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simsimbeep's FML badges
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
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simsimbeep's favorite FMLs
by fucked / 02/06/2015 at 3:06am / Singapore / Work
Today, I was shopping with my dad and I saw one of my guy friends, so we waved and smiled at each other. My dad clearly thought his wave was too "romantic", because he shouted at him, "Touch her, and I'll kill you." FML
by Dear Lord Save Me / 01/03/2015 at 10:56pm / United Kingdom (Merthyr Tydfil) / Miscellaneous
Today, I slept on the plane ride home and had a scary nightmare. I started screaming in my dream, so loud that it shocked the old lady sitting next to me into screaming as well. The whole plane began laughing as we were both screaming. FML
by danielzcwu / 12/29/2014 at 2:11pm / Taiwan (T'ai-pei) / Transportation
Today, on a first date with a guy, I spilled ice cream all over my pants. He bought me some more, and as I was thanking him, he said, "You've never had a guy treat you right, have you?" I said no and started crying. FML
by Soulara89 / 12/22/2014 at 8:28pm / United States (Florida) / Love
Today, I went to dinner at my parents' house. I was going to surprise them by introducing them to my new boyfriend. They decided to surprise me too, by inviting my ex to the dinner. Everyone was surprised tonight. FML
by Michelle / 12/05/2014 at 10:35pm / United States (Maryland) / Love
Today, I met an American guy at a bar. I felt flattered when he said, "You know what they say about Swedish girls, all so beautiful." After a pause, he filled in with, "What the fuck happened to you?" FML
by peceout / 12/02/2014 at 3:48am / Sweden (Hallands Lan) / Love
by pooplife / 11/30/2014 at 2:32pm / United Kingdom (Nottingham) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/25/2014 at 3:15pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I have to deal with being laughed at by my mother and sister, because they keep making sharp movements towards me, causing me to flinch. This is because I got mugged and beaten last night. They think it's hysterical. FML
by Anonymous / 11/23/2014 at 12:10pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I spent nearly an hour helping a customer pick out an engagement ring. I rang him up, picked out a super cute box for the ring, and wished him luck. Later I realized I never put the ring inside the box. FML
by KilledTheMoment / 11/23/2014 at 1:10am / United States (Illinois) / Work
by Anonymous / 11/17/2014 at 5:00pm / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I slept over at my new boyfriend's house for the first time. When I woke up in the morning, he told me all about how much gas I'd had through the night. He said he thought he had a grown man in his bed instead of me. FML
by Isa_Marie0113 / 11/03/2014 at 6:32pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love
Today, I was singing in my dorm. When I left a little later, a cute guy came up to me and asked if I was the girl who'd been singing. I proudly said yes. He replied, "Good thing you finally shut the fuck up!" and walked away. FML
by Anonymous / 11/02/2014 at 11:44am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by jay-frey96 / 11/02/2014 at 10:36am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by That Guy / 11/01/2014 at 8:58am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I moved three hours away from my boyfriend for college. Even though he got accepted to the…