simplyabsurd

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simplyabsurd

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 5 March 1983 (33 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 12152
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About simplyabsurd : Average height and build. I like ninjas, and industrial music. Also, electronica. And beer hunting is my hobby. I've tried over 200 microbrews to date, and I'm hoping to hit 300 before the year is out. My life never takes a break, I work over nights and have a three year old son. Most of the stories I could tell might fit in here, but I always forget to write them. Maybe now I'll post.

simplyabsurd's page activity

Visits<b>DerSuldam</b> - the 04/09/2016 at 3:59pm<b>Based_Scooby</b> - the 03/01/2016 at 11:13pm<b>lifeispoopie</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 12:24am<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 11:23pm<b>UndeadCity9</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 1:46am<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 10:10pm<b>Jax_Ashnarr</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 8:36am<b>lovebugs7204</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 11:09pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 9:06am<b>swampbaby985</b> - the 12/24/2014 at 3:07am<b>TEZZ</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 7:49pm<b>darkmatou</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 1:31pm<b>paradoxalogic</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 12:03am<b>xMrsCarlilex</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 7:57pm<b>Thursdayxo</b> - the 10/12/2013 at 3:18am<b>arrrrrlennie</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 10:56pm<b></b> - the 01/10/2011 at 11:40pm<b>Djosef</b> - the 06/21/2010 at 12:18pm

Fucked!<b>UndeadCity9</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 7:46am<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 4:51am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 3:06pm

simplyabsurd's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

simplyabsurd's favorite FMLs

Today, I was coaching a little league soccer game. I was telling one of my players to go cover another kid. I said "go cover the little yellow kid!" because he happened to be wearing a yellow shirt. He also happened to be Asian. I then got death stares from his family members. FML

by Anonymous / 05/17/2009 at 9:48am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML

by wtfdreams / 05/17/2009 at 8:33am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I had organised to go for an all day fishing trip, but had forgotten to book a day off. I called my boss and told him that I had to stay with my mum in hospital after a car crash that she had last night. He called me a liar and fired me. Turns out my mum is having an affair with my boss. FML

by Anonymous / 05/17/2009 at 7:32am / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Work

Today, I came home from working twelve hours straight. Feeling rather frisky, I attempted to seduce my wife upon arriving home. She said that sleep was better than sex and went directly to bed. It was only 6:30 PM. FML

by BlueBallMcGee / 05/11/2009 at 8:08am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy