skullofdarkness

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skullofdarkness

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 2 August 1994 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3400
  • Number of comments : 157
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About skullofdarkness : Hi, I'm Stephen, and you're creepin. Now. If you wanna message me, fine, it's probably gonna take me a while to get back to you, seeing as how I rarely get on here

skullofdarkness's page activity

Visits<b>darrend1196</b> - 16 hours ago<b>callabos921</b> - the 05/31/2016 at 1:19pm<b>krazy789</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 2:03pm<b>evtep33</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 9:45pm<b>SweetSociopathy</b> - the 09/15/2015 at 10:57pm<b>LieBull2732</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 6:25pm<b>alexistomlinson</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 11:21am<b>Bree06</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 7:36am<b>hfudge</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 8:47pm<b>obviouslywaffles</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 7:39pm<b>Nailpolishaholic</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 8:47am<b>ugh1stworldprobs</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 4:39pm<b>wigginz</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 10:08am<b>DaniloDanigga</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 8:13pm<b>myoukei</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 10:47pm<b>FloridaGirl23</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 7:19am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 9:47pm<b>cheyannemarie13</b> - the 03/01/2014 at 8:55am

Fucked!<b>obviouslywaffles</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 1:39am

skullofdarkness's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of skullofdarkness's badges

skullofdarkness's favorite FMLs

Today, because I refused to shave off what my wife calls my "pedo 'stache", she painted "Free Candy" on the side of my van. FML

by Anonymous / 07/28/2013 at 12:59am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad walked in on me filming a Harlem Shake video. He stared for a moment, said "Son, I don't have a problem with homosexuals, but... nevermind." then shook his head and walked out. FML

by ¬_¬ / 07/27/2013 at 6:43pm / South Africa (Western Cape) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finished off the last of the BBQ chips in the house. When my 6-year-old sister found out about it, she started screaming, then pulled down her pants and peed on the kitchen floor. My parents, after witnessing the whole thing, bitched me out for upsetting her. FML

by poopiter / 07/27/2013 at 2:31pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, I returned from a long business trip a day early to surprise my wife. She was sleeping, so I climbed into bed and started spooning her. Thinking I was an intruder, she simultaneously kicked me in the groin, elbowed me in the ribs, and smacked the back of her head into my jaw. FML

by good_aim / 07/27/2013 at 4:03am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me after 4 perfectly happy years together. The reason? He had a dream in which his dead former girlfriend from when he was 13 told him she still loved him. He now believes his dead childhood sweetheart is trying to contact him and I'm "in the way of their love." FML

by Immaculatedream / 07/27/2013 at 3:56am / New Zealand / Love

Today, my phone went off, reminding me to take my birth control. Instead of vibrating as per usual, it rang. The ringtone had been changed to my boyfriend singing "It's birth control time, birth control time, take your pill, or I'll say it ain't mine." I was sitting in a quiet waiting room. FML

by turning red / 07/26/2013 at 9:14pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Instead of moaning like any normal person, he just kept saying stuff like "uh-huh," "not too bad," and "yup" in a complete monotone. It was probably the most uncomfortable experience of my life. FML

by awkward / 07/26/2013 at 2:00pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my mother and I were discussing how we couldn't believe it's been nearly a year since my dad died. Not paying attention, my husband absentmindedly added, "Time flies when you're having fun." FML

by Anonymous / 07/26/2013 at 3:06am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in a training about the newest changes in CPR. The trainer was discussing chest compression techniques and said she prefers "good, fast, hard pumping." I was the only one who snickered out loud, drawing several annoyed looks from the other trainees. I'm a 45-year-old doctor. FML

by Anonymous / 07/25/2013 at 11:15pm / United States (North Carolina) / Work

Today, I realised that I can tell my 6 cats apart by the sound of their paws on the carpet. I think I need friends. FML

by Anonymous / 07/25/2013 at 8:13pm / South Africa / Transportation

Today, I spontaneously got my ear pierced. By spontaneously, I mean my 12-year-old sister stabbed one of her earrings into my ear while I was sleeping. She claimed the freckle on my earlobe looks "exactly the same" as the hole from her ear piercing. FML

by ouch / 07/24/2013 at 2:03pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids

Today, I went to a dance and saw a really cute guy. Glow sticks were everywhere, so trying to be cute, I took a broken one and dripped some of the glowing liquid on my chest. It made him notice me, but only for him to point out that I'd managed to cut myself and was bleeding badly. FML

by Anonymous / 07/24/2013 at 12:05pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I came back from vacation only to find my 16-year-old son was throwing a party with over 30 kids in our house. My 33-year-old sister was having fun dancing on a table. FML

Today, I learned that my wife used to strip while in college. I found this out when I brought her to a work party and my boss recognized her. FML

by Anonymous / 07/24/2013 at 3:33am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, the guy whose son I babysat for six hours straight confessed to being broke, then actually asked if he could pay me with sex instead. FML

by nowimbroketoo / 07/22/2013 at 1:47pm / Australia (Victoria) / Work