorite FMLs

Today, after 8 months of being belittled and treated like trash at my job as a prep cook in a high-end kitchen, I stood up for myself to the line cooks. Not only did everyone laugh at me, I got fired for causing a scene during service and insubordination. FML

#20869973
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36037) - you deserved it (8878)

On 09/06/2013 at 7:45am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)

Today, I couldn't sleep due to an awful head cold, so I stayed home from work. Apparently, the local high school marching band practices in the park across the street at 9am. They're doing the Imperial March music from Star Wars. They suck. FML

#20867437
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39644) - you deserved it (3083)

On 09/04/2013 at 12:24pm - misc - by lostinspace (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, we went boating with friends. For some reason the bottom of our tube deflated, causing me to be bounced roughly up and down on the water. As a result, I had the most intense orgasm of my entire life, while sitting 2 inches away from my dad's friend. He definitely noticed. FML

#20862305
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56064) - you deserved it (5978)

On 08/31/2013 at 9:21pm - intimacy - by SplishSplash (woman) - United States

Today, I went skinny-dipping with my friends. At one point, I jokingly pointed out how one of them had the smallest boobs of us all. She calmly got out of the pond, dried herself, scooped up our clothes and phones, and drove off in her car. The cops she called arrived soon after. FML

#20861665
307 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22030) - you deserved it (64828)

On 08/31/2013 at 12:25pm - misc - by criminal tit offender - United States (Alabama)

Today, while I was sleeping, apparently I rolled over towards my fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML

#20861263
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42940) - you deserved it (7327)

On 08/31/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by fartz (woman) - United States

Today, I suggestively asked my boyfriend to take a shower with me. He got in, washed himself, and got out, ignoring me the whole time. FML

#20852722
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49646) - you deserved it (7201)

On 08/24/2013 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by -.- - United States

Today, I got sexual tingles while watching a Subway worker assemble my sandwich. FML

#20846728
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44978) - you deserved it (10550)

On 08/20/2013 at 6:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, when I got back to my dorm, I found a trail of ants trying to shove a dead roach into a power outlet. The front desk insists that there is no pest problem. FML

#20846099
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41457) - you deserved it (2346)

On 08/20/2013 at 8:54am - animals - by TheRoad42 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my spouse asked me if I could transfer some of the passion I have for buffalo wings into our relationship. FML

Today, I accidentally hit an elderly man while driving. The police came, and five minutes later I was told that he confessed to walking in the middle of the road to get hit and claim compensation. He was fine, but I still got charged for hitting a pedestrian. FML

#20843576
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39701) - you deserved it (4405)

On 08/18/2013 at 7:23pm - misc - by FMLdude - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after an argument with my wife, I stormed out of our bedroom through the sliding doors to the balcony. Only there was no balcony, because it still hasn't been replaced yet. I'm now laid-up in hospital. FML

#20843350
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38169) - you deserved it (15031)

On 08/18/2013 at 4:13pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz)

Today, I attended the reading of my grandfather's last will and testament. My parents, as well as my brothers and sister, all inherited a nice sum of money. I got 69 cents, because "young Jack always was an immature little shit." FML

#20840692
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46812) - you deserved it (19339)

On 08/16/2013 at 6:21pm - money - by JacksWag4 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was verbally abused by a customer at my job. Apparently, wearing "ugly, thick-framed hipster glasses as a fashion statement is a HUGE faux pas." These are my actual prescription glasses, and "faux pas" is not pronounced "fox paws". FML

#20840053
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42276) - you deserved it (3267)

On 08/16/2013 at 7:08am - misc - by hipster glasses - United States

Today, I watched TV in the early morning. I was watching The Ring, and when the scene came on where the girl is crawling out of the TV, my dad grabbed my shoulders from behind me out of nowhere, causing me to shriek like a little bitch. I don't know how long he waited to do that. FML

#20838885
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42725) - you deserved it (7701)

On 08/15/2013 at 3:56pm - misc - by insomniac x2 (woman) - Mexico (Nuevo Leon)

Today, for the first time in my life, I simultaneously sneezed, peed and farted. I was giving a presentation at work when this happened. FML

#20838395
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51308) - you deserved it (3673)

On 08/15/2013 at 5:47am - work - by bglenney - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: