Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About simplyabsurd : Average height and build. I like ninjas, and industrial music. Also, electronica. And beer hunting is my hobby. I've tried over 200 microbrews to date, and I'm hoping to hit 300 before the year is out. My life never takes a break, I work over nights and have a three year old son. Most of the stories I could tell might fit in here, but I always forget to write them. Maybe now I'll post.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was coaching a little league soccer game. I was telling one of my players to go cover another kid. I said "go cover the little yellow kid!" because he happened to be wearing a yellow shirt. He also happened to be Asian. I then got death stares from his family members. FML
Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML
Today, I had organised to go for an all day fishing trip, but had forgotten to book a day off. I called my boss and told him that I had to stay with my mum in hospital after a car crash that she had last night. He called me a liar and fired me. Turns out my mum is having an affair with my boss. FML
Today, I came home from working twelve hours straight. Feeling rather frisky, I attempted to seduce my wife upon arriving home. She said that sleep was better than sex and went directly to bed. It was only 6:30 PM. FML
Friday 7 March 2014