Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

skitz

Search for a member

skitz
  • Town/Country : queens, new york
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 5 July 1992 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 34287
  • Number of comments : 31
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

skitz's last visitors

m22100Demonkingaelathehuntresswopchop12ex_omermazdatuner09NYGiantsForeverchargers2588Freeze

skitz's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

skitz's favorite FMLs

Today, as I was running a cute guy was coming towards me. As he was passing me, he yelled "nice tush!" I said thanks and slapped my ass flirtatiously. He stopped running, laughed and pointed to my crotch, replying "No, I said nice BUSH" I looked down to see my shorts had rode up a bit too high. FML

#1701817
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17622) - you deserved it (61024)

On 05/06/2009 at 8:20pm - misc - by schmoodles - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, was my first meeting with business partners as I am new to the team. Instead of saying that I was looking forward to "stretching my legs" or "spreading my wings", I told them I was anxious to start "spreading my legs". FML

#1683242
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54747) - you deserved it (19119)

On 05/06/2009 at 2:04am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I pissed my younger brother off. Seemingly unrelated to this was the fact that I left my laptop on in my room along with MSN signed into my email adress. Now, all my contacts know that I apparently "just love the warm feeling of semen sliding down my throat". FML

#1667670
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38752) - you deserved it (24383)

On 05/05/2009 at 5:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was masturbating in the dark with the door open. I thought I saw a figure outside my door, because I didn't have my glasses on. After intensely staring at the dark figure for about a minute, thinking it was my imagination, my stepdad said, "you know, I am looking RIGHT at you," FML

#1592701
313 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20733) - you deserved it (78242)

On 05/03/2009 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by danggit3290 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house.I've been a vegetarian for 4 years, and his mother made lasagna with meat in it. After telling her I don't eat meat, my boyfriend's father says "we know whose meat she does eat." My boyfriend, his mother, and I were standing right there. FML

#1475433
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64262) - you deserved it (8470)

On 04/29/2009 at 10:09pm - intimacy - by ohmyx3 (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was at the store with my wife. As we were walking out, I helped an elderly woman get through the door. As I was opening the door, my foot got stuck on the door and my face was catapulted into the woman's breasts. It wasn't until we got into the car that my wife burst into hysterics. FML

#1310599
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38917) - you deserved it (3238)

On 04/25/2009 at 1:09am - misc - by GreenMonstR (man) - United States (California)

Today, I parked my car on the street late at night, when I was distracted by a text message. Some guy then gets in my passenger side. Panicked, thinking I was being robbed, I bolt out of my car bruising my head and dropping my phone onto the pavement. The guy meant to get in the car behind me. FML

#1278797
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37333) - you deserved it (4794)

On 04/23/2009 at 11:53pm - misc - by NoFightResponse (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I parked my car on the street late at night, when I was distracted by a text message. Some guy then gets in my passenger side. Panicked, thinking I was being robbed, I bolt out of my car bruising my head and dropping my phone onto the pavement. The guy meant to get in the car behind me. FML

#1278797
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37333) - you deserved it (4794)

On 04/23/2009 at 11:53pm - misc - by NoFightResponse (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to go to my 10 year old son's school to talk about my job being a chef. As I was almost finished, I asked the kids "What would you like to do when you grow up?" Without hesitation one kid replied with a straight face , "Anything but being a douchebag like you." FML

#1253914
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56704) - you deserved it (5166)

On 04/23/2009 at 11:51am - work - by helen_ (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had to go to my 10 year old son's school to talk about my job being a chef. As I was almost finished, I asked the kids "What would you like to do when you grow up?" Without hesitation one kid replied with a straight face , "Anything but being a douchebag like you." FML

#1253914
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56704) - you deserved it (5166)

On 04/23/2009 at 11:51am - work - by helen_ (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was crocheting while watching television, and thinking to myself how proud I was that I taught myself to crochet. Then, an episode of Golden Girls came on, and I watched that while I crocheted. I'm 24. FML

#1221621
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22310) - you deserved it (33764)

On 04/22/2009 at 1:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, is my 21st birthday. I get home after my night out and walk into the garage to see a 2002 Red Corvette convertible. I run up to the car thinking its a gift and there's a note: "Dani this is not your birthday present. Quit drooling on my car. -Dad" Thanks Dad. FML

#1124896
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49177) - you deserved it (11284)

On 04/19/2009 at 5:47pm - misc - by scarletdurose88 (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I went swinging with my friend at the park. Seeing a few cute guys playing basketball, I tried to act cute, laughing loudly and letting my hair fly all over the place. Just as they look over the swing broke. I fell on my face, my jeans sliding down, mooning them. They laughed hysterically. FML

#1091323
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35950) - you deserved it (28916)

On 04/18/2009 at 5:08pm - misc - by xxxdwangelaxxx (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I finally got some sleep after an exterminator came yesterday and took care of our roach problem. I woke up and kissed my boyfriend good morning. Frowning, he told me I had something stuck on the corner of my mouth. It was a roach leg. Where is the rest of the roach? FML

#1056557
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86223) - you deserved it (3809)

On 04/17/2009 at 2:43pm - misc - by wellesleybanana (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: