About skatoolaki : A formally-interesting person of interest with a passion for writing and graving, I am the proprietor of a long neglected website (skatoolaki.com) and blog (digitopus.com). As is apparent, I'm also a highly skilled and adept procrastinator.
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skatoolaki's favorite FMLs
Today, my boyfriend and I were planning on having sex. He first excused himself to the bathroom, then returned with a sad face saying he had fumbled with himself in the bathroom to get "ready" and accidentally came. He said, "I was thinking of you though." FML
by hahaohyeahwow / 09/24/2014 at 12:24am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
by Tag / 09/23/2014 at 9:19pm / Australia / Love
Today, we spent an entire day without being able to do work because our internet connection was down. Turns out, only the router had crashed and nobody bothered to reset it "to avoid doing further damage". FML
by disconnected / 09/23/2014 at 4:19pm / Brazil (Rio Grande do Sul) / Work
by Anonymous / 09/20/2014 at 11:28am / Sweden (Vastra Gotaland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was mugged. I saw a cop car in the aftermath and flagged it down. Unfortunately, when the cops stopped the mugger, he said he'd been running away because I tried to mug him. Apparently the fact that he was "well-dressed" and I wasn't means he was telling the truth. FML
by Anonymous / 09/16/2014 at 10:34am / United States (Connecticut) / Money
by Anonymous / 09/13/2014 at 2:56am / Canada (Alberta) / Animals
Today, I had to take my husband's laptop to University for an in-class exam. I opened the screen, and loud porn started to auto-play. The silence in the class was deafening as I tried to make it stop. FML
by Anonymous / 09/12/2014 at 9:17am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, I chatted to a nice guy and gave him my number. I told him I was going to sleep because I had a headache, and then put my phone on silent. He rang multiple times, and when I obviously didn't pick up, he sent several texts insulting me and calling me gutless for not responding. FML
by Anonymous / 09/09/2014 at 12:16pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Love
Today, my husband injured his back badly. He's taken three percocets, because according to him, he knows the dosage better than his doctor, and is demanding that I let him drive himself to work, with no pants on. FML
by jkim / 09/08/2014 at 1:56pm / United States (California) / Health
Today, I came home early to surprise my wife. No, it's not what you're thinking: I didn't find her cheating on me. She wasn't even home, but my dad was. He'd used his spare key and was on my sofa, drinking my beer and watching my TV. The first words out of his mouth? "Your beer's shit." FML
by Anonymous / 09/06/2014 at 5:08pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Love
by onlywantuanyway / 09/05/2014 at 6:59pm / Intimacy
by candy man / 09/04/2014 at 3:32pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
by mayoshampoo / 09/01/2014 at 12:59pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, while walking to work, I found out what it feels like to be hit in the face by a rolled up newspaper thrown from the window of a moving car by a paper boy doing his rounds. It hit hard enough to give me a black eye. FML
by newswithabitofbite / 08/28/2014 at 6:31am / Australia (Victoria) / Work
Today, it's been almost a week since I returned from my vacation to Ireland. Before I rarely drank. Now I'm pretty sure I'm an alcoholic. You might think I'm joking, but I've woken up hungover every day since I landed there. I basically paid to kill my liver and become AA's next poster child. FML
by Anonymous / 08/25/2014 at 12:01pm / United States (New York) / Holidays
- Today, I’m in Thailand and I met a monk. The conversation was so deep and interesting that, without… Today, I’m on vacation in Peru in the Amazonian forest. I woke up in the middle of the night to the… Today, I truly understood that I was in Germany when, in my workplace, during our lunch break, one…