skyeyez9

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Offline (the 06/13/2016 at 4:34am)

skyeyez9

19Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 19611
  • Number of comments : 4275
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 15 posted

About skyeyez9 : I like to go snowboarding, skiing, reading, swimming, hiking. Crocheting (amigurumi), recreational shooting, and play xbox
Gamer tag is Sparrow1978.

skyeyez9's page activity

Visits<b>LashBackX</b> - the 07/25/2016 at 6:10pm<b>arsh_fz</b> - the 07/02/2016 at 1:38am<b>MalignantSpirit</b> - the 06/24/2016 at 8:34pm<b>justindrew14</b> - the 06/23/2016 at 1:40am<b>BlackHawkSavior</b> - the 06/12/2016 at 11:34am<b>raven83</b> - the 06/08/2016 at 10:09am<b>BIONIC859</b> - the 06/05/2016 at 4:40pm<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 06/04/2016 at 8:47pm<b>Sampe101</b> - the 06/03/2016 at 2:33pm<b>anormalperson</b> - the 06/01/2016 at 2:53am<b>Scrambled</b> - the 05/27/2016 at 10:29pm<b>Joshawott14</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 12:23pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 8:20am<b>ThePerry</b> - the 05/11/2016 at 10:55pm<b>Siorghra</b> - the 05/11/2016 at 9:53pm<b>ScratchCatPower</b> - the 05/10/2016 at 8:17pm<b>angie4</b> - the 05/03/2016 at 10:54pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 05/02/2016 at 12:57pm

Fucked!<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 06/05/2016 at 2:47am<b>LaurenBies152</b> - the 03/30/2016 at 5:41am<b>orios105</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 2:32am<b>HowlingFire</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 12:46am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 10/30/2015 at 12:07am<b>Melanie_marii</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 10:07am<b>Chanti</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 2:16am<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 1:48am<b>WaltzingPhantom</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 4:48pm<b>D_Word_Head</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 5:43am<b>dakatabg</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 8:50pm<b>minecraftguy333</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 3:04am<b>watermelon15</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 12:00am<b>OhWhoCares</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 5:39am<b>mypineapple</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 8:03am<b>normal_shy_kid</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 1:02am<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 6:39pm

skyeyez9's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of skyeyez9's badges

skyeyez9's favorite FMLs

Today, I was sitting in my school's crowded auditorium. When our single, abstinence-only ballsack of a Sex Ed teacher was announced to be stepping down due to being pregnant, I burst into uncontrollable laughter. My reward was aching sides and a week of detention. FML

by Anonymous / 03/15/2012 at 9:31pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her huge, ex-Marine father took me out back, saying he wanted to show me something. That something was a machete. He savagely buried it in a tree stump and said, "Son, if you break my daughter's heart, that'll be your dick." FML

by PUA / 03/14/2012 at 9:06pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, after months of teaching my parrot to speak, he finally demonstrated his abilities. I accidentally set off my smoke detector, and he's been wailing like a dying banshee ever since. FML

by weep weep weep / 03/11/2012 at 11:04pm / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, I was humming the Star Wars theme song while on the bus. When my stop came I walked down the aisle only to hear a girl mutter, "The virginity is strong in this one." She's right. FML

by starboy / 03/10/2012 at 1:50am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to patiently listen as a customer nattered on and on about how incompetent I was for not stocking the movie she was looking for. It took nearly 20 minutes to get her to calm down long enough for me to explain that there is no such movie as "Hobbits With Shotguns". FML

by Anonymous / 03/09/2012 at 5:36pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to patiently listen as a customer nattered on and on about how incompetent I was for not stocking the movie she was looking for. It took nearly 20 minutes to get her to calm down long enough for me to explain that there is no such movie as "Hobbits With Shotguns". FML

by Anonymous / 03/09/2012 at 5:36pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to patiently listen as a customer nattered on and on about how incompetent I was for not stocking the movie she was looking for. It took nearly 20 minutes to get her to calm down long enough for me to explain that there is no such movie as "Hobbits With Shotguns". FML

by Anonymous / 03/09/2012 at 5:36pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to patiently listen as a customer nattered on and on about how incompetent I was for not stocking the movie she was looking for. It took nearly 20 minutes to get her to calm down long enough for me to explain that there is no such movie as "Hobbits With Shotguns". FML

by Anonymous / 03/09/2012 at 5:36pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I went swimming in a pond. I came out covered in leeches. Terrified, I screamed, flailed about and cried out for help until half a dozen people ran over. One of them was kind enough to point out that those leeches I was so afraid of were actually patches of mud. FML

by asdfBUTT / 03/05/2012 at 8:36pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was suffering from a persistant, irritating itch on my butthole. Worried, I took a picture with my iPhone to get an idea of what was causing said itch. I never found the source, but my Mum and grandmother did, on the iPad. Thanks, Photo Stream. FML

by Buttscratcher / 03/03/2012 at 11:12am / United Kingdom / Health

Today, I was having a pleasant jog, that is until I was struck by the terrible feeling of an oncoming turd. Being only about 20 minutes from home, I thought I could make it back without letting the beast out. I was so wrong. The only thing I'm grateful for is that I was carrying the Sunday paper. FML

by fingerhut / 03/03/2012 at 3:27am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I vacuumed my car as I'm trying to sell it. After the interior was clean, I sprayed some air freshener. The chosen smell was "new car". I think they mislabeled it, as my car now smells like urinal cakes. I have two potential buyers coming tomorrow. FML

by Urinal Fresh / 03/02/2012 at 5:19am / Australia (New South Wales) / Transportation

Today, I realized I've never had sex with someone who was sober at the time. FML

by ShitFaced / 03/01/2012 at 6:35am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, after suffering with bad constipation and having to eat special bread to get me to go, I have practically just pooped out a week's worth of food in 15 minutes, and I'm still going. I've passed the ring of fire stage, now I just can't feel my asshole. FML

by awhmaaan / 02/27/2012 at 10:55am / United Kingdom / Health

Today, my dog managed to pull a one-pound package of raw bacon out and eat the entire package including the cardboard. The vets cheered when they finally got him to puke up the entire, unchewed package of bacon. FML