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Today, my best friend decided she wanted to tell my boyfriend about the time I pissed myself laughing at her house. When she was telling the story I ended up laughing so hard, that I pissed myself again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4911) - you totally deserved it (9708)
On 03/03/2010 at 10:19pm - misc - by Titi14 - United States (New York)
Today, I have the flu, food poisoning and I'm on my period. I have enough liquids pouring out of me from various holes to satisfy a sewer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28160) - you totally deserved it (1527)
On 02/09/2010 at 7:22am - health - by SickSmick (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, I discovered my brother likes to use our kitchen utensils to scratch his private areas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16735) - you totally deserved it (915)
On 02/09/2010 at 1:40am - health - by utensils123 (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, after calling my boyfriend and telling him that my dog had just died, he hesitated and stuttered "She was old, sick, and suffering. Babe, it was her time to go." He then informed me he had to go to his friend's house and hung up. My dog was 2, in great health, and was hit by a car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16941) - you totally deserved it (1097)
On 02/03/2010 at 12:03am - misc - by Brittany (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was giving a class presentation, when I suddenly sneezed so hard I wet myself. FML
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On 02/01/2010 at 2:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I was walking by a pond when I saw a small frog. I decided to catch it to get a close look. After I picked it up, I realized that it was not a frog. It was dog shit shaped like a frog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5603) - you totally deserved it (17109)
On 02/01/2010 at 9:34am - misc - by adad - Sent from a mobile version
Today, I was caught going on Facebook at work. I was called into my bosses office to be reprimanded, and while he was lecturing me on the importance of staying focussed and the misuse of company property, his computer beeped. It was his Facebook chat notifying him he had a new message. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18702) - you totally deserved it (2022)
On 01/29/2010 at 10:33am - work - by boredatwork (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I tried talking to my boyfriend about our sex life. I was trying to express that I feel like we don't do it enough, but he wasn't very responsive. I ended up saying, "I wish you had a bigger sex drive" to which he answered, "I wish you had bigger boobs." FML
I agree, your life sucks (4489) - you totally deserved it (2923)
On 01/26/2010 at 1:56am - intimacy - by mairelys (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I went to the grocery store, and I realized that all I bought was cat food and $30 worth of protein bars. Yes, I have become THAT single woman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13140) - you totally deserved it (3845)
On 01/25/2010 at 12:33am - love - by Phoenix0614 (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was talking this pretty religious girl that I like. We were playing a game and I asked her if she could go back in history and meet anyone who would it be. She said Jesus. Without thinking I said "I mean someone that was real." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7993) - you totally deserved it (20044)
On 01/24/2010 at 10:31pm - misc - by Ben (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my parents had a huge fight because my mom found out my dad was cheating on her. They screamed for half an hour. Right in the middle of my wedding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33746) - you totally deserved it (905)
On 01/24/2010 at 8:02pm - love - by weddingbells (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, to my surprise my girlfriend said, "I've never felt this way before." We have been dating for six months, and I knew that I loved her, so I replied, "Me neither, I love you." There was a long awkward pause. Turns out, she was talking about her abnormally painful period cramps. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16734) - you totally deserved it (2053)
On 01/24/2010 at 7:50pm - love - by dan (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I got yelled at by one of my bosses. The reason? I was yawning. I work at Starbucks. Apparently I wasn't 'promoting' correctly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13584) - you totally deserved it (2198)
On 01/21/2010 at 12:29am - work - by nichaneely (man) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I was having a playful fight with my brother. I made the point that our dog likes me better than him. To this, my dog proceeded to jump onto the sofa, turn to me and vomit on my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14371) - you totally deserved it (4781)
On 11/26/2009 at 4:13pm - misc - by smellsofeggs (woman) - United Kingdom (Brent)
Today, a girl I've liked for several years gave me her number. Finally, I worked up the courage to call her. It was a suicide help line. FML
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On 10/25/2009 at 4:48pm - love - by Kin (man) - United States (California)
