About skatoolaki : A formally-interesting person of interest with a passion for writing and graving, I am the proprietor of a long neglected website (skatoolaki.com) and blog (digitopus.com). As is apparent, I'm also a highly skilled and adept procrastinator.
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skatoolaki's favorite FMLs
Today, I had a call to the rodent rescue I run. They wanted to know if we had any mice for adoption and how much they cost. I told them that we had over 30 mice, and that we don't charge but do take donations. They said, "That's fantastic! I've been struggling to find snake food that isn't frozen!" FML
by bekkylove22 / 05/27/2015 at 4:45am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Animals
by Anon / 05/24/2015 at 9:14pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by Hyenayena / 05/23/2015 at 5:04pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work
Today, I checked my son's browser history, as he's been acting strangely around his computer recently. I found several bizarre Google searches, including but not limited to: "unicorn dick-farts", "sharting kittens", and "can you get AIDS from Asians?" What the fuck is wrong with him? FML
by Anonymous / 05/22/2015 at 2:17pm / United Kingdom (Havering) / Kids
Today, we were discussing evolution at the super-religious school I'm forced to attend. I mentioned homo sapiens, and my teacher mockingly replied, "You actually believe in homo sapiens? Hahahah!" The whole class started laughing. No, not at the teacher; at me. FML
by homo fuckofftus / 05/22/2015 at 1:10pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/15/2015 at 7:55pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/23/2015 at 1:04pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
Today, my dad sat me down and angrily accused me of doing drugs, all because he's noticed I've recently become a lot more energetic and emotional than usual. The truth is, I'd been smoking weed daily for 3 years and just decided to never smoke it again 2 weeks ago. FML
by Anonymous / 04/22/2015 at 9:39am / United States (Ohio) / Health
by PrettySureItsReal / 04/09/2015 at 3:38pm / United States (Missouri) / Work
by Anonymous / 04/08/2015 at 6:52am / United States (California) / Love
Today, at the DMV I was told I had to prove, with a doctor's note, that I was an amputee and my disability was permanent to get my placard. Apparently, setting my prosthetic leg on the counter wasn't proof enough, and is considered "threatening". The police were called. FML
by usadisvet / 04/02/2015 at 2:43am / United States (Tennessee) / Health
Today, when I dropped my 6-year-old daughter off at school, a little boy ran up to her so I asked his name. My daughter explained: "Oh, don't pay any attention to him, he's my slave. He's come to carry my bag. See you later, mom!" FML
by mafille / 03/18/2015 at 11:22pm / France / Kids
by Anonymous / 03/13/2015 at 3:35pm / Bahrain (Al Manamah) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 03/05/2015 at 10:19pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I was in the car with my 16 year old daughter. There was a guy on a fast looking motorcycle… Today, I asked my boyfriend if he could finally go down on me. He said, "No, that's disgusting" and… Today, I kindly asked my boyfriend to shave his pubic hair to make oral sex more enjoyable for me.…