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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was peeing in a urinal at a bar. A drunk guy comes in, and seeing no urinals open, he decides to pee between my legs from behind me. He didn't have good aim. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55148) - you deserved it (2325)
On 07/27/2009 at 3:07pm - misc - by webperson04 (man) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I pulled up next to my boyfriend at a stoplight. He was in the back of a police car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45038) - you deserved it (4522)
On 07/21/2009 at 1:45pm - love - by sexychica (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, during some previews before the new Harry Potter movie, a guy stood up and led the audience in an enthusiastic and rather successful chant "H-A-R-R-Y!". Minutes later when I attempted to do the same thing, I was pelted with half-full bags of popcorn, freezing sodas, and booing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8351) - you deserved it (60328)
On 07/20/2009 at 1:54am - misc - by Chelsea (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my friend got drunk. He always pukes when he gets drunk, but I decided to drive him home anyway. He didn't puke the whole ride. We arrived at his house and he got out. Right as I was about to drive away he stumbled back to my car because he forgot his wallet. He grabbed it and puked on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32498) - you deserved it (4081)
On 07/15/2009 at 9:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I queued up for few hours in torrential rain to see the Harry Potter premiere. After just four hours sleep and waking at 3am, I fell asleep during film and missed the whole thing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14602) - you deserved it (44683)
On 07/07/2009 at 7:51am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)
Today, my friend told me that semen was inflammable. Later at night I jacked off into a sock and then, excitedly, tried to lit the sock on fire. Turns out, semen is very much not inflammable. Naked, I shook my sock in the air so it would extinguish while my semen splashed out all over my room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6220) - you deserved it (87415)
On 06/27/2009 at 12:41am - intimacy - by notinflammable (man) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I sprained my wrist playing Guitar Hero. The ER doctor called all of his coworkers in to hear my story. They all laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15240) - you deserved it (34174)
On 06/16/2009 at 12:43pm - misc - by Slash (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my toddler peed in his potty for the first time. He was so excited to show me that he flung the pot in the air dousing my face with his piss. Then he laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44399) - you deserved it (4090)
On 06/16/2009 at 3:03am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was enjoying some much needed serenity while I ate lunch in an empty park. To my surprise, an older, clean cut man in a suit sits on the bench next to me. Without saying a word, he unleashes the most foul of farts I've ever witnessed, gets up, gives me a nod and leaves. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64366) - you deserved it (4193)
On 06/16/2009 at 2:15am - misc - by Tim (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, while the kid I was babysitting was in the bathroom, he called to me "I need some help in here." Worried I ran to the bathroom and asked him what was wrong. He needed me to wipe his butt. As if that weren't gross enough, just as my hand was under his butt, he pooped again and laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51135) - you deserved it (4331)
On 05/30/2009 at 12:24am - kids - by sdasdflkjas (woman) - United States
Today, I tried to imitate Mary Poppins by jumping off a shed with an umbrella. I spent the next 3 hours in the emergency room. My leg is broken. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13504) - you deserved it (164372)
On 05/29/2009 at 11:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was sitting at my college campus, there were good looking girls all around me and I was trying to catch their eye and smile, letting them know I'm available. A butterfly flew by me and I screamed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13914) - you deserved it (44708)
On 05/20/2009 at 8:11pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I had a phone interview with my potential new boss. I was getting excited about the prospects of landing a great job. I had nailed every question the man asked me and right after he told me he'll call me tomorrow if he wants me to come in I sweetly said, "Talk to you tomorrow, Love you" FML
I agree, your life sucks (18436) - you deserved it (41777)
On 05/07/2009 at 5:10pm - work - by jobless (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I really get off on hearing her say my name so I was imagining her doing so more often than she actually was. I then called out my own name by accident. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22435) - you deserved it (76633)
On 05/07/2009 at 10:45am - intimacy - by eeh (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I saw my neighbor's son mowing their lawn when suddenly he started to do this crazy dance. Chuckling at his antics I waved and walked back into my house. His mom called me from a hospital later to ask if I could put the mower away; he had been attacked by bees. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15522) - you deserved it (38516)
On 05/04/2009 at 8:46pm - kids - by Jon (man) - United States (Maine)
Friday 24 May 2013
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