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simplysarcastics

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simplysarcastics
  • Town/Country : Somewhere, U.S.
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 802
  • Number of comments : 173
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About simplysarcastics : #Prayers for Katie.


Hiylo peoples. The name is Erin. I can be sarcastic yet very helpful :))) I am at times quite funny. I am a cool 90's kid, (1993) I love nintendo... Zelda, Mario, yes I am about that life.

I am an animal lover. Some people are okay, I just know how more people are bad than good. I am usually targeted for being real, and speaking the truth. But so was Mother Teresa, Moses, Noah, and MLK. But if they hated/mistreated Jesus then of course they will hate whoever is right. I get thumbed down sometimes, but who cares. I also get thumbs up. If you rolling with me thats awesome, great minds think alike.

Faith keeps me strong. I love music, I am smart, talented, and blessed.

There is so much more to say but I can't trust that you deserve to know... Probably not. Confidential snitches!!! Wait, have I already said to much???!

Eh...
Bye Now
^_^

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simplysarcastics's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a call from the police that my house had been burglarized, but an off-duty cop caught the criminal. I pull up to see my detained, psycho ex-boyfriend sheepishly grinning at me. He had three of my lace panties and two of my bras, claiming it was "all for memories sake". FML

#21115090
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33677) - you deserved it (2567)

On 04/16/2014 at 11:14pm - love - by exasperated (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to a restaurant for a friend's birthday. There were two very attractive waiters. They waited until I went to the toilet to sit down, talk to my friends and hit on them. They promptly left upon my return. Men avoid me. FML

Today, I was telling my dad about how annoying it was to constantly have my ten-year-old cousin message me about her new boyfriend, when he suddenly bursts out laughing about how she can get a boyfriend at ten, and I have never even kissed a guy and I'm seventeen. FML

#21114115
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32318) - you deserved it (3853)

On 04/15/2014 at 10:18pm - love - by Foreveralone17362562 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my professor ran half a mile in the pouring rain just to return my cell phone, which I had left behind in lecture. Shocked and embarrassed, I exclaimed, "You shouldn't have!" "Damn right," he responded, "I'm 64 years old." FML

#21113974
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30887) - you deserved it (8685)

On 04/15/2014 at 7:18pm - work - by sad but true. - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I graduated from Basic Training. I was really looking forward to seeing my family after being away for almost three months. They decided not to come to graduation because they didn't want to spend the money to travel here. They live 30 minutes away. FML

#21108820
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44693) - you deserved it (2736)

On 04/09/2014 at 7:47pm - money - by CheapFamily - United States

Today, I borrowed my friend's car to go deliver a tent I sold online. His possessive girlfriend tailed me, not knowing I was driving. She then rear-ended me when I stopped, thinking I was her man, and was cheating. When she realized the situation, she accused me of hiding him. FML

Today, while on a first date, I had to excuse myself to the restroom. I was still tired from pulling an all-nighter, and fell asleep on the toilet. When I woke up and rushed back out, my date was gone. Everyone now thinks I'm an arsehole who pulled the old "window escape" trick on her. FML

#21106078
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38213) - you deserved it (10662)

On 04/06/2014 at 5:07pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I found out that my three closest online friends are the same person: my obsessive ex. I met all three before he and I even started dating. FML

#21105963
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37476) - you deserved it (4809)

On 04/06/2014 at 2:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I called my mom to ask for some help with my dishwasher. Somehow, the call got turned into a video call. I was wearing a bathrobe, and she was naked in her bathroom. Most awkward call ever. FML

#21105694
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35633) - you deserved it (4078)

On 04/06/2014 at 2:57am - misc - by FaceTime issues - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was having my birthday party. My dad showed up late, blind drunk, and drove his car straight through my garage door. FML

#21105340
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38505) - you deserved it (2748)

On 04/05/2014 at 6:04pm - misc - by as-salamu alaykum, motherfucker - United Kingdom (Wirral)

Today, I found out that the squeaking I've heard for the past three months, that I thought was my guinea pig, is actually my girlfriend cheating on me with my older brother. FML

#21105078
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53376) - you deserved it (4838)

On 04/05/2014 at 10:27am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to my crush's house. We were watching a movie when suddenly he started kissing me. As it deepened he began to feel around. He was groping my armpit the whole time but I was too embarrassed that my underarm could pass for my boobs to redirect him. FML

#21104962
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36277) - you deserved it (5451)

On 04/05/2014 at 3:14am - intimacy - by armtits and big pits - United States (Florida)

Today, I was feeling adventurous and decided to freeball it to school. As I went to sit down during first class, I managed to sit on my own balls, scream, then collapse on the floor gasping. My teacher thought I was screwing around and gave me detention. FML

#21104415
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30253) - you deserved it (16627)

On 04/04/2014 at 1:26pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Dominican Republic (Distrito Nacional)

Today, while showering, I pulled on my white exfoliating gloves ready to wash my face. As I was about to use them, a dark stain caught my eye so I sniffed the mark only to discover it was poo. After further investigation, I find out my younger sister had been wearing them and 'experimenting'. FML

#21104331
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39400) - you deserved it (3595)

On 04/04/2014 at 10:17am - kids - by AshleyP - United Kingdom

Today, it's the last day of my sign language class. At the end of the class, my teacher surprised us by speaking for the first time, also surprising everyone that she wasn't actually deaf. It wouldn't have been so bad had I not just given someone an answer to the test, thinking she couldn't hear me. FML



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