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skittlesarmy

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skittlesarmy

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  • Number of visits : 51
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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skittlesarmy's page activity

Visits<b>Chumbowamba</b> - the 10/01/2013 at 11:33pm

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skittlesarmy's favorite FMLs

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my mom. The first thing my mom did was look at her breasts and mention that no matter what happens, hers were the first that I suckled on. FML

#20909928
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50471) - you deserved it (3575)

On 10/06/2013 at 5:54pm - love - by UHM (man) - United States

Today, I walked in on my daughter shaving the testicles of her boyfriend, who had apparently snuck in through her window. FML

#20888905
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53094) - you deserved it (5380)

On 09/20/2013 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by disappointed (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I forgot my key inside my apartment. My boyfriend suggested we ask a neighbor to open it. I explained we don't all have the same key, to which he responded, "Well how come they all have the same doorknobs?" FML

#20834278
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42037) - you deserved it (4703)

On 08/12/2013 at 7:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend of 3 weeks gave me an ultimatum: marry her, or she kills herself. FML

#20814794
339 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67381) - you deserved it (5813)

On 08/01/2013 at 3:36am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my husband was arrested for having sex in public. FML

#20538233
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45302) - you deserved it (4443)

On 03/10/2013 at 2:50pm - love - by ifhehadadickforaheaditdbefuckingsmall (woman) - Cyprus (Nicosia)

Today, I was finally paid back by a friend who wrote a check out. Not really looking at it, I went to the bank to deposit it. As I handed it to the teller, I noticed that he had written "sex" in the "for" memo. FML

#20074336
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20473) - you deserved it (3523)

On 09/16/2012 at 9:46am - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that my colleagues had replaced my email auto-responder with a message saying, "I'm away for two weeks in Brazil. Due to the surgery, when I return, please address me by my new name: Crystal." FML

#19710494
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28047) - you deserved it (2716) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/31/2012 at 4:19pm - love - by Monsieur-Madame (man) - France (Champagne-Ardenne)

Today, I was at the laundromat when a huge, tattoo-covered man wearing nothing but denim booty shorts and a wife-beater sat down beside me. He stared at me for a while, before telling me all about how I reminded him of his "first prison bitch." FML

#19644212
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25196) - you deserved it (1934)

On 05/18/2012 at 10:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I realized I have more in common with a cantaloupe than I do with my boyfriend. FML

#19562059
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19150) - you deserved it (4503)

On 05/02/2012 at 2:16am - love - by muddled (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend hated the idea of sex so much she was willing to give me money for a stripper. FML

#18693659
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33933) - you deserved it (5272)

On 01/03/2012 at 2:17am - intimacy - by Cpt Colin (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my best friend threw my football over a wall, so we hopped over to go and get it. Next thing we know, we're both surrounded by men pointing guns in our faces. FML

#18127169
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32643) - you deserved it (6512)

On 11/01/2011 at 5:03am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out I have a huge infected boil on my vagina. The worst part was that I wasn't the one to discover this. My boyfriend was. FML

#14665942
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33409) - you deserved it (9036)

On 01/21/2011 at 8:27pm - intimacy - by alaskan1989 - United States (Alaska)

Today, I went to my Calculus lecture, one of a class of 200 people. As I looked down I noticed that a guy a few rows in front of me was on Facebook. When I took a closer look, I noticed he was viewing my profile. He stalked the profile for a full 45 minutes. I have never met this guy in my life. FML

#13963928
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35881) - you deserved it (4854)

On 11/24/2010 at 5:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, my husband asked me for permission to have an affair with his hot secretary. FML

#5086077
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70597) - you deserved it (6047)

On 09/06/2009 at 5:35pm - love - by mandinga (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my mom explained to me that looking up gay porn on the internet is bad. I didn't look up gay porn. The only other person who uses the laptop is my dad. I couldn't tell her the truth and had to pretend I enjoy gay fanfiction. FML

#4645462
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54613) - you deserved it (4915)

On 08/19/2009 at 12:41am - misc - by weeks (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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