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Today, I got a text from my mom saying, "I heard the cupcake store got robbed. Where are you?" Then she texted back, "Oh never mind, they wanted money, not cupcakes. It wasn't you." Very funny, Mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18937) - you deserved it (3964)
On 02/13/2012 at 2:09am - misc - by cieee - United States (Texas)
Today, I have my very first gynecologist appointment. I'm 15. My mom wants to "be on the safe side" and make sure I'm not sexually active. This is my punishment for being a virgin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26135) - you deserved it (2285)
On 09/07/2011 at 12:57pm - health - by AudraRose - United States
Today, my girlfriend of six months broke up with me because I didn't know what her favorite ice cream was. She says it proves I don't care enough about her. I don't think I've ever seen her eat ice cream. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21630) - you deserved it (3014)
On 08/31/2011 at 5:16am - love - by wtf3456 (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, while stuck in traffic on the highway, my 5 year old in the back seat asked me why the man in the car next to us was pulling on the other man's "peepee". FML
I agree, your life sucks (36129) - you deserved it (1906)
On 08/04/2011 at 12:04am - intimacy - by whatnot - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me by tossing the ring at me and saying "Here, wear this." FML
I agree, your life sucks (41217) - you deserved it (6104)
On 07/20/2011 at 7:07pm - love - by Username - United States
Today, I discovered that when you buy ropes, duct tapes, a shovel, razor blades, a fire poker, and a carton of cigs, the police can turn up and search your house for 'prisoners'. Those items were actually coincidental. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28130) - you deserved it (6460)
On 07/19/2011 at 9:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)
Today, after applying sunscreen to myself every two hours, I still got sunburned. Through my clothes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23340) - you deserved it (3750)
On 07/17/2011 at 3:59pm - health - by Username - United States
Today, I found out that as a supervisor, if you reprimand a female worker and end the conversation with "Now get back to making sandwiches." your boss will consider it sexism and suspend you. I work at Subway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42859) - you deserved it (6040)
On 06/10/2011 at 1:01am - work - by MakeMeASandwich (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I went to the beach with my friends to show off my engagement ring. I fell asleep in the sun and woke up extremely sunburnt to a text from my boyfriend confessing that he's been cheating on me. I gave him the ring back. Now I have its tan line on my finger. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34327) - you deserved it (4954)
On 06/04/2011 at 8:54pm - love - by Burned - United States
Today, I brought my girlfriend of four months home for dinner to meet my parents. The first thing my mom says to her? "Oh my God, you're real!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (29784) - you deserved it (3397)
On 05/04/2011 at 11:30pm - misc - by Charlie (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I took a picture of myself and put it on Facebook. After I did so, I realized that in the background, you can see my crush's Facebook page up on my laptop. He tagged himself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12832) - you deserved it (34917)
On 02/24/2011 at 7:37pm - misc - by verasam01 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I cleaned up my dog's crap after my wife asked me. 5 minutes later she yelled at me for being lazy as she slammed the door leaving for work. My dog shit in the exact same spot apparently to make me look stupid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27093) - you deserved it (2441)
On 02/12/2011 at 9:17pm - animals - by Username - United States (Kentucky)
Today, my girlfriend's parents walked in on us having sex. Not only did her dad make me walk out to my truck with no clothes on, he is my baseball coach and I will be seeing him on Monday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26450) - you deserved it (14468)
On 02/12/2011 at 12:59am - intimacy - by Keith walk - United States (Texas)
Today, my girlfriend was going down on me, when I heard my dog start growling. He must have thought my girlfriend was hurting me, because out of nowhere and before I could do anything, he attacked her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24600) - you deserved it (4571)
On 01/22/2011 at 4:24pm - intimacy - by ohsnap (man) - United States (New York)
Today, a friend and I saw some deer outside my car. Since we were both leaving for college the next day we wanted to do something memorable so we decided to chase the deer. Turns out the deer wanted to chase us too. We ran for over five minutes screaming. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5068) - you deserved it (35855)
On 01/22/2011 at 4:03am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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