About skatoolaki : A formally-interesting person of interest with a passion for writing and graving, I am the proprietor of a long neglected website (skatoolaki.com) and blog (digitopus.com). As is apparent, I'm also a highly skilled and adept procrastinator.
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skatoolaki's favorite FMLs
by bobjope / 02/27/2015 at 11:14pm / Miscellaneous
Today, I saw my grandma had registered on Facebook, so I wrote a welcome post on her wall. She replied "Delete." several times, then called me, accusing me of "hacking" her and demanding that I remove my name from her page at once. FML
by Y_Y / 02/27/2015 at 3:20pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my youngest daughter finally started using the toilet on her own. That is, until her older sister showed her the South Park episode where someone gets their intestines sucked out by flushing the toilet. Now she won't go anywhere near the bathroom. FML
by Investing in Toilet Seatbelts / 02/14/2015 at 4:46am / United States (Nevada) / Kids
by Mkimmi / 02/12/2015 at 2:39am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 02/11/2015 at 3:40pm / France (Bretagne) / Miscellaneous
Today, my husband recited to me the name and model number of every single weapon in the game Doom, along with what they did and roughly where to find them. Last month, he forgot my birthday. We've been married for 6 years; he hasn't played Doom in at least 10. FML
by doomed / 02/10/2015 at 7:00pm / United States (Washington) / Love
by gali-ma / 02/07/2015 at 7:52am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/07/2015 at 6:51am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, it's been 3 months since my dog scratched my 9 year old granddaughter after she walked over and repeatedly kicked him. My daughter has disowned me and won't let me see my own grandchildren until I have my companion of 11 years "destroyed". FML
by Anonymous / 01/24/2015 at 1:33pm / Romania (Giurgiu) / Animals
by good2know / 01/09/2015 at 6:09pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, I went into labor and got my husband drive me to the hospital. Instead of staying by my side, he rushed back home for a World of Warcraft raid. His excuse? His friends were counting on him and they'd be pissed if he let them down. FML
by Lady Cuntsnatch of Fallopia / 01/03/2015 at 8:30pm / United States (California) / Health
Today, my mom got me a Christmas present. Since I'm a whovian, she thought it would be cool to get me what she thought was a sonic screwdriver. It was actually a dildo shaped as one. I opened the gift in front of my entire family. FML
by whovian / 12/25/2014 at 10:17am / United States (Maine) / Intimacy
Today, a customer came in with a laptop smashed beyond repair. She asked if we could recover her files, but thanks to my idiot boss' new store policy I had to ask her a bunch of questions, including if she had tried "turning it on and off". She stared at me, speechless, like I was a complete moron. FML
Today, my Canadian friend is staying a few days at my parents' house. I drove him from the airport, only to find my idiot dad had decked the spare room out with maple syrup bottles. He keeps saying "eh" all the time and asked "What's he so upset aboot?" when my friend was offended. FML
by ehxtraordinarily pissed / 12/13/2014 at 1:36pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous
by Nicole / 12/13/2014 at 10:20am / United States / Intimacy
- Today, While at a resort, my friends and I decided to go to the indoor pool. I was surprised when I… Today, while on a ride at a water park, someone stole my thongs. The ground is hot enough to burn… Today while walking to the shop under the blistering African sun, I stepped on something that stuck…