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simcop2387

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simcop2387
  • Town/Country : Dallas, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 12 February 1985 (29 years)
  • Number of visits : 483
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About simcop2387 : Not much to know.

simcop2387's last visitors

Soninuvalmc94The_Tool1challan

simcop2387's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

See all of simcop2387's badges

simcop2387's favorite FMLs

Today, I was digging in my lawn, trying to ignore the suspicious glances coming from my nosy fuckball of a neighbor. When he asked what I was doing, I replied with dripping sarcasm, that I was digging up the schoolkids I killed last year. Fifteen minutes later, the cops he called arrived. FML

#20015702
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26640) - you deserved it (7723)

On 08/11/2012 at 7:47pm - misc - by diggingaplotforone - United States (California)

Today, I came out of the closet. I came out on Facebook to spare myself awkward conversations and gossip. I wrote a deeply meaningful status about my partner and my pride in who I was. The only responses were, "Lol", "Hacked", and similar remarks. FML

#19719368
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25535) - you deserved it (10635)

On 06/02/2012 at 2:50am - misc - by OutOfTheCloset - United States (Texas)

Today, in a rush to get my clothes back on at my girlfriend's house at the sound of her parents opening the front door, I forgot to take the condom off. Her dad watched it fall out of my pant leg and onto the kitchen floor. FML

#19710621
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17871) - you deserved it (37317)

On 05/31/2012 at 4:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, in a rush to get my clothes back on at my girlfriend's house at the sound of her parents opening the front door, I forgot to take the condom off. Her dad watched it fall out of my pant leg and onto the kitchen floor. FML

#19710621
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17871) - you deserved it (37317)

On 05/31/2012 at 4:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I spilled loose face powder on myself while applying my make-up. My sister subsequently walked in on me vacuuming my crotch. FML

#19709039
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17383) - you deserved it (3651)

On 05/31/2012 at 9:43am - misc - by anon (woman) - United Kingdom (Dorset)

Today, my little brother got his crush to go out with him by impressing her with his level 500 FarmVille. This is the next generation. FML

#19708903
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25499) - you deserved it (1957)

On 05/31/2012 at 8:43am - kids - by Discouraged - United States (Maryland)

Today, while sitting in my Forensic Psychology class, my professor listed all of the main traits that indicate someone may very well be a sociopath. Every single trait described my fiancé perfectly. FML

#19708258
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22825) - you deserved it (4701)

On 05/31/2012 at 2:50am - love - by Getmeout (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I met up with my dad after having worked abroad for the past six months. Apparently, during that time he's had a mid-life crisis or been snorting a few too many turds, because he's now some sort of hippie calling himself "Memnoch of Pleiades". FML

#19705574
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16157) - you deserved it (1592)

On 05/30/2012 at 5:34pm - misc - by wtf (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, my girlfriend stuck her finger up my butt while giving me a hand-job, promising it would feel really good. It just felt awkward and made me need to poop. FML

#19703392
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32798) - you deserved it (8324)

On 05/30/2012 at 5:46am - intimacy - by Brax (man) - United States

Today, after a surprise candlelit dinner and a two bottles of wine for my birthday, my boyfriend and I decided to take a sexy shower together. It ended with us both drunk, naked, and crying, wedged into a small tub together, talking about our dead pets. FML

#19702897
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27546) - you deserved it (6900)

On 05/30/2012 at 1:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at work, my friend dared me to answer the next call on my phone by saying, "This is your local sperm bank. You jack it, we pack it." I did it. The person on the phone was my boss. FML

#19682982
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7860) - you deserved it (29330)

On 05/26/2012 at 10:42am - intimacy - by girly girly - United States (Texas)

Today, there was a knock on my apartment door. It was the man from next-door, who sarcastically asked if I was alright, because he said he heard me screaming in agony. I was singing. FML

#19682010
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16253) - you deserved it (3847)

On 05/26/2012 at 3:00am - misc - by MALICEG - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, on the brink of a stiflingly hot summer, I've come to a terrible realisation. It seems the apartment I've just moved into has been specially insulated to trap enough heat inside for the occupants to survive the planet's next Ice Age. FML

#19678999
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16534) - you deserved it (1883)

On 05/25/2012 at 3:55pm - misc - by Broon (man) - United Kingdom (Leeds)



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