About sk8_king : love playing football, xbox, and listening to music. I'm a pretty simple guy. also on a side note I hate grammar nazis. this is FML not freakin english class
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sk8_king's favorite FMLs
Today, a girl and I were flirting and it was going well. Feeling bold, I asked what she would do if I kissed her. She smiled flirtatiously and said "Why don't you try it and find out?" I went in for a kiss, and she slapped me. FML
by smooth / 11/21/2013 at 11:10am / United States / Miscellaneous
by flavored / 11/18/2013 at 10:26am / United States / Intimacy
Today, during school, I passed out in the lunch line and hit my head on the metal rail as I fell. Rather than helping or expressing concern at all, my friends simply left my unconscious body on the floor. Why? They had to get to the lasagna before the cafeteria ran out of it. FML
by _sempiternus / 11/16/2013 at 11:18am / United States / Health
Today, my boyfriend of three years sent me a text message saying "It's over!". I sent him maybe a thousand texts saying "Why?", "What do you mean?!" After an hour of crying and whatnot, I realized he had driver's education today and that he was saying the class was over. FML
by Anonymous / 11/16/2013 at 5:06am / United States (Illinois) / Love
by BreakingTheMood / 11/13/2013 at 1:08pm / Finland (Southern Finland) / Intimacy
Today, I realized how amazing I've become at faking orgasms: I made up everything from the noises of my juices to pure, blissful climax over the phone to my husband. He came; I finished putting laundry away. FML
by CanWeAllGetOne / 11/13/2013 at 1:40am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, while taking an order over the phone for the customer at work, I began to hear slight moans. The moans gradually became faster and louder, until climax was achieved and I realized I was being used for phone sex. FML
by long day / 11/12/2013 at 3:29pm / United States (Michigan) / Work
Today, I've been awake for nearly three days due to homework and my mom's wedding preparations, so I took some adderall to keep me awake at school. I took too much, totally zoned out in class, became hopelessly fascinated by my own hand, and was accused of doing drugs. FML
by Anonymous / 11/08/2013 at 12:43pm / United States (Nebraska) / Health
Today, the guy I really like asked me if I'd like to go to a hockey game this weekend. I said I'd love to go, so he said, "Then you'd best get a ticket soon before they sell out." I still don't know if I have a date or not. FML
by Anonymous / 11/06/2013 at 12:29pm / United States (Iowa) / Love
Today, I woke up late and had to rush to catch my bus. Upon arriving at school, I was hot from running and took off my sweater. It was then, in a lecture hall with 400 people, that I realised I hadn't put a shirt on underneath. FML
by barebackingit / 11/04/2013 at 2:17pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, at work, I had to explain to my co-manager at work what a period was, after he refused to let an employee go change her tampon. Afterwards, he panicked, saying he thought women made that up so they didn't have to have sex, before trying to send her to the hospital and fainting. We're 24. FML
by TheTruthofWomen / 11/04/2013 at 12:45am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I played a friendly prank on my dad, loosening the legs of his chair so it would fall apart when he sat on it. He responded by making me stand outside and watch as he keyed both sides of my car, front to back, as punishment. FML
by Anonymous / 11/03/2013 at 4:32pm / Cyprus (Nicosia) / Miscellaneous
by SantaClaus / 11/02/2013 at 12:19am / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I told the man my girlfriend has been cheating on me with all about her infidelity. He didn't get angry; he just said that he knew, that they were in an open relationship, and that I was pretty stupid to have not figured it out sooner. FML
by Anonymous / 11/01/2013 at 9:20pm / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Love
Today, I got a new cell phone number and sent a text to my wife. Playing around, I said, "Hey sexy are you alone yet? I'm ready to come over." She responded with, "Hey, yeah he is at work - did you get a new number?" FML
by PapaW / 11/01/2013 at 3:01am / United States (Utah) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I moved three hours away from my boyfriend for college. Even though he got accepted to the…