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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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sjp092

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sjp092
  • Town/Country : Chicago, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 584
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Today, an elderly lady swore at me for not holding a door open for her. The door in question was automatic. FML

#8800803 (121)

I agree, your life sucks (17490) - you deserved it (1312)

On 03/03/2010 at 3:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)

Today, my dog farted next to my CPAP sleep/breathing machine. The machine sucked up her fart, compressed it, and promptly injected it up both of my nostrils. FML

#8202300 (228)

I agree, your life sucks (26950) - you deserved it (2204)

On 02/13/2010 at 11:08am - animals - by Dog fart - United States

Today, in art class, I tried to attract my crush's attention by slowly sitting down in front of him. Too bad I missed the chair and fell onto the floor. FML

#8038952 (115)

I agree, your life sucks (5639) - you deserved it (19211)

On 02/09/2010 at 12:50am - love - by Unknown (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, a man I don't know came up to me and started screaming about how "all you damn Mexicans were stealing American's jobs" and he stormed off. I'm Native American, and I'm pretty sure we've been here longer. FML

#7482237 (50)

I agree, your life sucks (38304) - you deserved it (2702)

On 01/21/2010 at 7:45pm - misc - by hardtotell (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, as I showered, I sneezed, hit my face on the wall, got shampoo in my eyes, slipped on a bar of soap, bashed my head on the wall as I fell, grabbed at the walls to stop me from falling and happened to turn off the cold water, scorching me. FML

#7391699 (210)

I agree, your life sucks (35939) - you deserved it (3949)

On 01/17/2010 at 1:22am - health - by Concussed (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I took a friend home from the hospital. She was on medication that made her drowsy. She fell onto her bed and asked me to help her take off some clothes since she had her winter gear on. She passes out and her roommate walks in and catches me undressing an unconscious girl. FML

#6914931 (82)

I agree, your life sucks (25294) - you deserved it (1935)

On 12/24/2009 at 1:09am - love - by Nemesis2747 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I mailed out all my Christmas cards. As I was relaxing and being impressed with myself for being so organized this year, I saw the stack of Christmas cards on the coffee table. Everyone will be receiving an empty envelope for Christmas this year. FML

#6680637 (79)

I agree, your life sucks (6076) - you deserved it (22780)

On 12/09/2009 at 1:58pm - misc - by ChristmasCardDork (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I farted while I was in line at the bank. I tried to pretend it wasn't me by looking at the man behind me and turning back with a disgusted look on my face. I thought I had gotten away with it when the man yells "It wasn't me, this bitch did it". FML

#4651502 (157)

I agree, your life sucks (5391) - you deserved it (58557)

On 08/19/2009 at 7:39am - misc - by moutz (woman) - Australia (Victoria)