skitz

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skitz

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 5 July 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 35727
  • Number of comments : 31
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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skitz's page activity

Visits<b>bakry</b> - the 08/28/2016 at 2:40pm<b>jacksavage33</b> - the 03/25/2016 at 4:03pm<b>Mean_Oreo2436</b> - the 03/06/2016 at 9:40pm<b>EyesofStone</b> - the 02/25/2016 at 3:26pm<b>Kjaerlighet</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 11:25pm<b>dakota133</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 7:39am<b>NarutoLove</b> - the 09/05/2015 at 1:58am<b>accidentalsheep</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 12:16am<b>EnigMind</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 9:13am<b>eatsteak</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 12:46pm<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 12/24/2014 at 11:34am<b>lizzy9147</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 12:36pm<b>jvegahernandez</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 1:47am<b>123765</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 9:52pm<b>osr215</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 12:50am<b>Wrex</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 6:27pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 10:36am<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 1:09am

Fucked!<b>EyesofStone</b> - the 02/25/2016 at 9:26pm<b>lizzy9147</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 6:36pm

skitz's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

skitz's favorite FMLs

Today, I locked my keys in my car. After spending 20 minutes on the phone with AAA, and then waiting a half hour, the guy showed up, he stuck his hand in the drivers side window and asked, "You couldn't just reach in?" I forgot I left the window open. FML

by .... / 04/17/2009 at 12:49pm / United States (New York) / Transportation

Today, I was having a dream that I was climbing out of a well. While almost out, I felt someone grab my knee; I screamed loud in terror. When I opened my eyes, nearly 25 people were staring at me. The lady across from me apologized for hitting me with her bag. I was on the C-train. FML

by bluemonday / 04/17/2009 at 7:47am / Canada (Alberta) / Transportation

Today, my girlfriend and I were watching TV. She starts to undo my belt buckle, unzips my fly and then takes my pants off. Right as I'm starting to get really excited, she says to me, "Just joking." FML

by Hikara / 04/13/2009 at 9:44am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, I was surfing and trying to impress some girls on the beach. While I was out in the water, a jellyfish wrapped itself around my torso. I started to yell and freak out, making a huge scene. I grabbed it off of me, only to realize that I was freaking out over a plastic grocery bag. FML

by effingawwesome / 04/11/2009 at 2:52pm / United States (South Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, at lunch I was running to my group's table with my friend. She accidentally tripped me, and I slid across the café floor face first on my belly. The whole cafeteria was silent. They then broke out in hysterics when the head janitor ran up to me and yelled 'SAFE!' like a baseball umpire. FML

by eun / 04/08/2009 at 9:42pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was volunteering at a school. There's this really bratty boy there and he was being rude, so I joked, "How are you ever gonna get a girlfriend when you're so mean?" He responds, "I think the better question is how are you ever gonna get a boyfriend when you're so ugly." He's 7. FML

by ugly / 04/07/2009 at 7:34pm / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

Today, I was volunteering at a school. There's this really bratty boy there and he was being rude, so I joked, "How are you ever gonna get a girlfriend when you're so mean?" He responds, "I think the better question is how are you ever gonna get a boyfriend when you're so ugly." He's 7. FML

by ugly / 04/07/2009 at 7:34pm / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML

by FML.. / 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm / China (Hebei) / Intimacy

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

by creepermagnet / 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, I was going on holiday. As I was checking in my bags, I said to the really cute steward, "I think I'm overweight." He told me about discounts for customers of 'larger proportions.' I was talking about my suitcase being overweight. FML

by blahbags / 04/06/2009 at 9:39am / United Kingdom (London) / Health

Today, I was going on holiday. As I was checking in my bags, I said to the really cute steward, "I think I'm overweight." He told me about discounts for customers of 'larger proportions.' I was talking about my suitcase being overweight. FML

by blahbags / 04/06/2009 at 9:39am / United Kingdom (London) / Health

Today, I was going on holiday. As I was checking in my bags, I said to the really cute steward, "I think I'm overweight." He told me about discounts for customers of 'larger proportions.' I was talking about my suitcase being overweight. FML

by blahbags / 04/06/2009 at 9:39am / United Kingdom (London) / Health

Today, I was going on holiday. As I was checking in my bags, I said to the really cute steward, "I think I'm overweight." He told me about discounts for customers of 'larger proportions.' I was talking about my suitcase being overweight. FML

by blahbags / 04/06/2009 at 9:39am / United Kingdom (London) / Health

Today, it was really windy and rainy causing me to trip and knock into a little kid. While still gathering myself, I apologized and patted the kid on its' head. Then I see people around me starting to laugh. I turn and look at the kid, and discover I've been interacting with a trash can. FML

by trashcanned / 04/06/2009 at 7:47am / United States (Virginia) / Kids

Today, I was walking out of a Starbucks and saw someone walking out behind me, thinking it would be the nice thing to do I held the door open. I was holding the door for about 30 seconds before realizing I was holding the door for my own shadow. FML

by Anonymous / 04/06/2009 at 12:14am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous