simcop2387

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simcop2387

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 12 February 1985 (31 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1143
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About simcop2387 : Not much to know.

simcop2387's page activity

Visits<b>aj105</b> - the 03/13/2016 at 11:55pm<b>pataplop</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 4:41pm<b>Soninuva</b> - the 05/06/2013 at 6:06am<b>lmc94</b> - the 12/28/2012 at 5:05pm<b>The_Tool1</b> - the 06/29/2012 at 11:51pm<b>challan</b> - the 06/16/2012 at 10:09pm

simcop2387's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

See all of simcop2387's badges

simcop2387's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked the girl I'm madly in love with out to dinner. When she asked me if I would pay, I jokingly said, "Well, that depends on how the date goes." She looked me up and down and said, "No thanks then." FML

by -insert clever nickname here- / 04/29/2012 at 7:56pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, I found out that my fellow marching band mates all refer to me as the "short girl with big tits" because none of them can remember my name. FML

by noname / 04/27/2012 at 8:04am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was at work in a machine shop, I cut myself really bad. Not by any sharp tools, drills, or metals I work with. Just the soap dispenser. FML

by Bullocks / 04/27/2012 at 1:49am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I walked into a public restroom to find that they had set up a free health clinic for the homeless; by that I mean that I found one bum inspecting and cleaning the infected, bloody genitals of another bum. FML

by Anonymous / 04/26/2012 at 8:08am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, my husband announced that he wants to separate emotionally. Meanwhile, he still wants me to cook and clean for him while he dates his new girlfriend. FML

by anonymous / 04/24/2012 at 2:18pm / United States / Love

Today, I paid for someone else's pee so that I could pass my drug test. I didn't pass the drug test. FML

by xharmonyx / 04/24/2012 at 4:29am / United States / Work

Today, I was trolling in a chat room when someone said, quote: "He's just a no-life, unemployed loser still living in his mom's basement. Probably spends all day stroking his tiny dong and fantasizing about having a real girlfriend." I actually started crying because it was so accurate. FML

by pathetic / 04/23/2012 at 6:06pm / Poland (Mazowieckie) / Geek

Today, I came down with food poisoning of some sort. After hours of scrambling to the toilet to vomit and empty my bowels, my three-year-old daughter got fed up and is now trying to potty-train me. FML

by Anonymous / 04/22/2012 at 1:12pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I found out the bed I sleep in is the bed I was conceived in. FML

by Capteen / 04/22/2012 at 8:17am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I woke up to a really cold feeling down below. I opened my eyes and saw my girlfriend grinning like a maniac and holding my crotch-sausage between two scissor blades. I screamed in terror like a little bitch, and she says I'm never gonna live this down. FML

by Hakimstah / 04/21/2012 at 1:38pm / Lebanon / Intimacy

Today, I called my mobile phone provider to end my contract. A sales rep spent over half an hour trying to convince me to reconsider, and I kept refusing. I ended up breaking down and accepting a "more economical" contract, which I didn't notice costs almost twice as much as the last one. FML

by ... / 04/20/2012 at 10:49pm / Canada (Ontario) / Money

Today, my girlfriend dragged me along to one of her family's paintball matches. Her father is a former marine, and hates my guts. He kept going well out of his way to hunt me down and pump as many rounds into me as possible without causing a scene. FML

by fuck / 04/20/2012 at 10:48pm / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, I attempted to wax my "lady area". It hurt more than losing my virginity. FML

by Anonymous / 04/18/2012 at 3:18pm / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Intimacy

Today, I was having a hard time waking up. When I sat down for breakfast, my chair rocked backwards. I reflexively grabbed out at something to hold on to. Unfortunately, I grabbed the cereal box that was on the table. FML

by Fillifilo / 04/18/2012 at 12:38am / France / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized I've been confusing scenes from The Lord of the Rings with American history. FML

by Avery / 03/24/2012 at 4:06pm / United States (California) / Geek