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simplysarcastics

Offline (the 10/30/2014 at 11:50am) | Search for a member

simplysarcastics

5Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1900
  • Number of comments : 223
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About simplysarcastics : You look absolutely stunning today

simplysarcastics's page activity

Visits<b>murtaza95</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 1:19pm<b>shivamtrivedi</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 11:38am<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 2:12am<b>pharm121</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 7:10pm<b>afroman52</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 10:19pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 9:23pm<b>Semperfi92340</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 10:08am<b>summer135790</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 11:30pm<b>bipitydooiseeyou</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 5:49am<b>darknut79</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 12:37am<b>Vanillanougat</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 5:32pm<b>VampOfSavannah</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 2:14pm<b>MrSassypants</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 8:44am<b>AviatOfficial</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 3:37am<b>GoshDude1352</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 12:17am<b>TommyG493</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 11:05pm<b>Ltsdragons</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 10:49pm<b>Harpy</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 10:49pm

Liked!<b>missmandersxoxo</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 7:35am<b>ghsthnt95</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 12:07am<b>dylanger16</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 7:48pm<b>cherrio27</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 7:40am<b>gr4ce_gr4ce</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 7:54pm

simplysarcastics's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of simplysarcastics's badges

simplysarcastics's favorite FMLs

Today, while reading 1984 on the train, a cute guy around my age and I got into a great a discussion about the book. Just when I thought he might ask for my number, he got up, patted me on the head and said it's so nice that kids my age still took interest in real literature. I'm 25. FML

#21284324
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35895) - you deserved it (2898)

On 10/24/2014 at 9:47am - misc - by anonymous - Austria (Wien)

Today, my 17-year-old son managed to easily convince my 13-year-old daughter that if you have sex before getting married, you'll instantly get horrible diseases that will kill you. Her freaking out is how I found out she's not only gullible as hell, but sexually active as well. FML

#21283066
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41205) - you deserved it (5019)

On 10/22/2014 at 12:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, I was shopping when a woman stopped me and asked me what lipgloss I was wearing because my lips looked gorgeous. I had to explain to her it was just the grease from the Slim Jim I had just eaten. FML

#21281977
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29935) - you deserved it (4754)

On 10/20/2014 at 8:38pm - misc - by Anonymos_fmler - United States (Illinois)

Today, I replied to a party invite. I thought I was only replying to the hostess, who's a close friend, so added a P. S. about a recent sex toy purchase I'd made and how rubbish it had been. I only realised after pressing "Send" that I'd selected "Reply All". FML

#21271313
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23569) - you deserved it (34643)

On 10/05/2014 at 3:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I thought I would be cute for my 1 year anniversary with my girlfriend so I cooked a three course meal for her with candles and rose petals on the floor. She loved the dinner, except now she's passed out in a food coma upstairs while I'm left with the dishes. FML

#21270586
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35485) - you deserved it (6585)

On 10/04/2014 at 9:57am - love - by cuteloser (man) - Australia

Today, my teenage daughter asked me to buy her the morning after pill, saying "It's for my acne." FML

#21270394
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35832) - you deserved it (4221)

On 10/03/2014 at 11:08pm - health - by Disappointed -

Today, I was told by my doctor I should start eating meat again after two years of vegetarianism, in an effort to be healthier. After horrid gas after my first turkey sandwich, I was told that my body no longer has the enzymes to digest meat. My efforts to be healthy crippled my stomach. FML

#21264930
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29055) - you deserved it (14537)

On 09/25/2014 at 2:21am - health - by skollasch - United States (California)

Today, I had to inform my roommate that dry shampoo, deodorant, and perfume are not the same as a shower. It's been two weeks. FML

#21263853
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35393) - you deserved it (2469)

On 09/23/2014 at 2:30pm - health - by catgiraffegirl (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me that the necklace I gave her wasn't a "unique enough gift." I spent two weeks making that necklace, link by link. FML

#21257946
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42923) - you deserved it (2755)

On 09/14/2014 at 8:53am - love - by NoConfusion (man) - United States (California)

Today, I discovered that one of our cats is super creepy. He humps the blankets on my mother's bed while staring at her while she's sleeping. FML

#21257305
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36772) - you deserved it (3203)

On 09/13/2014 at 2:56am - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I tried to blink out a small speck of dirt that was caught in my eye. Instead, I learned what it feels like to suffocate a small, angry spider with your eyelid. FML

#21251632
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42711) - you deserved it (3186)

On 09/04/2014 at 2:44am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my roommate asked for my opinion of her new painting. The same painting I hand-painted for over ten hours. She apparently thought it was a gift. She won't give it back. FML

#21251580
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37086) - you deserved it (2907)

On 09/04/2014 at 12:46am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She just grabbed the ring and said in a raspy voice, "My precious..." FML

#21250558
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42953) - you deserved it (8646)

On 09/02/2014 at 2:58pm - love - by anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my goat decided my hairstyle was so last season and restyled it for me with his teeth. FML



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