About simcop2387 : Not much to know.
simcop2387's FML badges
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
simcop2387's favorite FMLs
Today, I asked the girl I'm madly in love with out to dinner. When she asked me if I would pay, I jokingly said, "Well, that depends on how the date goes." She looked me up and down and said, "No thanks then." FML
by -insert clever nickname here- / 04/29/2012 at 7:56pm / United States (Washington) / Love
by noname / 04/27/2012 at 8:04am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by Bullocks / 04/27/2012 at 1:49am / United States (New York) / Work
Today, I walked into a public restroom to find that they had set up a free health clinic for the homeless; by that I mean that I found one bum inspecting and cleaning the infected, bloody genitals of another bum. FML
by Anonymous / 04/26/2012 at 8:08am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy
by anonymous / 04/24/2012 at 2:18pm / United States / Love
by xharmonyx / 04/24/2012 at 4:29am / United States / Work
Today, I was trolling in a chat room when someone said, quote: "He's just a no-life, unemployed loser still living in his mom's basement. Probably spends all day stroking his tiny dong and fantasizing about having a real girlfriend." I actually started crying because it was so accurate. FML
by pathetic / 04/23/2012 at 6:06pm / Poland (Mazowieckie) / Geek
Today, I came down with food poisoning of some sort. After hours of scrambling to the toilet to vomit and empty my bowels, my three-year-old daughter got fed up and is now trying to potty-train me. FML
by Anonymous / 04/22/2012 at 1:12pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
by Capteen / 04/22/2012 at 8:17am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy
Today, I woke up to a really cold feeling down below. I opened my eyes and saw my girlfriend grinning like a maniac and holding my crotch-sausage between two scissor blades. I screamed in terror like a little bitch, and she says I'm never gonna live this down. FML
by Hakimstah / 04/21/2012 at 1:38pm / Lebanon / Intimacy
Today, I called my mobile phone provider to end my contract. A sales rep spent over half an hour trying to convince me to reconsider, and I kept refusing. I ended up breaking down and accepting a "more economical" contract, which I didn't notice costs almost twice as much as the last one. FML
by ... / 04/20/2012 at 10:49pm / Canada (Ontario) / Money
Today, my girlfriend dragged me along to one of her family's paintball matches. Her father is a former marine, and hates my guts. He kept going well out of his way to hunt me down and pump as many rounds into me as possible without causing a scene. FML
by fuck / 04/20/2012 at 10:48pm / United States (Georgia) / Love
by Anonymous / 04/18/2012 at 3:18pm / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Intimacy
Today, I was having a hard time waking up. When I sat down for breakfast, my chair rocked backwards. I reflexively grabbed out at something to hold on to. Unfortunately, I grabbed the cereal box that was on the table. FML
by Fillifilo / 04/18/2012 at 12:38am / France / Miscellaneous
by Avery / 03/24/2012 at 4:06pm / United States (California) / Geek
- 1Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 2Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 3Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say…