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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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skullbashd

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skullbashd
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 773
  • Number of comments : 228
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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skullbashd's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized I've been playing too much Call of Duty. I started screaming, "Spawn, b*tch! Spawn!" at my microwavable pizza while it was in the microwave. FML

#13827261 (181)

I agree, your life sucks (8135) - you deserved it (33257)

On 11/13/2010 at 12:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was having the most wonderful bath. The water was steaming, the bubbles were bubbly, and I was reading a really good book. I put my book down to yawn and looked to my right. My gaze was met by the lovely face of my brother's pet tarantula. FML

#13574162 (192)

I agree, your life sucks (24265) - you deserved it (1943)

On 10/24/2010 at 8:21am - misc - by mzgabbster (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I called my mom for her birthday. She started talking about an infomercial she'd seen for a combo bidet-and-dryer, and how she would like to get one so she can feel "fresh down there" without worrying about getting bits of toilet paper on her nether regions. I can't un-hear this. FML

#13415843 (74)

I agree, your life sucks (17676) - you deserved it (1788)

On 10/12/2010 at 1:46am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was tidying my room when my gran came in and offered to help. I said I didn't need any, but she started going through it anyway. She found a tube of "Very Cherry" lube and asked what it was. I subtly tore off the label and tried to convince her it was a face mask. She's taken it to try it out tonight. FML

#13394312 (123)

I agree, your life sucks (17125) - you deserved it (5573)

On 10/10/2010 at 4:29pm - intimacy - by Dilly - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I told the girl I've been seeing for a while about the strong feelings that I have for her and that I was falling in love. She told me my words made her realize what it felt like to be in love. My words were so powerful, in fact, that she ran right back into the arms of her ex boyfriend. FML

#13331586 (127)

I agree, your life sucks (26884) - you deserved it (2264)

On 10/05/2010 at 5:27pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, on my way to school I dropped my money. As I turned to pick it up, I saw an old lady snatch it up. We began to argue when a police officer came over. Not only was I accused of being a disorderly thief, but that old lady just walked away with my lunch money for the entire week. FML

#13313177 (152)

I agree, your life sucks (27835) - you deserved it (1748)

On 10/04/2010 at 2:37am - money - by melean (woman) - Trinidad and Tobago

Today, my friend and I offered a hot girl a lift home from campus. I was sitting in the passenger seat and she climbed in behind me. As I adjusted my seat forward to give her more leg room, my friend pulled off - slamming my seat back into her legs. FML

#13300541 (96)

I agree, your life sucks (16094) - you deserved it (2651)

On 10/03/2010 at 5:23am - misc - by tukkies (man) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, while my friend and I signed the guest-book at a wedding, the drunk guy at our table stole my friend's painkillers and car keys before getting into a cab. Didn't need the painkillers, definitely needed the keys. FML

#13259965 (76)

I agree, your life sucks (13856) - you deserved it (1676)

On 09/30/2010 at 2:51am - misc - by strandedguest (woman) - United States

Today, I got grounded because I have a picture on facebook in which I'm touching the crotch of a cardboard cut-out of Obama. My parents insist the FBI will see that and I'll end up in jail. My parents are crazy. FML

#12865324 (130)

I agree, your life sucks (23606) - you deserved it (9925)

On 09/02/2010 at 1:54am - misc - by ItsObamasFault - United States

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I learned to never shave your downstairs when you have the hiccups. FML

#12797931 (183)

I agree, your life sucks (13871) - you deserved it (17596)

On 08/29/2010 at 1:02am - health - by yggiz (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I made a mistake at work that got 7 people fired. I'm scared to leave the office because they're all outside. FML

#12740190 (265)

I agree, your life sucks (10677) - you deserved it (44476)

On 08/25/2010 at 3:13pm - work - by Joel - United States (California)

Today, because the two other managers decided to go on a spa day together, I had to stay at work despite the fact I spent most of the day throwing up in the bathroom. They called me to say what a good day they had. FML

#12450514 (100)

I agree, your life sucks (18782) - you deserved it (1724)

On 08/11/2010 at 8:01am - work - by stuck (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, after going down on my boyfriend, we were cuddling and I went to kiss him. Just before I could reach his lips, he ran his finger over my mouth and whispered, "S-s-s-semen." FML

#11542106 (323)

I agree, your life sucks (22212) - you deserved it (17739)

On 06/29/2010 at 1:34pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my wife told me she was very horny as we have not had sex in about two weeks, so I told her to do something for me to get me in the mood. She sighed and then went upstairs to get ready for work. FML

#9180721 (184)

I agree, your life sucks (7236) - you deserved it (28027)

On 03/18/2010 at 4:21am - intimacy - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, while making out with my boyfriend, he started playing with my nipples. Suddenly he stops kissing me, looks at my nipples and says, "Have they always been like this? They look like joysticks!". He then started singing the Super Mario Brother's theme song and playing the game with my nipples. FML

#9086835 (241)

I agree, your life sucks (19044) - you deserved it (3543)

On 03/14/2010 at 10:09pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)