Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

skyeyez9

Offline (14 hours ago) | Search for a member

skyeyez9

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 12057
  • Number of comments : 4146
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 15 posted

About skyeyez9 : I like to go snowboarding, skiing, reading, swimming, hiking. Crocheting (amigurumi), recreational shooting, and play xbox
Gamer tag is Sparrow1978.

skyeyez9's page activity

Visits<b>skyttlz</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 2:15am<b>ClawedMatrix</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 12:04am<b>tayymeds</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 8:42pm<b>Maria_BVB_Army</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 8:33pm<b>itsalise</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 3:51pm<b>xxrogerthatxx</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 2:49pm<b>rylaii</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 5:06am<b>awesomeamandas</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 12:41am<b>wvni</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 8:33pm<b>LeashaJoy5595</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 3:23pm<b>Dany93</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 12:23pm<b>quiet_storm09</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 12:08pm<b>radj</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 11:08pm<b>Elleb3ar</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 6:58am<b>buonotomato</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 3:20am<b>Toughsky</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 8:06pm<b>Crazc</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 7:17pm<b>ositoakaluis</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 4:44pm

skyeyez9's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of skyeyez9's badges

skyeyez9's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to chase my naked brothers around my house for twenty minutes, trying to get them to take a bath, all while they were chasing my best friend around yelling, "IT'S WIENER TIME!" FML

#19076647
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23805) - you deserved it (2458)

On 02/14/2012 at 5:29pm - kids - by ShylaMarie - Canada

Today, my misanthropic malcontent of a son smashed my air freshener and turned my faulty lava lamp on in a twisted act of rebellion. The bottom of the lamp broke and got wax everywhere. My room now smells like cinnamon, with a hint of freshly embalmed corpse. FML

#19066178
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20569) - you deserved it (4145)

On 02/13/2012 at 4:31pm - kids - by Username - India

Today, even though she can barely deal with raising kids, my 19-year-old sister announced her fourth pregnancy, by a fourth man, of yet another race. Why? Because she wants to "be like Angelina Jolie." I fear that social services may laugh at me if I tell them. FML

#19059341
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36347) - you deserved it (2650)

On 02/12/2012 at 7:18pm - kids - by amythest - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, I was taking a dump in a public toilet, when a guy in the next stall started drunkenly rapping. He kept trying to get me to rap along with him, eventually bashing the wall and threatening to bust my face in if I didn't. I soon found out I can rap to Slob On My Knob pretty well. FML

#19043614
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24410) - you deserved it (2577)

On 02/10/2012 at 8:02pm - misc - by rapper in training (man) - United States

Today, I had a technical skill test as a nurse. My objective was to help the patient defecate, but my opening sentence came out as: "Hello, I'm Jan. I'm here to help you take a shit." FML

#19030539
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20572) - you deserved it (9291)

On 02/08/2012 at 10:24pm - work - by Silver_Samurai (man) - Netherlands

Today, I received a single, hand-made Valentine's card from the weirdest kid in the school. It said, "If you ever get mauled by a bear, I hope he doesn't damage your face." FML

#18988741
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25774) - you deserved it (5011)

On 02/04/2012 at 12:12am - love - by Jayde - United States (Texas)

Today, my school's 6'2, 270-pound, 375-pound bench-pressing football superstar knocked me unconscious in one hit. With a dodgeball. FML

#18844690
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30022) - you deserved it (3307)

On 01/18/2012 at 2:57pm - health - by Shameful (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was on the train listening to my iPod on shuffle. The "Oompa Loompa" song came on, and slightly amused, I started humming it. It wasn't until I noticed that the man next to me was a midget that I understood the horrified looks I was getting. FML

#18716043
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32625) - you deserved it (9076)

On 01/05/2012 at 1:39pm - misc - by lorahayes (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I caught my mother attempting to write a $1400 cheque. To whom? The proprietor of a "Christian charity fund" with whom she had been having Internet conversations. The proprietor's name, and that on the cheque, was "Herp McDerpington". FML

#18540980
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30895) - you deserved it (2395)

On 12/18/2011 at 12:18am - misc - by scammed - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting a historical war bunker when I accidentally let rip a small fart. My boyfriend responded with a horribly loud, horrendous fart, and loudly announced, "This is war." There were people, lots of people. FML

#18374141
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28556) - you deserved it (8611)

On 11/28/2011 at 7:34am - misc - by Dani - Reserved

Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting a historical war bunker when I accidentally let rip a small fart. My boyfriend responded with a horribly loud, horrendous fart, and loudly announced, "This is war." There were people, lots of people. FML

#18374141
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28556) - you deserved it (8611)

On 11/28/2011 at 7:34am - misc - by Dani - Reserved

Today, my girlfriend of two years broke up with me because her father, who abandoned her before she was born and just reentered her life, doesn't approve. FML

#18354062
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34540) - you deserved it (2022)

On 11/26/2011 at 3:16am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML

#18312960
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34246) - you deserved it (6017)

On 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm - animals - by furryballoon (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was napping. I woke up to my pillow making some sounds. Thinking it was my head shifting my pillow, I went back to sleep. Later on I woke up to the sounds again, and a mouse staring at my face. FML

#18070183
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27600) - you deserved it (3026)

On 10/25/2011 at 3:17am - animals - by pinkjade - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, working as an EMT on an ambulance, we had a patient who refused to accept that he had a massive GI bleed, despite the fact that bloody stool was flowing from his anus all over my ambulance. To make things worse, my EMT ride-along student puked all over the patient. FML

#18069219
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27502) - you deserved it (1863)

On 10/25/2011 at 12:30am - work - by fire1 (man) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: