About sk8_king : love playing football, xbox, and listening to music. I'm a pretty simple guy. also on a side note I hate grammar nazis. this is FML not freakin english class
sk8_king's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
What'cha looking at?
You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
sk8_king's favorite FMLs
Today, my husband yelled from upstairs, "Babe! BABE, COME QUICK!" Terrified that something might have happened to our newborn daughter, I rushed up, only to find out he just wanted to show me that he'd learned how to spin a top on the tip of his penis without it falling. FML
by -____- / 10/05/2013 at 5:28pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
Today, I was reminded that while I have a nice waist, bum and boobs, I'm unspeakably ugly. I was walking down the street when a guy wolf-whistled from behind me, and when I turned around, he visibly recoiled in disgust. FML
by british_babe / 10/05/2013 at 1:51pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/05/2013 at 2:56am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by pancakelicious / 10/04/2013 at 7:16am / New Zealand / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 10/03/2013 at 4:14am / Australia (Victoria) / Love
by sothisishowidie / 09/30/2013 at 7:18am / Guam / Miscellaneous
by -__-" / 09/29/2013 at 1:45am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, at work, a lady came in to have her glasses fixed. When she opened her case, an earwig crawled out. Instead of trying to kill it, she just left it and watched as it crawled over my desk and behind my computer. I later found the earwig in my hair. FML
by browngirl / 09/29/2013 at 12:16am / Canada (British Columbia) / Work
Today, I texted a cute picture of my boyfriend and me to my mom, who lives very far away. She replied saying that my Photoshop skills are great, but that I don't need to go so far to pretend that anyone would date me, and that there's no shame in being single at 25. FML
by Anonymous / 09/29/2013 at 12:12am / United States / Love
Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner and have to leave in shame. FML
by :( / 09/28/2013 at 5:24pm / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/27/2013 at 4:33pm / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML
by SerenityJ / 09/27/2013 at 4:00pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I learned that an antidepressant that works too well is a stimulant. I've been jittering and twitching like a meth-head, and my co-workers are asking when Jesse will be showing up with my "stuff". FML
by CancerFdMyLife / 09/26/2013 at 9:50am / United States (District of Columbia) / Health
by so_screwed / 09/25/2013 at 2:59am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I found out that the nice guy who comes to my workplace every morning to bring me a smoothie also makes a point of putting his knob in it before giving it to me. Also, all my coworkers knew about this and think it's hilarious. FML
by littledipper / 09/24/2013 at 11:51pm / United States (New York) / Work
- Today, while lying in bed with my boyfriend after some steamy lovemaking, he sat up, slapped my ass… Today, there were no more seats on the bus I was taking home, which meant I had to stand. I noticed… Today, my dad told me he had been seeing someone for a while and has decided to marry her. When I…