About skyeyez9 : I like to go snowboarding, skiing, reading, swimming, hiking. Crocheting (amigurumi), recreational shooting, and play xbox
Gamer tag is Sparrow1978.
My daughter is the one in the red dress in my profile pic. We were in Okinawa and she was chowing down on the local cuisine.
My daughter is in the red dress in my pic, chowing down on the local cuisine. I'm the one behind her in the pink shirt, my mom is in the orange shirt.
We were at a cool outdoorsy restaurant in Okinawa, Japan. Waterfall, fish, pretty flora everywhere.
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Today, I was at the gym trying to impress a hot girl, so I put an extra 30 pounds on the bar, I lowered, pushed... and pooped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10057) - you deserved it (29166)
On 05/04/2012 at 8:49am - health - by authorsubmit - United States
Today, I was working at the local liquor store. An obviously drunk girl stumbles in, grabs two cases of beer and puts them on the counter. Then she grabs a pregnancy test, pees on it right there, shows me, and says, "I'm not pregnant, I want beer." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23635) - you deserved it (1288)
On 05/04/2012 at 8:08am - work - by viviham - United States (Texas)
Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10993) - you deserved it (37159) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 05/02/2012 at 1:06am - love - by Flip (woman) - France (Rhone-Alpes)
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. When I took my underwear off, she looked at my penis, snorted, and covered her mouth. She claimed that her "allergies" were flaring and we have to wait until they clear up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23585) - you deserved it (2352)
On 05/01/2012 at 12:41pm - intimacy - by rolyat (man) - United States (New York)
Today, while looking through my wedding photos, I realised my wife had done a duck face in every single one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31781) - you deserved it (4284)
On 04/19/2012 at 3:46pm - love - by caaarl (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, I was at a party, when the cops busted us. Since I'm underage, I hid behind a chair for an hour and a half while they breathalyzed everyone and sat them in the same room I was in. The cops left, everyone realized I was behind the chair, and now my nickname is "Anne Frank". FML
I agree, your life sucks (11092) - you deserved it (24455)
On 04/12/2012 at 2:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was at a party, when the cops busted us. Since I'm underage, I hid behind a chair for an hour and a half while they breathalyzed everyone and sat them in the same room I was in. The cops left, everyone realized I was behind the chair, and now my nickname is "Anne Frank". FML
I agree, your life sucks (11092) - you deserved it (24455)
On 04/12/2012 at 2:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my wife and I decided to try role-playing. I started cleaning the pool. waiting for her to come out and be sexy, but she never did. I'd cleaned the entire pool before going into the house to ask why she never came out. She said she tricked me into cleaning the pool. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22414) - you deserved it (16528)
On 04/12/2012 at 1:54pm - intimacy - by CantPublish - United States (California)
Today, a guy asked me out and said he was going to take me to a fancy restaurant where they make the food in front of you. I love Japanese food, so I was really excited. We went to Subway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24358) - you deserved it (3752)
On 04/11/2012 at 12:54pm - love - by mista_sandy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I had to pick my 22-year-old son up from the hospital, after he got blind drunk, got his hand stuck in a Pringles can, and got the bright idea of staggering to the local ER to get it cut off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17550) - you deserved it (2161)
On 04/09/2012 at 6:32pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)
Today, I realized I'm too short to use the urinals at work. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21167) - you deserved it (1800)
On 04/06/2012 at 7:32am - work - by littleman (man) - United States
Today, I'm recovering from colon surgery. They gave me codeine as pain relief, which has made me constipated. I'm currently sat on the toilet, trying to push out what feels like a small child wrapped in barbed wire out without busting my stitches. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24256) - you deserved it (1403)
On 04/04/2012 at 6:13am - health - by screaming monkey - United Kingdom (Windsor and Maidenhead)
Today, one of my nostrils became completely blocked. At lunch time, I went out to my car to dig into my nose. When I finished, I held up the cornflake sized booger in victory. I noticed too late that my boss was in a car adjacent to me, shooting me a horrified look. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7063) - you deserved it (16567)
On 03/28/2012 at 12:25pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I was sitting in my school's crowded auditorium. When our single, abstinence-only ballsack of a Sex Ed teacher was announced to be stepping down due to being pregnant, I burst into uncontrollable laughter. My reward was aching sides and a week of detention. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19946) - you deserved it (911)
On 03/15/2012 at 9:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her huge, ex-Marine father took me out back, saying he wanted to show me something. That something was a machete. He savagely buried it in a tree stump and said, "Son, if you break my daughter's heart, that'll be your dick." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25493) - you deserved it (4297)
On 03/14/2012 at 9:06pm - intimacy - by PUA - United States (Georgia)
Monday 20 May 2013
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