skyeyez9

Search for a member

Offline (yesterday at 7:09pm)

skyeyez9

23Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 20453
  • Number of comments : 4275
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 15 posted

About skyeyez9 : I like to go snowboarding, skiing, reading, swimming, hiking. Crocheting (amigurumi), recreational shooting, and play xbox
Gamer tag is Sparrow1978.

skyeyez9's page activity

Visits<b>Franck045</b> - the 09/17/2016 at 12:53pm<b>Trainn</b> - the 09/16/2016 at 2:46am<b>rajnidevraj1996</b> - the 09/12/2016 at 12:42am<b>thundercrow1999</b> - the 08/31/2016 at 12:00am<b>TheGreastest</b> - the 08/23/2016 at 5:32pm<b>honeybee66</b> - the 08/22/2016 at 10:57pm<b>French_giirl</b> - the 08/19/2016 at 3:52pm<b>PtCaboose</b> - the 08/02/2016 at 10:30pm<b>CJ77</b> - the 07/30/2016 at 6:47pm<b>LashBackX</b> - the 07/25/2016 at 6:10pm<b>arsh_fz</b> - the 07/02/2016 at 1:38am<b>MalignantSpirit</b> - the 06/24/2016 at 8:34pm<b>justindrew14</b> - the 06/23/2016 at 1:40am<b>BlackHawkSavior</b> - the 06/12/2016 at 11:34am<b>raven83</b> - the 06/08/2016 at 10:09am<b>BIONIC859</b> - the 06/05/2016 at 4:40pm<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 06/04/2016 at 8:47pm<b>Sampe101</b> - the 06/03/2016 at 2:33pm

Fucked!<b>thundercrow1999</b> - the 08/31/2016 at 6:00am<b>TheGreastest</b> - the 08/23/2016 at 11:33pm<b>PtCaboose</b> - the 08/03/2016 at 4:30am<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 06/05/2016 at 2:47am<b>LaurenBies152</b> - the 03/30/2016 at 5:41am<b>orios105</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 2:32am<b>HowlingFire</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 12:46am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 10/30/2015 at 12:07am<b>Melanie_marii</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 10:07am<b>Chanti</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 2:16am<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 1:48am<b>WaltzingPhantom</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 4:48pm<b>D_Word_Head</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 5:43am<b>dakatabg</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 8:50pm<b>minecraftguy333</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 3:04am<b>watermelon15</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 12:00am<b>OhWhoCares</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 5:39am<b>mypineapple</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 8:03am

skyeyez9's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of skyeyez9's badges

skyeyez9's favorite FMLs

Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML

by Anonymous / 04/09/2013 at 2:01pm / United States / Health

Today, I was discussing possible career choices with my relatives. Pretty much everyone expressed the belief that I'm screwed for life, with my grandma commenting later: "She ain't even got the tits for porn. God help her." FML

by flea-bitten / 04/06/2013 at 3:41pm / United States / Work

Today, I took an incredibly painful dump. After I cleaned myself up, I got up and was about to flush, until I saw something moving around in one of the logs of poop. It looked like an earthworm. It wasn't there when I sat down. FML

by what if I'm being eaten from the inside out? oh my god / 04/05/2013 at 2:51pm / Singapore / Health

Today, while on the bus, an elderly man fell asleep on my shoulder. He looked sweet, so I didn't push him off. A few minutes later, the bus jolted and his head slipped down into my breasts. I'm pretty sure you don't smile like that when you're really asleep. FML

by Anonymous / 04/04/2013 at 2:04pm / Portugal (Lisboa) / Transportation

Today, I was lost in a foreign city so I asked a girl for directions. She replied, "Directions? ONE DIRECTION!" and started screaming in my face and jumping around. FML

by Anonymous / 04/03/2013 at 5:17am / United States / Kids

Today, I got a letter from Yale law school saying I got a 4 year full scholarship. I called my dad crying and read the whole thing... even the bottom, which said, "April fools! Love mom and dad." FML

by madiison09 / 04/01/2013 at 1:46pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, one of my 5-year-old son's teeth fell out, but he's quite scatterbrained and he lost it. He did however find my vibrating duck under my pillow, and is now crying because he thinks that I stole his tooth so that the tooth fairy would bring me a toy. FML

by laptitesouris / 03/31/2013 at 7:35pm / France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur) / Kids

Today, my dad yet again uttered the words "well, that escalated quickly," while watching the news. He uses this godforsaken meme multiple times a day. I lost my shit and told him to just shut up already. He raised an eyebrow and said, "well, that escalated quickly." FML

by fuck you dad / 03/30/2013 at 2:17pm / Ireland (Monaghan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got so drunk that I tasered myself in the balls as a joke, fell down my friend's porch stairs and rolled out into the street. FML

by anon / 03/25/2013 at 2:31pm / United States / Health

Today, I finally came out to my family as a lesbian. My grandma then told me I'm just going through a phase because I finally realized I'm not pretty or skinny enough to get a man. FML

by theawesome129 / 03/24/2013 at 6:20am / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, my grandmother has been complaining that I spend too much on food, so I started cooking food from scratch. I happily showed her my recipe book and encouraged her to try a few. She then mocked me for wasting time by not buying frozen food. FML

by Anonymous / 03/22/2013 at 6:49am / United States / Money

Today, we had to re-live sex ed in my college biology class. Unlike in middle school, nobody giggled incessantly. However, the guy sitting next to me stared at me intensely for nearly the whole three hour lecture. FML

by Anonymous / 03/20/2013 at 3:45pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked into the room naked while my wife was on the computer to surprise her. She smiled, put down her laptop and left for the bathroom so I started jerking it in anticipation. It was really feeling good until my wife's best friend, who was on Skype, started giggling. FML

by fredo / 03/19/2013 at 8:31am / United States (Iowa) / Intimacy

Today, while working in childcare, we went to a farm so the kids could see how things worked. They started showing off prize winning cattle and when they bought out "Miss Stacey", the kids lost their shit. My name is Miss Stacey. FML

by seriously! / 03/19/2013 at 1:00am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work

Today, my parents asked me if I was sexually active. My grandma then screamed from upstairs, "She's not even physically active!" FML

by Susan / 03/18/2013 at 4:59am / Ireland / Intimacy