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simplysarcastics

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simplysarcastics

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1204
  • Number of comments : 188
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About simplysarcastics : You will know nothing... Keep it moving bitches.

simplysarcastics's page activity

Visits<b>lilDerp</b> - yesterday at 10:29pm<b>GuessWut</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 4:59pm<b>Thenextguyover</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 9:21pm<b>CCzero</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 11:43am<b>Aero_x</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 5:07pm<b>EverestMelting</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 7:11am<b>Miss_Brii</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 3:18am<b>PB_Crocodile</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 11:32pm<b>8Angel8</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 9:02am<b>maximus_prime</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 10:21am<b>Queen_bee1234</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 11:44am<b>olivetree172</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 5:25pm<b>Wiz_Of_Oz</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 2:55pm<b>kangasfwa</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 1:40am<b>CTPope74</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 6:20pm<b>kto123</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 4:52pm<b>Alina_Eduardovna</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 2:39pm<b>otumboo</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 2:05pm

simplysarcastics's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of simplysarcastics's badges

simplysarcastics's favorite FMLs

Today, my goat decided my hairstyle was so last season and restyled it for me with his teeth. FML

#21249670
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23579) - you deserved it (4087)

On 09/01/2014 at 12:22pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, while eating cotton candy, a drunk person came up to me and said "HEY! COTTON CANDY!" And bit me. FML

#21249322
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28719) - you deserved it (2131)

On 08/31/2014 at 10:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, at my dining job, my boss told me the food was "technically illegal to serve," air quotes and all. FML

#21249316
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25824) - you deserved it (1940)

On 08/31/2014 at 9:56pm - work - by dining - United States (Iowa)

Today, I returned from my first paid vacation in the past 2 years from a place with no cell, or internet. I've just found out that our department has been downsized. FML

#21249182
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26200) - you deserved it (1799)

On 08/31/2014 at 5:51pm - work - by Happy Employee (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I learned that while other people drunk call their exes, I drunk adopt cats. Seven cats, to be exact. FML

#21248352
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35627) - you deserved it (8269)

On 08/30/2014 at 7:56am - animals - by cat lady (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, I was called in over speakers at the airport. The man who was speaking clearly and nearly burst out laughing when he said my name. Soon, a few people around also snickered when they heard it. I had to wait five minutes before I could casually stand up. My last name is Bastard. FML

#21248318
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36082) - you deserved it (2898)

On 08/30/2014 at 4:35am - misc - by poorbastard (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, after coming home from a two week vacation, my dog was pink, there were beer bottles and used condoms on my bed, and everything was a mess. I asked my sister, who'd been watching over the place, what had happened. She just said "Oops." and hung up. FML

#21246633
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34854) - you deserved it (3174)

On 08/27/2014 at 6:52pm - misc - by nayahbear24 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my girlfriend got her period. It seemed more painful for her than usual, so I offered to go out and buy some painkillers and maybe some chocolate for her. She thought I was being sarcastic and slapped me so hard I saw stars. FML

#21245120
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38944) - you deserved it (3448)

On 08/25/2014 at 2:58pm - misc - by nhyari (man) - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, I was sitting in a boring lecture. Out of bordom, I made a fish-faces with my mouth. Somehow, I made the most realistic fart noise I've ever heard in the process. The whole room stared at me. FML

Today, my girlfriend sent me a bunch of sexy pics and said to come over to her place. I thought she was in the mood for sex. Nope, she just wanted me to come over and hang a shelf, after which she sent me back home. FML

#21244207
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37844) - you deserved it (5742)

On 08/24/2014 at 1:51am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when we heard a screech. My two cats were having it harder than us. FML

#21241441
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40217) - you deserved it (5322)

On 08/20/2014 at 2:07am - intimacy - by Mia (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, it's the 16th day of my period. FML

#21241406
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63066) - you deserved it (4094)

On 08/20/2014 at 1:15am - health - by BagelTheOtaku (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I finally worked up the nerve to talk to the girl I like. After awkwardly saying hi, I manage to work up a nice conversation with her. I thought everything was going well, until I got home and realized that she had stolen money out of my wallet. FML

#21240655
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38785) - you deserved it (3961)

On 08/18/2014 at 8:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I went to a baseball game with my girlfriend's dad. I got a boner when they sang the anthem, because that's what I sing in my head when having sex with his daughter so I last longer. FML

#21240482
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41905) - you deserved it (15640)

On 08/18/2014 at 12:39pm - intimacy - by embarrassed - United States (New York)

Today, I had to awkwardly grab my pink dildo after my husband's friend asked what it was that my dog was chewing on. FML



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