Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

skyeyez9

Online | Search for a member

skyeyez9

2Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 13218
  • Number of comments : 4198
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 15 posted

About skyeyez9 : I like to go snowboarding, skiing, reading, swimming, hiking. Crocheting (amigurumi), recreational shooting, and play xbox
Gamer tag is Sparrow1978.

skyeyez9's page activity

Visits<b>mind_geek</b> - 9 hours ago<b>Snugmybaby95</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 5:10pm<b>jrod9327</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 8:28am<b>FallenBaphomet</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 5:55pm<b>Machified</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 1:52am<b>sisas</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 4:11am<b>annihil8or</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 12:46am<b>DeltaDragonxx</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 10:18pm<b>drayloon</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 2:37am<b>vincent123</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 11:00am<b>vanessa_tranz</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 11:54pm<b>fmlgiraffe</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 12:20am<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 4:59pm<b>stargazer091</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 1:16pm<b>akorpija</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 4:37pm<b>johnboy465</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 2:19pm<b>LordGrew</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 2:47am<b>mrbear235</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 7:38pm

Liked!<b>normal_shy_kid</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 1:02am<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 6:39pm

skyeyez9's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of skyeyez9's badges

skyeyez9's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized I've never had sex with someone who was sober at the time. FML

#19194281
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22559) - you deserved it (18938)

On 03/01/2012 at 6:35am - intimacy - by ShitFaced (man) - United States (New York)

Today, after suffering with bad constipation and having to eat special bread to get me to go, I have practically just pooped out a week's worth of food in 15 minutes, and I'm still going. I've passed the ring of fire stage, now I just can't feel my asshole. FML

#19174199
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35078) - you deserved it (5315)

On 02/27/2012 at 10:55am - health - by awhmaaan - United Kingdom

Today, my dog managed to pull a one-pound package of raw bacon out and eat the entire package including the cardboard. The vets cheered when they finally got him to puke up the entire, unchewed package of bacon. FML

Today, while working as a police dispatcher, I took a call for a motorcycle accident that occurred near my house. After obtaining all the essential information I realized the rider was my brother. He doesn't own a motorcycle, but I do. FML

#19157991
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30504) - you deserved it (2168)

On 02/25/2012 at 12:36am - misc - by Samm Povich - United States

Today, I dolled myself up and hit the campus gym, hoping to leave with a cute boy's number. I left in a stretcher. FML

#19155355
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10391) - you deserved it (27630)

On 02/24/2012 at 6:01pm - health - by gabby - United States (Texas)

Today, I was so broke and hungry that I went to Olive Garden and faked being stood up, just so I could eat their breadsticks. FML

#19101207
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36091) - you deserved it (5579)

On 02/17/2012 at 4:10pm - misc - by 97 (woman) - United States

Today, I dropped my bag to run after my two year old who had bolted in the parking lot. Once he was in his seat, I got in and drove away. I felt two large thumps as I drove over my own iPad, cellphone and wallet. FML

#19093347
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27628) - you deserved it (13262)

On 02/16/2012 at 1:36pm - kids - by ray - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I discovered how startling it is to wake up by having your cat springboard off your face. The intended prey? Two fornicating geckos on the ceiling. FML

Today, after applying for a job at the local pet store, I picked up a ferret. It began licking my cheek, causing me to turn my head. It then latched onto my ear and hung like a giant furry hoop earring. I screamed, then quietly left the building. FML

#19091480
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19976) - you deserved it (4120)

On 02/16/2012 at 2:43am - animals - by parkertownparadise (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, Target asked me if I would do the closing announcement. I've only been working there a little while, so excited I agreed. I told people, "The store is now closing, thank you for shopping at Walmart." FML

#19088946
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15798) - you deserved it (29166)

On 02/15/2012 at 9:03pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, while I was at work, my boyfriend decided to give my Cocker Spaniel a haircut. I now have the equivalent of an over-sized naked mole rat running around my house. FML

#19083975
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20101) - you deserved it (2526)

On 02/15/2012 at 6:09am - animals - by workaholic (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I received a cute letter in my locker. It was in German, so I used Google translate. Apparently, someone hopes I choke on big fat cock. FML

#19078471
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28303) - you deserved it (3044)

On 02/14/2012 at 7:35pm - intimacy - by kittens go meow - United States (Georgia)

Today, I received a cute letter in my locker. It was in German, so I used Google translate. Apparently, someone hopes I choke on big fat cock. FML

#19078471
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28303) - you deserved it (3044)

On 02/14/2012 at 7:35pm - intimacy - by kittens go meow - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had to chase my naked brothers around my house for twenty minutes, trying to get them to take a bath, all while they were chasing my best friend around yelling, "IT'S WIENER TIME!" FML

#19076647
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23925) - you deserved it (2467)

On 02/14/2012 at 5:29pm - kids - by ShylaMarie - Canada

Today, my misanthropic malcontent of a son smashed my air freshener and turned my faulty lava lamp on in a twisted act of rebellion. The bottom of the lamp broke and got wax everywhere. My room now smells like cinnamon, with a hint of freshly embalmed corpse. FML

#19066178
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20679) - you deserved it (4155)

On 02/13/2012 at 4:31pm - kids - by Username - India



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: