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simplysarcastics

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simplysarcastics

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1334
  • Number of comments : 200
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About simplysarcastics : You will know nothing... Keep it moving bitches.

simplysarcastics's page activity

Visits<b>groovy579</b> - 2 hours ago<b>andy594328</b> - 20 hours ago<b>Blade12337</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 9:41am<b>buckstop1</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 10:39pm<b>brwneyes</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 9:16pm<b>josiemijn</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 3:11am<b>gingervitis217</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 4:41pm<b>Miss_Brii</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 3:06am<b>imbatmanfir</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 12:42am<b>Esoterity</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 10:53pm<b>vanessa_tranz</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 9:26pm<b>Soccer_Playr</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 8:39pm<b>Allornone</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 11:00pm<b>pikawarriors</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 9:49pm<b>deusetnatura</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 2:47pm<b>eaglerob</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 10:24pm<b>Drag0nb0rn</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 10:22pm<b>davidisbeast</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 2:08pm

Liked!<b>gr4ce_gr4ce</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 7:54pm

simplysarcastics's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of simplysarcastics's badges

simplysarcastics's favorite FMLs

Today, I was told by my doctor I should start eating meat again after two years of vegetarianism, in an effort to be healthier. After horrid gas after my first turkey sandwich, I was told that my body no longer has the enzymes to digest meat. My efforts to be healthy crippled my stomach. FML

#21264930
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26448) - you deserved it (13004)

On 09/25/2014 at 2:21am - health - by skollasch - United States (California)

Today, I had to inform my roommate that dry shampoo, deodorant, and perfume are not the same as a shower. It's been two weeks. FML

#21263853
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33725) - you deserved it (2428)

On 09/23/2014 at 2:30pm - health - by catgiraffegirl (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me that the necklace I gave her wasn't a "unique enough gift." I spent two weeks making that necklace, link by link. FML

#21257946
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42219) - you deserved it (2730)

On 09/14/2014 at 8:53am - love - by NoConfusion (man) - United States (California)

Today, I discovered that one of our cats is super creepy. He humps the blankets on my mother's bed while staring at her while she's sleeping. FML

#21257305
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36070) - you deserved it (2962)

On 09/13/2014 at 2:56am - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I tried to blink out a small speck of dirt that was caught in my eye. Instead, I learned what it feels like to suffocate a small, angry spider with your eyelid. FML

#21251632
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42595) - you deserved it (3179)

On 09/04/2014 at 2:44am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my roommate asked for my opinion of her new painting. The same painting I hand-painted for over ten hours. She apparently thought it was a gift. She won't give it back. FML

#21251580
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36977) - you deserved it (2898)

On 09/04/2014 at 12:46am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She just grabbed the ring and said in a raspy voice, "My precious..." FML

#21250558
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41381) - you deserved it (7827)

On 09/02/2014 at 2:58pm - love - by anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my goat decided my hairstyle was so last season and restyled it for me with his teeth. FML

Today, while eating cotton candy, a drunk person came up to me and said "HEY! COTTON CANDY!" And bit me. FML

#21249322
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36287) - you deserved it (2689)

On 08/31/2014 at 10:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, at my dining job, my boss told me the food was "technically illegal to serve," air quotes and all. FML

#21249316
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32286) - you deserved it (2388)

On 08/31/2014 at 9:56pm - work - by dining - United States (Iowa)

Today, I returned from my first paid vacation in the past 2 years from a place with no cell, or internet. I've just found out that our department has been downsized. FML

#21249182
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32740) - you deserved it (2198)

On 08/31/2014 at 5:51pm - work - by Happy Employee (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I learned that while other people drunk call their exes, I drunk adopt cats. Seven cats, to be exact. FML

#21248352
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40749) - you deserved it (9463)

On 08/30/2014 at 7:56am - animals - by cat lady (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, I was called in over speakers at the airport. The man who was speaking clearly and nearly burst out laughing when he said my name. Soon, a few people around also snickered when they heard it. I had to wait five minutes before I could casually stand up. My last name is Bastard. FML

#21248318
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41259) - you deserved it (3212)

On 08/30/2014 at 4:35am - misc - by poorbastard (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, after coming home from a two week vacation, my dog was pink, there were beer bottles and used condoms on my bed, and everything was a mess. I asked my sister, who'd been watching over the place, what had happened. She just said "Oops." and hung up. FML

#21246633
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36990) - you deserved it (3254)

On 08/27/2014 at 6:52pm - misc - by nayahbear24 - United States (New Jersey)



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