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skyeyez9

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skyeyez9
  • Town/Country : colorado springs, US
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8387
  • Number of comments : 3375
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 15 posted

About skyeyez9 : I like to go snowboarding, skiing, reading, swimming, hiking. Crocheting (amigurumi), recreational shooting, and play xbox
Gamer tag is Sparrow1978.

My daughter is the one in the red dress in my profile pic. We were in Okinawa and she was chowing down on the local cuisine.
My daughter is in the red dress in my pic, chowing down on the local cuisine. I'm the one behind her in the pink shirt, my mom is in the orange shirt.
We were at a cool outdoorsy restaurant in Okinawa, Japan. Waterfall, fish, pretty flora everywhere.

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skyeyez9's FML badges

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skyeyez9's favorite FMLs

Today, after applying for a job at the local pet store, I picked up a ferret. It began licking my cheek, causing me to turn my head. It then latched onto my ear and hung like a giant furry hoop earring. I screamed, then quietly left the building. FML

#19091480
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15676) - you deserved it (3595)

On 02/16/2012 at 2:43am - animals - by parkertownparadise (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, Target asked me if I would do the closing announcement. I've only been working there a little while, so excited I agreed. I told people, "The store is now closing, thank you for shopping at Walmart." FML

#19088946
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12828) - you deserved it (24587)

On 02/15/2012 at 9:03pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, while I was at work, my boyfriend decided to give my Cocker Spaniel a haircut. I now have the equivalent of an over-sized naked mole rat running around my house. FML

#19083975
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14849) - you deserved it (1763)

On 02/15/2012 at 6:09am - animals - by workaholic (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I received a cute letter in my locker. It was in German, so I used Google translate. Apparently, someone hopes I choke on big fat cock. FML

#19078471
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21476) - you deserved it (2121)

On 02/14/2012 at 7:35pm - intimacy - by kittens go meow - United States (Georgia)

Today, I received a cute letter in my locker. It was in German, so I used Google translate. Apparently, someone hopes I choke on big fat cock. FML

#19078471
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21476) - you deserved it (2121)

On 02/14/2012 at 7:35pm - intimacy - by kittens go meow - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had to chase my naked brothers around my house for twenty minutes, trying to get them to take a bath, all while they were chasing my best friend around yelling, "IT'S WIENER TIME!" FML

#19076647
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18923) - you deserved it (2086)

On 02/14/2012 at 5:29pm - kids - by ShylaMarie - Canada

Today, my misanthropic malcontent of a son smashed my air freshener and turned my faulty lava lamp on in a twisted act of rebellion. The bottom of the lamp broke and got wax everywhere. My room now smells like cinnamon, with a hint of freshly embalmed corpse. FML

#19066178
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16265) - you deserved it (3606)

On 02/13/2012 at 4:31pm - kids - by Username - India

Today, even though she can barely deal with raising kids, my 19-year-old sister announced her fourth pregnancy, by a fourth man, of yet another race. Why? Because she wants to "be like Angelina Jolie." I fear that social services may laugh at me if I tell them. FML

#19059341
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29315) - you deserved it (1894)

On 02/12/2012 at 7:18pm - kids - by amythest - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, I was taking a dump in a public toilet, when a guy in the next stall started drunkenly rapping. He kept trying to get me to rap along with him, eventually bashing the wall and threatening to bust my face in if I didn't. I soon found out I can rap to Slob On My Knob pretty well. FML

#19043614
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18828) - you deserved it (1805)

On 02/10/2012 at 8:02pm - misc - by rapper in training (man) - United States

Today, I had a technical skill test as a nurse. My objective was to help the patient defecate, but my opening sentence came out as: "Hello, I'm Jan. I'm here to help you take a shit." FML

#19030539
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15675) - you deserved it (7017)

On 02/08/2012 at 10:24pm - work - by Silver_Samurai (man) - Netherlands

Today, I received a single, hand-made Valentine's card from the weirdest kid in the school. It said, "If you ever get mauled by a bear, I hope he doesn't damage your face." FML

#18988741
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20368) - you deserved it (3737)

On 02/04/2012 at 12:12am - love - by Jayde - United States (Texas)

Today, my school's 6'2, 270-pound, 375-pound bench-pressing football superstar knocked me unconscious in one hit. With a dodgeball. FML

#18844690
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24129) - you deserved it (2450)

On 01/18/2012 at 2:57pm - health - by Shameful (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I caught my mother attempting to write a $1400 cheque. To whom? The proprietor of a "Christian charity fund" with whom she had been having Internet conversations. The proprietor's name, and that on the cheque, was "Herp McDerpington". FML

#18540980
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24762) - you deserved it (1693)

On 12/18/2011 at 12:18am - misc - by scammed - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting a historical war bunker when I accidentally let rip a small fart. My boyfriend responded with a horribly loud, horrendous fart, and loudly announced, "This is war." There were people, lots of people. FML

#18374141
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22751) - you deserved it (6680)

On 11/28/2011 at 7:34am - misc - by Dani - Reserved

Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting a historical war bunker when I accidentally let rip a small fart. My boyfriend responded with a horribly loud, horrendous fart, and loudly announced, "This is war." There were people, lots of people. FML

#18374141
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22751) - you deserved it (6680)

On 11/28/2011 at 7:34am - misc - by Dani - Reserved



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