ROFLCOASTERS
IM: jillxo12 hit it uppp
Today, I was serving a family at the restaurant where I work. When I went to ask the little girl what she wanted, I was tongue-tied and got "cutie" and "hun" mixed up and ended up asking: "What can I get for you cuntie?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (41845) - you totally deserved it (10701)
On 05/08/2009 at 4:53pm - work - by keeks_25 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, this guy I like let me wear his favorite baseball hat that he never takes off. I returned it to him later, only to find out I have lice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40464) - you totally deserved it (9624)
On 04/28/2009 at 9:07pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I was on a small plane. A flight attendant told us that there was too much weight in the front of the plane and they needed 3 people to move to the back of the plane. I volunteer and walk to the back. She says, "Okay, we're going to need 1 more person." FML
I agree, your life sucks (48828) - you totally deserved it (6489)
On 04/13/2009 at 12:39am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, the girl I have had a crush on for the last 4 months asked me on AIM how to block someone. 30 seconds after I finished explaining how to block someone on iChat, she went offline and I haven't seen her on AIM since. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52832) - you totally deserved it (7771)
On 04/12/2009 at 3:46pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I walked into the confession booth for the 1st time and start to tell my sins. I mentioned how I had sex with multiple men over the last month. I began to continue telling my sins, until I heard laughter. It turned out my brother was playing hid and seek. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42358) - you totally deserved it (6819)
On 04/10/2009 at 12:48pm - misc - by vic - United States (Illinois)
Today, my tampon string was hanging from my bathing suit. My boyfriend thought it was a thread hanging from my bikini bottom. He publicly pulled out my tampon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (106503) - you totally deserved it (9963)
On 04/03/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by rebekah (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I got into a huge fight with my boyfriend after driving 200 miles to see him. While arguing, I told him I never wanted to see him again and left after slamming the front door. I left my car keys in his kitchen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12548) - you totally deserved it (38517)
On 04/02/2009 at 4:16pm - misc - by nokeys (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was going through my old MSN conversations. I then realized that when I first got MSN, I didn't know that messages you sent after people went offline would be delivered to them when they signed in. I used to type 'I love you' to my crush after every time he went offline. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20862) - you totally deserved it (55716)
On 03/28/2009 at 6:13pm - love - by WeezysBaby (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I called my mom to tell her: "Mom, I finally got my period!" There was an awkward pause. She was at work. I was on speakerphone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45511) - you totally deserved it (14775)
On 03/27/2009 at 3:15pm - health - by Crampon (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was texting two people at once. Trying to respond to my friend's text, I accidentally clicked on this guy's name instead, who I've never met. He just told me about his grandma's funeral he went to that was an open casket. I responded with, "Haha wow you slut, I'm sure you were aroused." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15507) - you totally deserved it (52721)
On 03/25/2009 at 10:48pm - misc - by ohhotdamn (woman) - United States (Kansas)
Today I noticed that my daughter was making funny noises which oddly ressembled the sounds my wife makes in bed. When I asked her what she was doing she said "I'm pretending to be mommy from last night." I was on a business trip last night. FML
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On 03/19/2009 at 12:49pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was watching this TV show where a man was describing how much he loved this woman, how he made every opportunity to see her, and how he loved her in a way nobody else could. I smiled, because that's exactly the way I feel about my crush. Then I realized the program was about stalkers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48218) - you totally deserved it (16428)
On 03/18/2009 at 12:42pm - misc - by bluten (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I decided to ask my friend to the school dance. It's one where the girls ask the guys. I spent hours placing signs down his street so he would see them on his way home. As I'm waiting in his driveway with balloons I see his car reverse and go the other direction. FML
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On 03/17/2009 at 4:44pm - misc - by SmileEveryday (woman) - United States (California)
Today, at the dinner table my parents were talking to my younger sister about her new boyfriend and how they should be taking it slow. My sister then pointed out that that's not what I do. My dad said, "Believe me I know- your sister's easier to get into than community college." FML
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On 03/13/2009 at 4:54pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my boyfriend and I were choosing animals that reminded us of eachother. I said he reminded me of a tiger because he is really muscular. He told me I reminded him of a zebra. When I asked him why, he said it was because of my stretchmarks. FML
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On 03/13/2009 at 4:03pm - love - by Noname (woman) - United States (California)
