schadenfreude - only way to make it through the day
Today, the boy I like finally acknowledged me. He came up to me and uttered two words: "Nice pooper." FML
I agree, your life sucks (1044) - you totally deserved it (533)
On 03/15/2010 at 5:14am - intimacy - by shygurl434 - United States (Alaska)
Today, I woke up crying in the middle of a nightmare in which my boyfriend of 8 months shot me through the heart whilst laughing as I screamed 'I Love You'. After I told him about this, he took me into his arms as I cried, stroked my back and said, 'What kind of gun was it?' FML
I agree, your life sucks (13428) - you totally deserved it (3100)
On 03/12/2010 at 8:17am - love - by justlittleoldme (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)
Today, when I went to see a movie with my best friend, and there were 3 girls loudly discussing blow job techniques. I texted my boyfriend about how gross the conversation was. His reply was "Pay attention. You might learn something." FML
I agree, your life sucks (1547) - you totally deserved it (3418)
On 03/10/2010 at 6:05am - intimacy - by ohno - United States
Today, I met my boyfriend's mom for the first time. She pulls out a freezer bag full of condoms and says "I have some cooler ones upstairs, if you want his penis to glow in the dark." FML
I agree, your life sucks (2872) - you totally deserved it (663)
On 03/06/2010 at 7:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I got a 95 on my term project. To congratulate me, my boyfriend said we're having sex tonight. I only get laid if I get good grades. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3907) - you totally deserved it (1047)
On 03/04/2010 at 10:48am - intimacy - by lalararara - United States
Today, my mom walked in on me and my boyfriend having sex. She was completely embarrassed (as was I) and she flew out of the room. My boyfriend, on the other hand, still wanted to finish. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1100) - you totally deserved it (2214)
On 03/04/2010 at 5:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I was waiting downstairs at my boyfriend's house as he got ready to go. His mom came over and said she was so glad her son had met me, that I made him really happy. I smiled thinking how nice that was of her to say. She then continued, "Still, he tells me anal is a no?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (4911) - you totally deserved it (659)
On 02/21/2010 at 12:16pm - intimacy - by charliesangel123 (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)
Today, I was at a club with my friends and my friend got really drunk. Later on he came up to me and said he really needed to pee but he was too drunk to work the zipper, and asked if I could help. When I finally unzipped him, he was so desperate to go he pissed in my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11934) - you totally deserved it (5464)
On 02/17/2010 at 7:24pm - misc - by missunlucky (woman) - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)
Today, I went to the shops with my little sister. We had to walk through the lingerie section of the store to get to another part. My sister then yells at the top of her voice 'stop following me you freak'. I had security escort me out of the store, and got many dirty looks. She thought it was hilarious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15466) - you totally deserved it (1252)
On 02/16/2010 at 3:18am - misc - by Timv86 (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my daughter told me she wanted to be a stripper when she grew up, just like daddy's girlfriend. We're still married. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23020) - you totally deserved it (1776)
On 02/15/2010 at 1:58pm - love - by ShayisPay101 (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, while losing my virginity to my boyfriend, I had my first orgasm. I don't remember much of what I said during, but after it was all over, he looks at me and says, "You have terrible grammar during climax." FML
I agree, your life sucks (3462) - you totally deserved it (1249)
On 02/14/2010 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by klsdhjla (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was in the car with my 16 year old daughter. There was a guy on a fast looking motorcycle next to me at the stop light. I yelled to him to "get it up!" so that he would do a wheelie. Just before the light turned green he yelled back, "You're too old for me, but I'll get it up for her!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (1608) - you totally deserved it (5289)
On 02/05/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I met a guy online, and I realized the cyber sex I had with him was better than the sex I get from my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1886) - you totally deserved it (4767)
On 02/04/2010 at 9:51am - intimacy - by erin - Sent from a mobile version
Today, I helped my little sister sell chocolate bars for her school. We went up to this one house and rang the door bell, a man wearing a robe answers the door and was going to buy one. He went to get the money and left the door open, then we saw our happily married mother in the kitchen naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32225) - you totally deserved it (893)
On 02/03/2010 at 7:30pm - misc - by Mac (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was developing film at walmart. It started to get a little warm, so I began taking off my sweatshirt. This creepy old man approaches me, saying "You know, usually girls like you are paid to take their clothes off." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16522) - you totally deserved it (2098)
On 02/03/2010 at 1:24am - misc - by hotandbothered (woman) - United States (Texas)
