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simplysarcastics

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simplysarcastics

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1285
  • Number of comments : 196
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About simplysarcastics : You will know nothing... Keep it moving bitches.

simplysarcastics's page activity

Visits<b>deusetnatura</b> - 2 hours ago<b>eaglerob</b> - 18 hours ago<b>Drag0nb0rn</b> - 18 hours ago<b>davidisbeast</b> - yesterday at 2:08pm<b>xanderzmommy</b> - yesterday at 8:25am<b>Deadpool47</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 3:08am<b>Raleaf</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 5:38am<b>agustibaarn</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 2:46am<b>BunchieRules</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 1:19am<b>incoherentrmblr</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 12:25am<b>psychopolarbear</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 10:35pm<b>Austrand22</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 9:50pm<b>JosephAnders</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 8:20pm<b>Dodge4x4Ram</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 7:41pm<b>thatsawkward7</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 8:44am<b>Whiplash169</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 9:51pm<b>jack_jill05</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 6:20pm<b>Malcazar</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 7:42pm

Liked!<b>gr4ce_gr4ce</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 7:54pm

simplysarcastics's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

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simplysarcastics's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend told me that the necklace I gave her wasn't a "unique enough gift." I spent two weeks making that necklace, link by link. FML

#21257946
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40289) - you deserved it (2674)

On 09/14/2014 at 8:53am - love - by NoConfusion (man) - United States (California)

Today, I discovered that one of our cats is super creepy. He humps the blankets on my mother's bed while staring at her while she's sleeping. FML

#21257305
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35043) - you deserved it (2953)

On 09/13/2014 at 2:56am - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I tried to blink out a small speck of dirt that was caught in my eye. Instead, I learned what it feels like to suffocate a small, angry spider with your eyelid. FML

#21251632
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41959) - you deserved it (3164)

On 09/04/2014 at 2:44am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my roommate asked for my opinion of her new painting. The same painting I hand-painted for over ten hours. She apparently thought it was a gift. She won't give it back. FML

#21251580
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36739) - you deserved it (2888)

On 09/04/2014 at 12:46am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She just grabbed the ring and said in a raspy voice, "My precious..." FML

#21250558
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40708) - you deserved it (7761)

On 09/02/2014 at 2:58pm - love - by anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my goat decided my hairstyle was so last season and restyled it for me with his teeth. FML

Today, while eating cotton candy, a drunk person came up to me and said "HEY! COTTON CANDY!" And bit me. FML

#21249322
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36206) - you deserved it (2686)

On 08/31/2014 at 10:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, at my dining job, my boss told me the food was "technically illegal to serve," air quotes and all. FML

#21249316
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32242) - you deserved it (2389)

On 08/31/2014 at 9:56pm - work - by dining - United States (Iowa)

Today, I returned from my first paid vacation in the past 2 years from a place with no cell, or internet. I've just found out that our department has been downsized. FML

#21249182
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32698) - you deserved it (2197)

On 08/31/2014 at 5:51pm - work - by Happy Employee (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I learned that while other people drunk call their exes, I drunk adopt cats. Seven cats, to be exact. FML

#21248352
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40622) - you deserved it (9444)

On 08/30/2014 at 7:56am - animals - by cat lady (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, I was called in over speakers at the airport. The man who was speaking clearly and nearly burst out laughing when he said my name. Soon, a few people around also snickered when they heard it. I had to wait five minutes before I could casually stand up. My last name is Bastard. FML

#21248318
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41137) - you deserved it (3209)

On 08/30/2014 at 4:35am - misc - by poorbastard (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, after coming home from a two week vacation, my dog was pink, there were beer bottles and used condoms on my bed, and everything was a mess. I asked my sister, who'd been watching over the place, what had happened. She just said "Oops." and hung up. FML

#21246633
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36953) - you deserved it (3251)

On 08/27/2014 at 6:52pm - misc - by nayahbear24 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my girlfriend got her period. It seemed more painful for her than usual, so I offered to go out and buy some painkillers and maybe some chocolate for her. She thought I was being sarcastic and slapped me so hard I saw stars. FML

#21245120
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40372) - you deserved it (3477)

On 08/25/2014 at 2:58pm - misc - by nhyari (man) - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, I was sitting in a boring lecture. Out of bordom, I made a fish-faces with my mouth. Somehow, I made the most realistic fart noise I've ever heard in the process. The whole room stared at me. FML

Today, my girlfriend sent me a bunch of sexy pics and said to come over to her place. I thought she was in the mood for sex. Nope, she just wanted me to come over and hang a shelf, after which she sent me back home. FML

#21244207
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39122) - you deserved it (5845)

On 08/24/2014 at 1:51am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)



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