skyeyez9

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Offline (the 05/19/2016 at 12:49am)

skyeyez9

18Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 18820
  • Number of comments : 4275
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 15 posted

About skyeyez9 : I like to go snowboarding, skiing, reading, swimming, hiking. Crocheting (amigurumi), recreational shooting, and play xbox
Gamer tag is Sparrow1978.

skyeyez9's page activity

Visits<b>Joshawott14</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 12:23pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 8:20am<b>ThePerry</b> - the 05/11/2016 at 10:55pm<b>Siorghra</b> - the 05/11/2016 at 9:53pm<b>ScratchCatPower</b> - the 05/10/2016 at 8:17pm<b>angie4</b> - the 05/03/2016 at 10:54pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 05/02/2016 at 12:57pm<b>holly_fly</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 11:01am<b>FigureSkater7713</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 4:21pm<b>The12thPaladin</b> - the 04/15/2016 at 7:50pm<b>snappleshack</b> - the 04/08/2016 at 10:58pm<b>LaurenBies152</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 11:41pm<b>IAm123</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 2:57am<b>Epickiller</b> - the 03/21/2016 at 8:07am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 03/20/2016 at 10:26pm<b>send3426</b> - the 03/20/2016 at 3:31pm<b>jill97</b> - the 03/15/2016 at 11:26pm<b>PotatoesAndCake</b> - the 03/11/2016 at 8:10am

Fucked!<b>LaurenBies152</b> - the 03/30/2016 at 5:41am<b>orios105</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 2:32am<b>HowlingFire</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 12:46am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 10/30/2015 at 12:07am<b>Melanie_marii</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 10:07am<b>Chanti</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 2:16am<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 1:48am<b>WaltzingPhantom</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 4:48pm<b>D_Word_Head</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 5:43am<b>dakatabg</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 8:50pm<b>minecraftguy333</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 3:04am<b>watermelon15</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 12:00am<b>OhWhoCares</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 5:39am<b>mypineapple</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 8:03am<b>normal_shy_kid</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 1:02am<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 6:39pm

skyeyez9's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of skyeyez9's badges

skyeyez9's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out my handwriting is so bad that people think I write in Arabic. FML

by Anonymous / 10/16/2013 at 1:37pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I started to come to during dental surgery. I clearly heard someone behind me say "Shit! Get this fucker back under!" then another person mentioning they'd have to kill me to avoid "another lawsuit", followed by laughter and the blackness of sleep. FML

by Anonymous / 10/06/2013 at 5:49pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, my husband yelled from upstairs, "Babe! BABE, COME QUICK!" Terrified that something might have happened to our newborn daughter, I rushed up, only to find out he just wanted to show me that he'd learned how to spin a top on the tip of his penis without it falling. FML

by -____- / 10/05/2013 at 5:28pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, in a fit of jealousy over my recent muscle growth, my brother told our mom that I've only been going to the gym so I could smoke weed with my friends. She believed him and grounded me. FML

by Anonymous / 09/28/2013 at 5:28pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out this girl I had sex with lied to me. They weren't razor burn bumps. And I now have them. FML

by Anonymous / 09/28/2013 at 7:44am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I went to a really important job interview. During it, I accidentally let out a burp, came down with nervous hiccups, and when I tried to quietly ease out some painful gas that was building up, it came out as a massive, rancid fart. I'll definitely be unemployed for a while yet. FML

by ;_;" / 09/27/2013 at 5:33pm / Lebanon (Beyrouth) / Work

Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML

by SerenityJ / 09/27/2013 at 4:00pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my ex-wife put my number on Craigslist as a gay fashion designer needing a one night stand. I only found out when I got a text from an unknown number asking me when was the last time I "ate a black anaconda". FML

by Craigslist is Evil. / 09/24/2013 at 2:12pm / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy

Today, some asshat chewed me out over a 10 cent late fine he was charged on his library card. When I tried to explain the fine to him, he started mimicking me. Finally, as he chucked a dime at my head before storming out, I saw the glint of a Rolex watch from beneath his power suit. FML

by DimeShapedBruise / 09/24/2013 at 2:14am / United States (Oregon) / Work

Today, I came home to find that my house had been broken into. After assessing the loss, I saw a taunting note on the fridge saying, "Locks work best when the door's SHUT." My housekeeper had apparently left the door wide open. FML

by Anonymous / 09/17/2013 at 1:23pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, as I was getting my nails done at a salon, the owner pulled my head back against the chair in front of all the customers and began to tweeze my eyebrows. When I exclaimed that I didn't pay for that service, she replied, "I don't care. This needs done." FML

by BaMiTsAnYa / 09/15/2013 at 9:21pm / United States (Florida) / Transportation

Today, my grandmother opened the bathroom door to find me eating a spoonful of Nutella while on the toilet. She is convinced that I was eating my own shit and will not stop telling everybody. They believe her. FML

by Anonymous / 09/15/2013 at 5:16pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML

by Anonymous / 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm / Romania (Bucuresti) / Intimacy

Today, I was home alone and heard the kitchen tap turn on. Shocked, I turned it off. It continuously kept turning itself on so I set my video phone on it to find out the cause. My cat has learnt to turn it on. I later found said cat teaching another. I have three cats. All my taps are like this. FML

by Madster15 / 09/15/2013 at 2:05am / Australia (Victoria) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, the guy on the floor above me decided it was time for a tuba jam session. Apparently optimal tuba time is 2am. FML

by sleeplessinrichmond / 09/15/2013 at 2:02am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous