Nm to really say but I love fmylife.com it makes me laugh a lot.
Today, I carved a pumpkin for Halloween. I thought it would be cool to carve my name, and have it shine through onto the wall behind it. I figured that if I carved my name backwards then it would show up correct on the wall. My name's Lana and now my wall says Anal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6491) - you totally deserved it (25462)
On 10/23/2009 at 1:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, I was tinting my own eyelashes when I missed my eyelashes and stabbed myself in the eye with the applicator loaded with dye. Now, I have beautiful lush black eyelashes, to match my half closed swollen red left eye. Sexy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6961) - you totally deserved it (14166)
On 10/22/2009 at 6:22pm - health - by Bunni (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I texted my brother saying "Always remember I love you! Never forget it!" to which he answered: "You better not be doing drugs." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14606) - you totally deserved it (5620)
On 10/21/2009 at 7:21pm - love - by Lovelysister (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my girlfriend and I had the weekend all to ourselves. On the second day, we finally got intimate, with me doing all she asked of her. In return for hard-work, she took my meat in her hand and started making lightsaber noises, before pronouncing "I don't see why people like it so much." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6511) - you totally deserved it (1119)
On 10/18/2009 at 7:29am - intimacy - by Ignitingmylightsaber (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, while working as a plain clothes police officer, I witnessed a fight in a front yard. My partner and I intervened and clearly identified ourselves as police. Unfortunately, the two guys' mother didn't have her hearing aid in, and hit my arm with a baseball bat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19087) - you totally deserved it (2259)
On 10/12/2009 at 4:38am - work - by Undercover (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was going to do some laundry, with the washer and dryer I bought off of Craigslist for 150 dollars. The washer leaks and the dryer doesn't dry. So I called the guy and left an angry message about how the washer flooded my kitchen. In fact I just forgot to hook up the drain hose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2752) - you totally deserved it (35837)
On 07/10/2009 at 12:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, this girl and I were chilling in my apartment and things got heated up and we started making out. One thing lead to another and the next thing I knew she was giving me head. I was getting ready to bust when she stopped, looked up into my eyes and said "Do you believe in Jesus?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (111644) - you totally deserved it (13637)
On 03/26/2009 at 7:41am - intimacy - by JAY22 (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was at a club with my girlfriend of only two weeks. As we were dancing, another woman grabbed my ass from behind me and squeezed. I yelped and turned around to see my mother as the culprit. My girlfriend punched her. I found out my mother is a Cougar and my girl has a mean right hook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (135012) - you totally deserved it (7407)
On 03/23/2009 at 1:10pm - intimacy - by VinnyGoombots (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I get to see my boyfriend again after a month. So I decided to shave my pubic hair in the shape of a heart. After my little striptease, he gasped in admiration "Aaaw, Batman sign!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (13129) - you totally deserved it (5801)
On 11/20/2008 at 7:55am - love - by batgirl - France (Ile-de-France)
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