This member hasn't filled in their description.
skittlesxmonster's FML badges
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
skittlesxmonster's favorite FMLs
Today, I saw a spider crawling across a poster in my bedroom, so I smacked the spot below it to scare the spider into climbing back up the wall. Instead, because the poster wasn't completely flat to the wall, I catapulted the spider straight into my face. FML
by spiderwoman / 04/15/2011 at 7:47am / United Kingdom (East Sussex) / Animals
Today, I was answering a text from one of my students asking me if they could re-take a test. I thought I'd texted back "No, you can't." Auto correct had used a more frequently used word: "No, you cunt." FML
by Anonymous / 03/03/2011 at 6:22am / United States (California) / Work
by verasam01 / 02/24/2011 at 7:37pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals
Today, I was riding my bike to the local grocery store to pick up some supplies for dinner. On the way down, traveling down a hill, I hit a drain with no lid. I went to grab hold of the nearest object to soften my fall. That nearest object was a barbed wire fence. FML
by Lawrence / 08/06/2009 at 12:55am / United States (Florida) / Transportation
by theregoesmyspermcount / 08/02/2009 at 6:45pm / United States (Texas) / Health
Today, I was trying to wiggle my boxer shorts off to get it on with my girlfriend when my knee hooked on the elastic band. I was anxious to get started, so I used force and ended up kneeing my girlfriend in the crotch. FML
by solomantis / 07/30/2009 at 1:46am / Norway (Oslo) / Intimacy
Today, I was at the store with my mother in the facial care section. I found this device that scrubs your face with those anti-bacterial pads. The aisle was crowded and noisy, so I shouted to my mother, "Can I have this vibrator thing?" It went silent. FML
by Nikse / 07/29/2009 at 3:23am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, while walking through the park, a little boy came running up to me and hit me in the nuts with a stick. I fell on the ground and looked up just in time to see his mom giving him the thumbs up with a smile on her face. FML
by bbbkingsey / 07/23/2009 at 3:10am / United States (Florida) / Kids
Today, I was surprising my husband because our sex life is lacking. We have planned sex tuesday night, every week, with the lights off. When he came home for lunch, I was nude and waiting for him. He took one look and said, "I forgot you looked like that. Meh, I'm going back to work." FML
by Meh / 07/18/2009 at 11:51am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
by joedoe / 07/18/2009 at 2:03am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Pumpkin / 07/17/2009 at 10:00pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
by kewlcat / 07/16/2009 at 2:30am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/16/2009 at 1:32am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at the grocery with my 4 year old daughter. She needed me to tie one of her shoes so I bent down. When I was done, I tickled her under the armpit and she screamed "Don't touch me there!". Everyone in the store turned to stare. FML
by shway / 07/15/2009 at 7:22pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend watching a movie, my boyfriend then leans in and says: "You know, you're my favourite girlfriend." I then jokingly responded by saying: "You say that like I'm not the only girlfriend you have right now." I hate being right. FML
by dinapar / 07/14/2009 at 10:02am / Canada (Manitoba) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…