About skatoolaki : A formally-interesting person of interest with a passion for writing and graving, I am the proprietor of a long neglected website (skatoolaki.com) and blog (digitopus.com). As is apparent, I'm also a highly skilled and adept procrastinator.
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skatoolaki's favorite FMLs
Today, I was shopping when a woman stopped me and asked me what lipgloss I was wearing because my lips looked gorgeous. I had to explain to her it was just the grease from the Slim Jim I had just eaten. FML
by Anonymos_fmler / 10/20/2014 at 8:38pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found a book in my attic that I always read when I was a kid. For old times sake I read it again. On the very first page, child me had written, "Go to page 15" so I did. On page 15, in big red letters, it said, "Get bent". I got pranked by myself. FML
by Deadpool434 / 10/19/2014 at 3:27pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Miscellaneous
Today, my wife yelled at me for being a bastard and not caring about her needs. I felt like an asshole and apologized for everything. It took me a few hours to realize I'd basically just apologized for unknowingly hanging the toilet paper the "wrong way" for her OCD. FML
by Anonymous / 10/16/2014 at 3:30pm / United States (Michigan) / Love
by Anonymous / 10/16/2014 at 1:07pm / United States (Michigan) / Love
by badplacerightnow / 10/13/2014 at 10:15am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I and a coworker got bitched out and suspended by our boss after our computers got infected with a weird porn virus. It soon turned out the virus had come from our boss' infected memory stick. Did he apologize? No. Is our suspension still in force? Yes. FML
by shatfjord / 10/10/2014 at 6:34pm / United States (New York) / Work
Today, I was sitting on a bench at the local park, eating a banana. A guy old enough to be my grandfather walked by, turned to look at me, then said "Young man, I wish I were that banana." He walked away, and I almost blacked out choking on it in shock. FML
by Operation Yewtree here I come / 09/26/2014 at 4:40pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous
Today, I have such severe ADD that I can't focus without my medication. When I take the medication, I can only focus on one thing, but not necessarily the thing I need to be focusing on. I have a chem test soon, and I've been vacuuming my room for the past 4 hours. FML
by Anonymous / 09/25/2014 at 3:32pm / United States (Texas) / Health
Today, my insane roommate yelled at me for using the word "stupid" because apparently it is a slur against mentally disabled people. Later, she went on and on about this "queer" club she's attending to meet "queer" people to talk about "queer" issues. She's not gay. I am. FML
by TooLesbian / 09/24/2014 at 10:33pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend and I were planning on having sex. He first excused himself to the bathroom, then returned with a sad face saying he had fumbled with himself in the bathroom to get "ready" and accidentally came. He said, "I was thinking of you though." FML
by hahaohyeahwow / 09/24/2014 at 12:24am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
Today, we spent an entire day without being able to do work because our internet connection was down. Turns out, only the router had crashed and nobody bothered to reset it "to avoid doing further damage". FML
by disconnected / 09/23/2014 at 4:19pm / Brazil (Rio Grande do Sul) / Work
by Anonymous / 09/20/2014 at 11:28am / Sweden (Vastra Gotaland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was mugged. I saw a cop car in the aftermath and flagged it down. Unfortunately, when the cops stopped the mugger, he said he'd been running away because I tried to mug him. Apparently the fact that he was "well-dressed" and I wasn't means he was telling the truth. FML
by Anonymous / 09/16/2014 at 10:34am / United States (Connecticut) / Money
by Anonymous / 09/13/2014 at 2:56am / Canada (Alberta) / Animals