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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 25 September 1988 (28 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 774
  • Number of comments : 19
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About simian_nelipot : I like funny things

simian_nelipot's page activity

Visits<b>countryb_cth</b> - the 11/26/2014 at 1:42pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:29pm<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 3:26am<b>WhaTrWe5</b> - the 01/29/2011 at 1:03pm<b>prettypink786</b> - the 01/16/2011 at 9:56pm<b>lmc94</b> - the 01/14/2011 at 11:33pm<b>stronghand0331</b> - the 01/14/2011 at 6:03pm<b>papaya_master</b> - the 01/13/2011 at 4:52am<b>lilauer13</b> - the 01/12/2011 at 2:55pm<b>greyy_goooose</b> - the 10/31/2010 at 3:21pm<b>Nitro_Toast</b> - the 10/17/2010 at 4:08am<b>ridder215</b> - the 09/16/2010 at 9:24am<b>0___0</b> - the 06/08/2010 at 1:02pm<b>Cuervo23</b> - the 06/08/2010 at 1:57am<b>TheNE</b> - the 05/27/2010 at 2:54pm<b>ToNstAAr</b> - the 05/20/2010 at 7:21pm<b>nadsm</b> - the 05/08/2010 at 9:21am<b>IsabellaC</b> - the 05/07/2010 at 7:29pm

simian_nelipot's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

simian_nelipot's favorite FMLs

Today, I took my daughter to the library instead of the pool. I sat her on the counter and, while I reached for my library card, she turned to the librarian and said "We didn't go to the pool today because Mum has hairy legs." FML

by Anonymous / 01/04/2011 at 3:05am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids

Today, I had to leave my one-night stand in my flat because I was giving a guest lecture at the local university. Halfway through, I hear someone sneaking in so I jokingly asked if they had a 'wild night out.' It was the guy I slept with. FML

by openmouthinsertfoot / 12/07/2010 at 12:21pm / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Intimacy

Today, I got mugged. After taking my cell phone, the guy politely said: "Thanks. Have a nice evening. Be careful on your way home." FML

by Anonymous / 12/07/2010 at 11:09am / Guatemala (Guatemala) / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was walking downtown a homeless person asked me for a dollar. I thought it would be funny to wave the dollar in his face and taunt him. I guess he thought it would be funny to stab me in the leg with a pencil. FML

by who_could_it_be / 08/06/2009 at 9:35am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the mall shoplifting when a girl who looked my age pointed to a shirt I had in my bag. "Stole that, huh?" she asked smiling. She looked pretty cool, so I nodded and asked if she stole the jeans she was wearing, which were from the store. Turns out she didn't, she's the manager. FML

by blovesg / 04/06/2009 at 8:41pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to help, I slowly say, "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says, "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML

by Tourist / 03/26/2009 at 3:19am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking when a man pointed a camera at me. I got bitchy about it, and said "Did I say you could take a picture?" He replied with, "No, but can you get the fuck out of the way so I can take one of my wife and kids?" I turned around, and they were right behind me. FML

by PicturePerfect / 03/02/2009 at 4:33pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I forgot to do my French homework, but since it was an online worksheet, I told my teacher my internet wasn't working. I told her with an e-mail. FML

by ihavepinkbackpac / 02/28/2009 at 2:07pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous