About skehar : Hey there, strangers. In the off chance that you've come to my profile, there's nothing to see here. Move along!
skehar's FML badges
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skehar's favorite FMLs
Today, someone stole my card number and tried to use it. Every transaction got declined, not because the bank knew it was a fraudulent charge, but because I'm so poor that he couldn't make even a single purchase. FML
by NykP / 10/02/2013 at 12:56pm / United States (Arizona) / Money
by Anonymous / 09/27/2013 at 4:33pm / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, I woke up and saw that my alarm clock had fallen on the floor. It read 9:05 am. I panicked because I was late for work. As I frantically got ready, I went to pick my alarm clock up to place it back on my nightstand when I realized it was upside down. The actual time was 5:06. FML
by NoorFML / 09/13/2013 at 9:24am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to babysit two kids. It all went well until one of them duct taped a knife to a toy machine gun, lit the barbecue on fire, and ran around like a wild banshee screaming obscenities. The other one got scared and climbed onto the roof of the house. FML
by ellen77 / 09/13/2013 at 1:55am / United States (California) / Work
by Frenchie / 09/12/2013 at 5:24pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
by Anonymous / 09/08/2013 at 12:38pm / Switzerland (Bern) / Work
Today, while working at Home Depot, I was asked to cut some wire. When I asked her how much, she said, "From my computer to the wall". After explaining for a while that I didn't know how far that is, she left. FML
by tdawgg / 09/06/2013 at 10:12am / Canada (Alberta) / Work
Today, my dad tore my room apart for the second time, looking for drug-making equipment. His reasoning is that I must be dealing drugs, because I'm a chemistry major who likes to watch Breaking Bad. FML
by WaltTheFuckDad / 09/01/2013 at 7:06pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by fartz / 08/31/2013 at 2:04am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, it was the day of my wedding. I had a massive headache a couple of hours before the ceremony so I decided to take a nap. I told my brother to wake me up an hour before it started. He forgot. Now everyone thinks I ran out on my wife. FML
by dhskkf / 08/27/2013 at 8:23pm / United States / Love
Today, I was watching a movie with my family in which a character said "Fuck you, dad." My dad then slapped me over the head to get my attention and said, "Never talk to your father like that." Okay, dad. FML
by idonteven / 08/12/2013 at 4:04pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, after swimming in the pool, I went into the shower. Little did I know that my niece was hiding in there. She excitedly yelled "I saw your boobs!" Now my nephew won't stop crying because he didn't get to see them as well. FML
by Anonymous / 08/10/2013 at 8:04pm / United States (Nevada) / Kids
Today, I was delivering pizza. When I went up to the front door, an elderly lady answered. She was wearing a floral dress that went down to her shins and had a Nicolas Cage mask on with eye holes cut out. When I glanced behind her, I saw her cats had them too. FML
by nicholascageonyourface / 06/09/2013 at 1:13am / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/14/2013 at 10:11pm / United States / Love
by child of a crazed women / 04/07/2013 at 5:19am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I started making love to my wife as soon as the kids were occupied. She just laid there the… Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I grabbed his butt to control his thrusts and got… Today, I saw my ex-girlfriend across the street. I was walking with a girl whom I'd been hooking up…