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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I asked my kids how much they loved me. My seven year old responded, 'I'll love you forever mummy.' My sixteen year old responded, 'Can you wind down the window, I just farted.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (16455) - you deserved it (9045)
On 12/12/2009 at 8:29pm - kids - by ljjprchf (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I fainted and woke up in a hospital. My mom drove me to the emergency room. The doctor said I had a panic attack. What did I have a panic attack from? Bidding on ebay. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6845) - you deserved it (18110)
On 12/11/2009 at 8:31pm - misc - by graospe (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was in a meeting at work. In the middle of our CEO's speech, I farted. Everyone heard including my boss, who looked over and said, "Do you have anything else you wanted to add?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (10703) - you deserved it (14450)
On 12/11/2009 at 1:11pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, my grandpa was wearing flip flops and white socks. He entered my restroom, and the moment he did it, I realized there was no toilet paper left. I felt too ashamed to interrupt his dump, so I waited for him to ask for paper, he never did and came out without socks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21009) - you deserved it (3397)
On 12/10/2009 at 4:03pm - misc - by dayum (man) - Mexico (Chihuahua)
Today, my greatgrandpa came over for dinner. Halfway through the meal, he pooped himself. My family went through the rest of the meal acting like we hadn't noticed to avoid embarassment. As it was coming to an end, my sister came home and immediately yelled, "Ew! Did someone poop?" He cried. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32550) - you deserved it (1803)
On 12/09/2009 at 2:39am - misc - by PoorGramps - United States (Texas)
Today, while sitting with my son, an ice cream cone landed on my head from out of no where. I look up to see three children on the balcony above us yelling, "Look we hit the fat lady!" They ran away laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26034) - you deserved it (3683)
On 10/22/2009 at 11:47am - misc - by mvgirl - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my house got robbed, while I was upstairs taking a dump. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35252) - you deserved it (4265)
On 10/20/2009 at 6:56am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (67411) - you deserved it (9583)
On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I stopped at the light when someone crashed on to my motorcycle making me fall. The guy claimed it was my fault because I stopped too fast. I got really mad, so I attempted to spit on his face and was ready to start a fight when I noticed that I forgot to lift the helmet shield. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6721) - you deserved it (32889)
On 10/08/2009 at 8:22am - misc - by lumacsp - United States (Florida)
Today, I told my daughter how her eyes look exactly as pretty as my wife's. She told me that she loved the way my eyeballs stick out of my face, just like Elmo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28544) - you deserved it (3011)
On 10/03/2009 at 8:33am - kids - by dessaye (man) - Singapore
Today, I told my husband I wanted a divorce. He told me he didn't. End of discussion. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32639) - you deserved it (11978)
On 09/28/2009 at 11:14am - misc - by jentown11 (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I took my 5 year-old son to the barber shop. When the man finishes with him, I tell the guy, "while we're here, I might as well get a trim too." My son then exclaims very loudly in front of a very full barber's shop, "Dad! You don't need a haircut, you need hair!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (23545) - you deserved it (4546)
On 09/18/2009 at 2:17am - kids - by ben (man) - United States (Utah)
Today, my family gathered to pray. It was my brother's turn to pray and he ended with this, "...and help Chev that he does not become the disappointment everyone expects him to be. Amen." I looked on in shock as my entire family nodded and said "Amen" in agreement. Hi, I'm Chev. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32209) - you deserved it (3337)
On 09/16/2009 at 3:58pm - misc - by jaskyriddims (man) - Dominica (Saint George)
Today, I went on a blind date with a guy who talked about himself in the 3rd person. Seriously. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37398) - you deserved it (4402)
On 09/13/2009 at 12:15am - love - by blind_date (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I got to work feeling slightly unwell. A couple of hours later, an extremely attractive customer came to my till, at which point my body decided it would be a good idea to vomit last night's dinner all over myself and the customer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28633) - you deserved it (2893)
On 09/08/2009 at 5:07am - work - by h0308 (woman) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)
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