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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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skyeyez9

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skyeyez9
  • Town/Country : colorado springs, US
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6561
  • Number of comments : 2131
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

About skyeyez9 : Swimming, snowboarding, gardening, gymnastics, making amigurumi, hiking, reading.

skyeyez9's last visitors

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Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

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skyeyez9's favorite FMLs

Today, my misanthropic malcontent of a son smashed my air freshener and turned my faulty lava lamp on in a twisted act of rebellion. The bottom of the lamp broke and got wax everywhere. My room now smells like cinnamon, with a hint of freshly embalmed corpse. FML

#19066178 (132)

I agree, your life sucks (2788) - you deserved it (466)

On 02/13/2012 at 4:31pm - kids - by Username - India

Today, even though she can barely deal with raising kids, my 19-year-old sister announced her fourth pregnancy, by a fourth man, of yet another race. Why? Because she wants to "be like Angelina Jolie." I fear that social services may laugh at me if I tell them. FML

#19059341 (252)

I agree, your life sucks (6237) - you deserved it (364)

On 02/12/2012 at 7:18pm - kids - by amythest - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, I was taking a dump in a public toilet, when a guy in the next stall started drunkenly rapping. He kept trying to get me to rap along with him, eventually bashing the wall and threatening to bust my face in if I didn't. I soon found out I can rap to Slob On My Knob pretty well. FML

#19043614 (132)

I agree, your life sucks (5807) - you deserved it (539)

On 02/10/2012 at 8:02pm - misc - by rapper in training (man) - United States

Today, I had a technical skill test as a nurse. My objective was to help the patient defecate, but my opening sentence came out as: "Hello, I'm Jan. I'm here to help you take a shit." FML

#19030539 (140)

I agree, your life sucks (5262) - you deserved it (2392)

On 02/08/2012 at 10:24pm - work - by Silver_Samurai (man) - Netherlands

Today, I received a single, handmade valentines card from the weirdest kid in the school. It said, "If you ever get mauled by a bear, I hope he doesn't damage your face." FML

#18988741 (252)

I agree, your life sucks (6833) - you deserved it (1457)

On 02/04/2012 at 12:12am - love - by Jayde - United States (Texas)

Today, my school's 6'2, 270-pound, 375-pound bench-pressing football superstar knocked me unconscious in one hit. With a dodgeball. FML

#18844690 (278)

I agree, your life sucks (8446) - you deserved it (868)

On 01/18/2012 at 2:57pm - health - by Shameful (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I caught my mother attempting to write a $1400 cheque. To whom? The proprietor of a "Christian charity fund" with whom she had been having Internet conversations. The proprietor's name, and that on the cheque, was "Herp McDerpington". FML

#18540980 (151)

I agree, your life sucks (10676) - you deserved it (663)

On 12/18/2011 at 12:18am - misc - by scammed - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting a historical war bunker when I accidentally let rip a small fart. My boyfriend responded with a horribly loud, horrendous fart, and loudly announced, "This is war." There were people, lots of people. FML

#18374141 (180)

I agree, your life sucks (8703) - you deserved it (2446)

On 11/28/2011 at 7:34am - misc - by Dani - Reserved

Today, my girlfriend of two years broke up with me because her father, who abandoned her before she was born and just reentered her life, doesn't approve. FML

#18354062 (133)

I agree, your life sucks (11446) - you deserved it (564)

On 11/26/2011 at 3:16am - love - by anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML

#18312960 (207)

I agree, your life sucks (25288) - you deserved it (4114)

On 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm - animals - by furryballoon (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was napping. I woke up to my pillow making some sounds. Thinking it was my head shifting my pillow, I went back to sleep. Later on I woke up to the sounds again, and a mouse staring at my face. FML

#18070183 (109)

I agree, your life sucks (20542) - you deserved it (1951)

On 10/25/2011 at 3:17am - animals - by pinkjade - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my 28-year-old brother who has been pranking me all my life, put a chocolate cupcake on my chair. I sat on it, with my white dress. On my wedding day. FML

#18004959 (256)

I agree, your life sucks (51190) - you deserved it (2518)

On 10/17/2011 at 4:39am - misc - by cupcake_butt - United States

Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML

#17953738 (502)

I agree, your life sucks (9968) - you deserved it (6572)

On 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out the people I babysit for have a nanny cam. Problem is, when I'm there, I act out scenarios in which I have the sweetest boyfriend. I also say his parts out loud in a man's voice. FML

#17932386 (110)

I agree, your life sucks (4127) - you deserved it (11478)

On 10/08/2011 at 12:49am - work - by Laura - United States

Today, I was talking with my uncle, when the subject of my abusive mother-in-law came up. He assured me he'd talk to her and straighten things out. Apparently this means posting on her Facebook wall threatening to "pimp-slap a bitch" if she doesn't get her "fat ass out of family business". FML

#17931369 (146)

I agree, your life sucks (18232) - you deserved it (2103)

On 10/07/2011 at 10:40pm - misc - by ...... (woman) - United States (Utah)