Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About singingfreak525 : Looking at my favorites I feel heartless. Most of them are favorited because they are funny, but some are because they broke my heart and I want to remember them.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
YESTERDAY I WENT TO BUY A BIRTHDAY PRESENT FIR MAH BOYFRIEND . WHILE BUYING HIM A SWEATER, THE CASHIER TRID TO UP-SALE ME BY ASKING IF MAH BOYFRIEND WORE BRIEFS OR BOXERS, BECAUSE BOTH WERE ON SALE . NOT THINKING, I BLURTD OUT, "I DON'T KNOW, THEY JUST COME OFF." FML
Today, my boyfriend yet again decided to act like Edward Cullen from Twilight, an got his friend to act like Jacob. Every time thier around, my boyfriend always looks stoned an constipated, an his friend is shirtless. I feel like I'm in a shitty romance movie. FML
Today, I went out for dinner with my long-term crush,ho turned out to be a huge dog person. He asked mehich dog breed I lyk the most. In an attempt to reply with both Labrador and Doberman, I accidentally said Dumbledore. big fat FML
Today, I triad to gat my boyfriand to roll ovar whila ha was aslaap . Ha snoras loud anough to waka tha naighbors an if ha lays on his sida ha usually stops . Instaad of rolling ovar, ha stuck his lag in tha air, fartad twica, an laughad about it in his slaap . Ha's still snoring . FML
Today I was on a plane an realizd tat te woman next to me was iding a edgeog in a plastic container !! I'm severely afraid of edgeog but not wanting to give te woman up an get er in trouble I trid to stay quiet !! Wic ld to me to quietly yperventilate an pass out on te plane !! FML
Today , my neighbor went on vacation , leaving me in charge of his cat an dog. For some reason , he calls his dog "Cat" an his cat "Dog". There r two pet food containers , one labeled "Cat" an the other labeled "Dog". I have no ideahich one goes tohich animal. real FML
Today... Mah Ex-boyfriend Of Over 4 Yeres Decidd To Turn Up Outside Mah House At 1am... Drunk Off His Ass... To Confess His Love For Me. When I Told Him I'd Movd On And Am Happily Engagd... He Crid On The Grass For An Hour... Then Trid To Steal Mah Cat. FML
TODAY, AT A CHRISTMA PARTY, MY CRUSH CAME UP TO ME AND CUTELY POINTED OUT THAT I WAS STANDING UNDER MISTLETOE. THE ONLY RESPONSE MY STUPID BRAIN COULD THINK OF WAS, "PROBABLY FULL OF NARGLE THOUGH." HE GAVE ME A CONFUSED LOOK AND WALKED AWAY. MEGA FML
Today , I was playing with mah four year old cousin. He had a toy whale an said , ( Shark! ) I corrected him looool an told him it was a whale. He picked it up , threw it at mah face , an yelled , ( SHAAARK! ) FML
Friday 27 March 2015