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simplysarcastics

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simplysarcastics

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1168
  • Number of comments : 187
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About simplysarcastics : You will know nothing... Keep it moving bitches.

simplysarcastics's page activity

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simplysarcastics's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of simplysarcastics's badges

simplysarcastics's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when we heard a screech. My two cats were having it harder than us. FML

#21241441
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12398) - you deserved it (1615)

On 08/20/2014 at 2:07am - intimacy - by Mia (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, it's the 16th day of my period. FML

#21241406
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18346) - you deserved it (1158)

On 08/20/2014 at 1:15am - health - by BagelTheOtaku (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I finally worked up the nerve to talk to the girl I like. After awkwardly saying hi, I manage to work up a nice conversation with her. I thought everything was going well, until I got home and realized that she had stolen money out of my wallet. FML

#21240655
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28545) - you deserved it (2933)

On 08/18/2014 at 8:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I went to a baseball game with my girlfriend's dad. I got a boner when they sang the anthem, because that's what I sing in my head when having sex with his daughter so I last longer. FML

#21240482
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32582) - you deserved it (11013)

On 08/18/2014 at 12:39pm - intimacy - by embarrassed - United States (New York)

Today, I had to awkwardly grab my pink dildo after my husband's friend asked what it was that my dog was chewing on. FML

Today, while I was at the dentist, I couldn't stop gagging when he tried to put a tab in my mouth to get an x-ray. As I left, I overheard him saying, "I feel sorry for her boyfriend." FML

#21238932
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39742) - you deserved it (6462)

On 08/16/2014 at 12:03pm - intimacy - by gag reflex - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I tried skydiving for the first time. The professional I was attached to had a boner the whole way down. FML

#21237831
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42904) - you deserved it (4185)

On 08/14/2014 at 11:36pm - intimacy - by emmamrose7 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realized my dog looks at me with way more love in his eyes than my own boyfriend does. FML

#21237384
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33762) - you deserved it (4422)

On 08/14/2014 at 11:06am - animals - by hopeless romantic - United States (Ohio)

Today, I took part in a raffle that was being organised in the small countryside village where I'm vacationing. I live in big city. I won a duck. A real, live duck. FML

#21237143
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32678) - you deserved it (7580) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/14/2014 at 12:38am - animals - by Anonymous - France

Today, at the beach, I noticed a plastic bag in the water. I wanted to do something good for a change, help protect the environment and get it out. It wasn't a bag; it was a jellyfish. FML

#21236316
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36790) - you deserved it (8208) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/13/2014 at 12:28am - animals - by Muwz - Sent from mobile version

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

#21235845
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35426) - you deserved it (21440)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by not a dick-man (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, a customer came into McDonalds and placed his order. He insisted on putting each coin on the counter rather than handing them straight to me, because he doesn't like touching "poor people". FML

#21234971
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43014) - you deserved it (3256)

On 08/11/2014 at 3:54pm - work - by poorman (man) - United States (California)

Today, my coworkers and I were comparing the backgrounds we have on our phones. They pretty much sum up our love lives; everyone else's background is a photo of their boyfriend or girlfriend. Mine's a photo of a lifeless desert. FML

#21235038
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33744) - you deserved it (4071) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/11/2014 at 3:05pm - love - by Fennec (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I heard my sister gagging in her room. She was doing it quietly, and I got pretty concerned, after hearing a lot about bulimia recently. I knocked, then heard a gasp, so I let myself in, only to see her on her knees and her boyfriend with his underwear around his ankles. FML

#21233355
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46047) - you deserved it (18078)

On 08/09/2014 at 3:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I found a piece of erotic fiction on my brother's computer. It involved two lesbian teenagers, who just so happened to have the same names and physical descriptions as my sister and me. FML

#21233221
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41237) - you deserved it (3750)

On 08/09/2014 at 11:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - India (Maharashtra)



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